I can't communicate with my husband

Tarako

Nice to meet you, my name is Tetsuya Urakami.
You seem worried about your relationship with your husband.
I also had a hard time thinking that the family built by the two of them wasn't happy, and that the atmosphere was extremely unbearable.

In the words of someone I look up to my mentor...
“Marriage is a good thing.
When they were lovers, it became known how much the person they thought would understand them was someone who didn't understand them.
It makes me aware of my selfishness, where I feel that my partner doesn't turn out the way I want.”
There is something called.
“Even if you're a married couple, you can't understand everything. It takes effort to be on good terms.” I think it means.

No matter what kind of family structure they live in (living with either parent or family, having children, etc.), a married couple will never be related by blood. In that sense, they are different people. That's why I think we need each other's efforts since we're a family.
There was a saying, “Or is it unnecessary to have a conversation with the couple?” but that's not the case. We're not spers, so I think we should discuss and communicate without any hassle.

... That being said, Tarako is trying very hard to communicate, so the problem is with her husband.
Are you struggling with a major problem at work, or are you originally not good at expressing detailed feelings, or if there are other problems... I can't guess, but there is probably some cause.

I think it's difficult in a situation where you push your arms for goodwill, but I'm thinking from the bottom of my heart so that the time will come when we can break our bellies and talk, so that we can regain the relationship of “they're two on good terms.”

Based on the content of the question, it seems that Tarako's feelings haven't changed,
I feel like your husband's feelings have cooled down.
There are times when we have calmed down a bit since we were newlyweds, but it's lonely.
It would be nice if your husband didn't have feelings for other women.
Or is there something about your husband's personality?
Are you thinking about it at work?
Is there a problem at my parents' house?
Do you have problems that you can't even talk to your wife about?
I went on a trip to places I remember from when the two of them met, etc.
It would be nice if we could create another opportunity to have a thorough discussion.
If you reject that kind of thing
It's also a good idea to get counseling that specializes in marital issues.

Tarako-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

Maybe it's what is commonly called a “period of exhaustion.”

As a way to overcome the “exhaustion period,” an extraordinary production may be required, such as being able to take a step out of the everyday loop and bring fresh feelings to each other and stimulate each other.

I think making time together and changing the way we enjoy being on the go, such as travel/leisure, hobbies, watching movies and music, shopping, etc. Therefore, I think it will be important to confirm each other's bonds and feelings of affection in various ways.

Of course, conversation is of course necessary. Feelings and thoughts will never be conveyed until they are clearly conveyed to the other person through words and actions. I think we should continue to make efforts to communicate as much as possible.

However, I don't think it's okay to ask for too many things from the other person. If it comes back and becomes a burden on the husband, it may have the opposite effect, so you need to be careful about this.

Next... I know there may be various objections, but don't be afraid of misunderstandings... I'm sorry if my way of thinking about humble life is wrong...

As for children... making children in order to maintain a relationship between husband and wife... I think this would be too pitiful for children that would be born in the future.

For example, even if marital relationships go well for a while, things don't really go well ahead, and marital fights are constant, and if they lead to divorce, of course, no one knows what lies ahead, of course, no one knows what lies ahead, but anyway, now, in the current situation, they still love each other, and after fully considering the future and life plans of children, we encourage making children Even though I'm exaggerating that it might not be important to be treated, I know.

I sincerely pray that the couple will have a perfect relationship and that they will also be blessed with children.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

First of all, why don't you consider having a third party join in without having a conversation with just the two of you?
For example, I wonder if counseling or a consultation desk near the “NPO corporation Suicide Prevention Network Style” to which we belong...

“NPO corporation suicide prevention network style” address
http://www.soudannet-kaze.jp/

Do you know the English word for love?
Don't make a fool of me!
You might get scolded.

Yes. Everyone knows LOVE.

I was told about it at a certain place

L LISTEN (listening/listening = listening and listening)
O OBSERVE (see, notice, watch, acknowledge... accept in a broad sense)
V VOICE (speak aloud, talk to each other)
E Forgive/Forgive

First, these 4!
what is it?
what are you asserting in such a bossy manner
Please don't say that, put it into practice.
I have also entered my fourth year of marriage. Your wife is probably the same age as you, isn't she?

Let's hide anything, it's also my practice.
I also almost cry when I hit a wall every day.
It makes me want to raise my voice and curse at each other. I've done it over and over again.

What is a wall
They only come to people who can do it.
It only comes to people who have the potential to be surpassed.
So, when there's a wall
I think it's an opportunity.

