Instead of forgiving my husband to cheat on me, I cheated

Hmmm... I understand what you're saying, though.
Is it possible to have an affair with just sexual treatment?

When I proposed it to my husband, he said he definitely wouldn't like it.
Well, men are selfish, aren't they?
This woman won't leave me! They probably have that confidence.
The fact that it's because it's a physiological phenomenon is also a man's selfish statement, isn't it?

Why don't you sign a contract with your husband and wife?
Like exchange terms.
If you cheat on me, I'll do ○○. I don't know if ○○ is the word cheating.

This is the domain of married couples.
If both of them are satisfied, isn't it possible to have an affair?

If I go that far, my husband might change his mind too.

It must be difficult to convince your husband. It's a totally selfish story. Why don't we both handle it ourselves? If we do something we both don't like, the relationship will only deteriorate, and what lies beyond that is probably divorce.
Make each other feel important, and don't do anything that the other person doesn't like. Do something that makes you happy. I think it's very important as a person. It's probably the trick to a happy marriage.

ABC-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

“Instead of forgiving my husband an affair, I cheated too”... it's probably like “controlling poison with poison,” but then both of them are unfaithful, and it's not really recommended as bad behavior in Buddhism.

I don't know what state my husband is in a sexual relationship with a local woman, but since there are risks of illness, pregnancy, etc., there is a risk that in the future, depending on the act of infidelity, it will further violate the marriage relationship.

Honestly, while it's clear that they have had sexual relationships with other women, I'm wondering if the marital relationship is going well...

Of course, I also wonder if my husband is going back on his feet...

From now on, for example, if you become pregnant, sexual activity will also be restricted over a long period of time. (You may be able to help with the treatment, but... when you have hyperemesis gravidarum or when you feel unwell, you may not be able to do that either.) Even then, with such excuses, there is a possibility that they will have sexual relationships with other women, and honestly, if you can't handle it yourself, it's a bit at risk whether the marital relationship will go well in the future...

Anyway, as an issue before processing methods, if you think about it from the normal state of marital relationships, if you have a sexual relationship with another woman, it indicates immediate divorce and nails, and if it actually becomes clear, I think it would be better to get divorced.

I'm worried that the feeling of having a sexual relationship with another woman is slightly understood as being unavoidable is already quite out of place.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

I read your question...

They're in their late 20s, and they don't even have children, so it's still an age where it's still hard for both of us to start over.

There are individual differences in the strength or weakness of sexual desire, so I'm not sorry,

Why did you get married to your current husband?

If you delve into the idea of loving someone, various things come up that you don't like being done to yourself, such as not dealing with them, or vice versa, doing to your partner what you were happy to do.

Simply put, it's about being considerate of the other person.

I want to take good care of my partner.

I don't do what the other person doesn't want.

I think that's it.

The fact that your husband succumbs to his own desires and has no idea how disrespectful and hurtful it would be to his wife when he cheated on him overseas, and it can be seen from the fact that you, the wife, know the fact that she had an affair.

I don't think it would be nice if they didn't get caught at all.

A year ago, it was said that “cheating is also worth a man,” etc., but that was only when they had enough financial power to surround other women other than their wives.

Nor does it mean that you can do anything if you have money.

Your husband is probably still young, or rather still a child.

It only led to the feeling that I wanted to play ❗, and I probably didn't even think about how much my own actions hurt my wife.

And now, since I've been cheated on, if it's okay to cheat on myself, isn't this already a “similar couple”?

Men and women have equal rights; of course, there is no objection.

However, in “if done, we will do it back,” we do not have the same rights, and we will continue to commit crimes while hurting each other.

Once again, you yourself went back to the beginning,

Why are you
did they get married,
What did you want to do after getting married
What were you looking for in a partner
What were you giving your opponent

Please think about it.

Instead of thinking about making your partner happy, think about how you can be happy and how you can make your partner happy.

If you don't think that partner is your current husband, I think you'll be much happier if you break up quickly and think about being happy with each other.

causal retaliation... what has been done always comes back.

Of course, there are good things, and bad things too.

Good evening. I came here after reading the second question, so the order is reversed, but here too.
I see, this is a question and answer that began with your husband's overseas business trip.
“It's going to accumulate, so I want to get rid of it,” Kunigenshi's answer about that, or “what if you go with me?” I think so. However, if you do that, it's like being in charge of sexual desire processing.
Yes, I feel that the place that became a “sexual desire processing problem” at the beginning is a bit lonely. It can also be read as saying, “Still, if they are equal, then it's fine.”
As I read your question (as was my statement recently), I am reminded of some knowledge in the field of “animal ethology.” Even when it comes to “gender differences,” I think there are differences beyond what you are aware of. Hunting and gathering lifestyle (it seems like there will be a lot of unsuitability for men and women, right?) That's because only about 10,000 years have passed since we moved to farming culture from the time they were doing it. What's more, men and women do the same work and get the same food, even if the philosophy is correct, there is no history of 100 years.
How do the ideals “men and women are equal” and the concrete examples that appear in the “~ man, ~ woman” books you see in the streets connect? Are they compatible? I really think this is an issue we should pursue. “What is equality” and what kind of state is equality? On the other hand, what is individuality?
I feel like peace will probably come when I agree with my husband.