It's tough to work hard
I've been lazy since I was a kid. Even now, when compared to people around me, the speed and quality of work are completely poor, and I often fall into self-loathing.
The less I work, the more the burden on others increases. I don't want to bother you, so I don't think it's good to be lazy. I don't think it's okay to be lazy.
But no matter what, I couldn't concentrate, and I felt like I didn't like it anymore, so I quickly threw up my work.
I'm sorry for bothering others in this way, and even so, I can't help but hate myself for not being able to do my best, but I really can't do my best.
When it is pointed out that I should make more effort, I feel like I have a grudge against my partner, thinking that I am suffering so much due to self-loathing and sorry for others.
I think I have to do it. I'm exhausted from that conflict alone, and I think I'm doing my best, but I wonder if I'm just being spoiled after all.
Being able to concentrate for a long time or respond well and quickly to work is also each person's ability, so I don't have that ability, so I can't help but overdo it. Even when I think that I have no choice but to do my best to the extent that I can,
It's not easy for others to understand “the extent that I can do with my abilities,” and it's hard to see people after all, they set their own limits without permission in the first place and use it as an excuse to give up, and that they don't want to be spoiled after all.
You probably won't suddenly become a person who can work, but isn't there any way to make it easier?