These are Ichiro's words.
I often quote it.

My answer is probably not something that gently envelops you.
However, it is not a signpost for a solution.

However, when I think about you and your husband, I can't even stay there.
My husband is also slightly visible and hidden from the sentence.
I can't help you, I can't fix it.
I just want to be with you.
That's how I feel.

Nice to meet you, Tarako.
I'm single, so I don't think I can answer marital issues,
I hope Tarako's heart will feel even a little lighter.

Well, that's what the psychologist said.
Women, the closer they get, the more they talk,
It seems that men tend to talk less when they become close.
In other words, cod roe feels like it,
It is human nature that communication between husband and wife does not work well.
There's nothing wrong with Tarako, so don't worry.
Even on “NHK Special Human Body 2: Brain and Mind,” which was broadcast a long time ago
The theme was similar.

　How are you, Tarako?
I also have marital problems. Everyone is bigger or smaller. Why worry? It's probably “compared to others...” (comparison), “being praised by others...” (evaluation), “married couples are like this...” (form), “I didn't think they were like this...” (hate), “I don't like it anymore...” (fatigue), etc. It still seems likely, but I'm so particular about form that I'm worried about evaluations. But sometimes.
First of all, it's natural to worry about Tarako's worries. However, “don't worry all the time.” I want to say that. What bothers me sometimes is when I post to hasunoha (laughs). If what you usually want can be realized even a little, you will be happy, thank your partner, and praise them. Always observe the other person and take a positive view. I'm always tired, so it's okay to take a break once in a while. Maybe it's best for a man to praise or say thank you?! The happy appearance of women is irresistible.
However, it does not lead to immediate results, so patience and persistence are important. Sometimes it's important to take a break (take a break).
Let's start with advice... ♥

My husband and wife used to go out together, but now... I mean, did that happen all of a sudden one day? If that's the case, there might be some reason to avoid it.

Even if it's a married couple, it's hard to say they're a good couple if they're together all the time. If we live together, a reasonable sense of distance between each other may also be important.
My husband and I have completely different hobbies, and we don't really interfere with each other's free time.

Maybe he wants time for himself, even though you want to spend time together. In their 30s, work has also been entrusted, and maybe they just need time to think alone at home ◎

Once in a while, when eating or watching TV, etc., it's a good idea to discuss how to spend time comfortably with each other ~
Men and women have different interests as they age, don't they? At that time, as a married couple, you may notice what kind of distance is comfortable.

Don't be too lonely. He cares about you very much.
So, why don't you tell him how you feel now (*^_^*)

Think of this as a cry to your husband's heart and listen to it.
I had my birthday the other day. My wife is like this to me.
“What would be a good birthday present?” and.
Just here and there
I asked, “(textured face) I want you to live a life with jokes and humor on a regular basis.”
In short, it means that you don't take it seriously on a daily basis and feel free to skip jokes and gags. (^-^) From a man's point of view, the female side is stiff, and when it's dignified, I sometimes feel out of breath.
There's no such thing as being serious about anything. Husbands can spend their time at ease when their wife is distracted.
Not limited to marital relationships, the fact that there are people who have humor between two or three parties is extremely difficult to have a conversation. When it comes to why I asked my wife to do such a thing, there are actually a lot of couples around me recently who have set off for the star of Colin. ※It's about divorce (^-^)
When the relationship between the couple begins to cool down, they will eventually be shaken and frozen by the special rapid train Kamen Couple Silence “Shijima” bound for the northern part of the country. (lol)
What dissolves it is humor, weakness, power, and idiocy (laughs).
Humor is also very helpful in raising children. My parents also had a great sense of humor, so no matter what kind of tough situation I was in, I was able to laugh it off with a gag at the end. Don't friends who are fun to be with also have that kind of carefree, dismissive relationship? Isn't it nice to have that kind of relationship with your partner?
Families that don't look too high and good-looking, have casual relationships, relationships where they are playful with each other on a daily basis will be born from now on, and it will be a cheerful and comfortable place for children to spend time. Why don't you learn techniques that just make guests lose their minds on talk shows? (^-^)

To Tarako-sama

I think the ideal image of a married couple is wonderful.
Tarako's thoughts and feelings were really conveyed from the sentences.

However, since married couples have partners,
I think of course there is an ideal relationship for the other person.

Give your own opinions
How about two people creating an ideal image of a married couple?
There are no answers or mistakes in the relationship that has been formed.
That's because it was decided by the two of us.
Gassho