You can't get away with it.

Breaking up with a relative and death is a normal event that is natural for both animals and humans.
The summer is hot, the rainy season is rainy, and the earth is round.
There's no point in getting angry about it.
Sadness is also a form of anger.

In the case of wild animals, the majority of children are killed by natural enemies.

My goal is to become an adult.
Small children are so sad that they cry and scream even if they just drop one candy.
However, adults don't cry with just one candy.
The death of your crying daughter is nothing like crying when viewed from the perspective of an adult (Buddha) far beyond you.

Aim for the perspective of the Buddha, who is the ultimate adult.

appending
You probably won't be able to take the Buddha's point of view right away, but the direction you should aim for is the ultimate adult. When we start aiming for that, I think the world will completely change.
The memorial service also has the aspect of training for those left behind (living).
The memorial service can be held without sorrow or anger.
Sadness and anger are the cause of worry and suffering, but if you cherish your sadness and anger like a treasure, it's not easy to move in the direction of eliminating your worries and suffering.
Having to grieve for my daughter is a false sense of guilt.
No matter what the reason, sadness and anger are devilish afflictions that cause trouble and suffering.

My name is Kameyama Junshi.

Previously, the late Professor Katsutomo Hanayama wrote the following anecdote in his book (“A Good Way to Live a Good Way to Die” published by Goma Shobo). The teacher had six children, but the second daughter passed away due to events just one day before her fourth birthday. While many people seemed to be asking for condolences, the wife said, “I don't want to meet someone who hasn't lost a child.” It seems that they were taken away. Professor Katsutomo Hanayama says he felt the same way.
In the midst of that,
“It must be very painful and sad for you to lose your precious child. However, even that sadness is very envious when viewed from people like me who wanted one and couldn't have children. You have memories for at least four years, but my husband and I don't even think that.”
It seems that there was a consolation person who spoke with it. To those words, “It's never this painful.” It is said that he thought that he had a face that looked like the unhappiest person in the world, how arrogant he was.

Also, Izumi Shikibu, a female poet from the Heian dynasty, mourned the death of her young child and wrote a poem, “Teach them to know a strange person in the world of dreams and return home is knowledge.” “My child, who passed away at a young age, was a Buddha who was born and died to teach me the impermanence of this world.” That's it.

We are keenly aware of the impermanence of the world through the grief of bereavement. Even if we know that we should die someday, “why?” There is no escape from that thought. In the Jodo Shinshu sect, which is my denomination, there is a “why?” for human death I can't escape this thought, and I will explain that Amida Nyorai's mercy (a vow that any person will always be saved from confusion) exists. Then, when I came across Amida Nyorai's mercy, the feeling of sadness I had (even if it never went away) made me think, “The deceased was a Buddha, and this led me to Amida Nyorai's great mercy.” I think it will make me look at it like that.

If you don't have memories or memories, you won't be sad. Deep sadness means that memories are proportionately deep. The deeper your sorrow, the more likely that person was the Buddha who guided you to Amida Nyorai's mercy.

The loss of my daughter is unmistakably sad. However, if you think about that as a fact, it's a thing of the past.
Not being satisfied right now isn't a fact; it's a story of thought.

I'm sad because I'm thinking about comparing the past we lived and spent time together with my current life.
But the past isn't real anymore. What you can see and hear is just there. It's just the way it is. It exists without adding or comparing the past.
If you notice that and live your life devoting yourself to that fact, you should notice a reality that you are satisfied with.

Please learn Zen by all means. Death, like life, happens to everyone. It was specially picked up, and you should also know that it's not about suffering. Please learn what the Buddha noticed.

Has it been 16 days since we first met...
What I'm going to talk about now is about the Soto sect. Perhaps it contradicts the teachings of Minori's denomination. If you do that, you may confuse Minori like “God gives tests” (Christianity). If you don't get it right, just ignore it. Responses will be deleted if necessary, so feel free to say so at any time.

Well, I already passed away 5 years ago, and there was a person called Daido Zenji who was the chief priest of Sojiji Temple, the head temple of the Soto sect. Zenji was always in agreement with the rain when it rained, and joined the snow when it snowed. I wonder why...

In Buddhism, there is a saying, “Take a branch of grass and build a big big temple.” Of course, it is not possible to build a temple using a single plant as a material. Instead, it means that you should use this place where you are right now, at this moment, as a place of ascetic practice. This is because we are born, raised, and there is no other place to return to. They are born on this Earth, live on this Earth, and return to this Earth.

With such a feeling of respect for her mother's womb, like her own nature, I wonder if Zenji joined the world of rain when it rained, the world of snow when it snowed, and the world when it cleared up...

The place where the young lady was sent out is this world that unfolds right in front of you. Therefore, by cherishing this world and making the most of it in this world, it will be the greatest memorial service for the young lady. If we head in that direction, I'm sure one day they will help Minori from this world.

It's a world where you want to cry when you want to cry. Please cry with all your might. That's what it means to value this world. That is a memorial service. Let's thank the young lady for the offerings and treat them with care. However, it will take some time for Minori's mind to calm down. It's going to take a very long time. But we, the monks, are together, so please come and think about it. And don't be impatient if you have to be saved. You can be perverse to us.

Minori
Due to the fact that my daughter passed away
Sadness and suffering are conveyed.
I think it's really painful.

Who is Minori
Due to the grief and suffering of losing my daughter
I don't think they can look forward and get away from there.

If you try to force yourself to look ahead or get lost
Isn't it going to be even more painful?

Right now, I'm asking them to listen to my feelings
Be alone when you want to be alone
Cry when you want to cry
I think we can't help but be sad and suffer.

That's how much Minori's heart is
I think it's deeply hurt.

Right now, use the arrow to get out
Why don't you just stay by my side?

nor
Because Minori is sad and suffering
Your daughter won't be sad or suffer.

Minori-sama
This is Urakami from Nagomi-an.

I read the written question.
Your thoughts are spinning round and round, round and round.
Sadness, anger, regret, pain, unspeakable emotions... all kinds of things are mixed up, and my heart tightens when I think about how I am suffering from those feelings.

Please tell me the arrow and direction to get out of this thought... sorry I can't do that. If I were to put myself in Minori's position, how much pain would I have to suffer and get around. You'll spit out your painful feelings to those around you, and you may say a grudge against the Buddha.
I can only feel Minori's painful feelings, even if only slightly, together.

As I may have mentioned before, an important young lady has passed away. Therefore, I don't think it's possible to quickly move forward or get out of suffering.

The suffering that Minori is feeling is two sides of the same coin with the feeling that she cares for her daughter. I know it's painful, but that suffering, loneliness, pain, love, memories, and other thoughts...
Right now, I think all I can do is hug everything.

When I couldn't hold it and my thoughts were overflowing. In such a case, please contact hasunoha again.