How can I accept myself?

I think there are two mistakes that people tend to make: “if I only had this” and “if I didn't have that.” As I say, I always think “if I only have money,” I live my life. Whether it's good or bad, if you have a family and children, you definitely have to worry about money. That's why I always keep thinking “if I only have money.”

Well, that's probably not the case when it comes to whether all the rich are happy. In particular, it is well known that people who have suddenly obtained large sums of money that they are not used to have are in great trouble.

Also, there are certainly times in life when “I don't even have that.” I often think that if I hadn't met him, that incident wouldn't even have happened. However, this is also a mistake. It's the same as talking about money.

I'm also a man, so I understand that you think that if you're married, all you need is a girlfriend, and I don't want to stop thinking that. This is because I think there are probably only a few people who don't want to have a good family with a wonderful partner.

Furthermore, from a Buddhist standpoint, “if I only had this” or “if I didn't have that,” is a mistake. This is evident from the fact that there are so many people who regret getting married, and people whose marriages have broken down. So it may be difficult, but it's about moving away from the idea that it's not worth living because you're not married, etc. If you look at people who are single but live happily (the majority are women), you can see that marriage alone isn't happy. The first thing to do is think that regardless of whether you are single or married, you have a fulfilling life, and make the present fruitful. Otherwise, I also think it would be difficult to meet good women. If you are loved and adored by many people around you, you're probably happy even if you're single for the rest of your life.

Even if you get married, it won't work out. It's not like being happy if you get married. Conversely, you can be happy even if you don't get married.

You have to be the same as a person compared to others. If we can't be happy, we can't all be happy.
However, in reality, each person has different parts, and they are all satisfied. First, let's stop thinking about comparing ourselves to others. I think there is more to a fulfilling life than just love and marriage. I think it's a good idea to have hobbies other than work and enhance your hobbies.
Being natural can also lead to encounters.

I think the idea that marriage and romance are everything is too extreme.

I felt like my life depended on my own thoughts.
It must have been decided this way.
I wish it were like this.
It would be nice if it were like this, but that's not the case.
I want it to go the way I want it to go, but that doesn't work.
“Oh, that's boring, I'll stop it.”
(・ω・) Yes, that's right. This is because I had strong expectations and my own rules from the beginning.
Aren't pre-determined decisions made within you first?
That always comes first. Always ahead.
Therefore, they only try to accept the self they like and the reality they like.
There's no such thing. So I deny myself.
Reject yourself.
What you should really deny and reject is probably that thought and the rules you've decided yourself.
Your challenge is “not to have your own rules, to experience the situation as if it were an encounter without a script, without having your own rules.”
Even if what you want doesn't happen there, stay close to it.
If you're lonely, you can be alone.
It would be nice if I could become “Oh, I miss my girlfriend (lol)” without being negative about “Oh, I'm lonely...”
It's about accepting who you are now that you can't get married.
It's not like they want to accept it.
There are lots of repulsive feelings coming out, so it would be nice if we were honest about that.
There are those of you who “decide” to try to suppress such feelings by force with your own rules.
It's about stopping it.
anyway, the only thing left to do is die in the event.
It's my rule to look at that kind of ridiculous thing.
Saying that kind of thing itself makes me feel inferior.
Hard work is fine. Try not to bring extra decisions and rules of your own into it each time.
Don't let yourself get involved.
I don't look at the world the way I see it.
Even with this kind of answer, I will accept it as it is, just as I received it.
They don't interpret each one in vain or fight back with “but.”
That's not letting my rules get involved.
“Ah, that's right” is fine.
That is an easy trick to accept everything exactly as it is, first and foremost.

There is an American named Nick who has no hands or legs. http://grapee.jp/35496
He makes things that seem impossible possible with his conviction.
For example, call a cell phone.
I wonder if I can do that without both hands and feet? You might think so.
But he gets it through with conviction and training.
I put myself in such a situation by believing and being grateful that life's difficulties “can always be achieved.” He also had a dream. It was about getting married.
Actually, when I heard that, I thought it might not be possible, and I was a little worried.
Then, after about 5 years, they got married.
I think they strongly believed and imagined that “I'm sure someone like that will show up for me too” and “there are people who can make me happy,” and I think they were grateful even before it came true.
Now, if you look at the world, there are often women who want to marry Japanese men in rural areas (like the back of Chiang Mai) in Southeast Asian countries such as Thailand.
Of course, even in Japan, there are women who probably live lonely lives without a lover.
It's just that I haven't met you well yet.
Why don't you also believe that “there are definitely women who can make you happy (not “yourself”) and do something that benefits others (disaster volunteering)? I don't know where and what kind of connections can be made.
But if you have a dark, pessimistic face at that time, you won't be able to make use of it even if you have a chance to meet someone.
People have bright, good-looking faces when they're doing something for them, so I think it's important to create such opportunities for yourself. After all, people are attracted to bright faces...

Now, what I want to say is, isn't it still too early to give up? That's it.
I wish you a good future.