Is there a Mizuko no Tatari?

Yukiko-sama
I was so worried that I read it.
My name is Tetsuya Urakami.

My father, my mother, my younger brother who is 2 years younger, and myself.
You've had a hard time for many years, and I think you've been able to endure it very well.
Among them, you're worried that the presence of Mizuko, whom you recently learned, might be the cause of Yukiko's “suffering.”

I'm going to talk a little bit about data.
If you look at the temple's past book, many children died from the Edo period to the early Showa period. At one temple, there were 80 funerals in Taisho 14, of which 39 were children's funerals.
In other words, in the past, close to 10 siblings were born, and it was not uncommon for several of them to die before delivery or during childhood.

Water child feeding began to become popular in the Showa 40s. It was around the time Yukiko and I were born. It wasn't that long ago. Around this time, 2 to 5 children are born to a married couple, and most of them grow to adulthood.

Then, fewer people die before delivery or while they are children, and the feeling of feeling sorry for that child becomes relatively strong. Then, it seems that they began to think about real happiness and misfortune by entangling Mizuko.

I think that all the “lives” that have passed away have become equal Buddhas.
Mizuko, whom Yukiko recently met, is also a Buddha. Since we are Buddha, we can only hope for the happiness of living people, and we do not cause unhappiness.

Yukiko's life may be more painful than others. So when you find the reason “Mizuko,” you may feel relieved for a moment. But that's a temporary thing.

Even if you take care of yourself by raising a water child, bad things and good things will always happen again.
It's definitely not a happy life to have doubts that “it's Mizuko's fault” every time something bad happens.

It's going to be painful, isn't it?
However, I want Yukiko to walk through her own life in a dignified manner.
If you have a hard time, please contact us again at hasunoha.

Either way, the negative chain must be broken.
I would like to suggest three solutions.
① Get out of victim consciousness!
The first solution is not to become a victim today. It's about trying not to fall into victim consciousness.
Certainly, it should be said that the environment you are in is a victim's position.
However, if humans have strong thoughts or conceptual images, they may be dominated by those images. The fact that people in disaster-stricken areas also continue to be called disaster-stricken areas leads to a negative image, and efforts are being made not to use the language of being damaged or affected by such damage as much as possible because they are unable to recover.
② Don't look for another cause!
I'm sure it's Mizuko's fault, my father's fault, my grandfather's fault who hunted down my father, it's someone's fault... and I think it makes me want to look for the cause somewhere. It's nobody's fault, and there's no need to blame anyone else.
What is more important than that is not continuing to be controlled by those events that have already ended. Don't let the bad influence you have received from your partner for a long time.
③ Keep your heart far enough away from bad things!
The best way to avoid being adversely affected by your partner is to keep your distance.
Think of bad effects and bad images as odors. When there are no problems on a regular basis, you should treat them normally. When you say “I want you to stop saying bad things like that,” say “I want you to stop saying bad things like that,” and actually stand up and take a spatial distance, or memorize “dodge, don't get involved, avoid” as if it were a spell in your mind, even though you were usually influenced by Moro.
I think you'll be aware that until now, you've been too deeply involved because of your love for your family.
People who are kind are resolute no matter how much verbal poison gas their partner emits from their mouths.
Here is a quick summary of the above three points
① I'm not addicted to victim consciousness
② Don't blame anyone
③ I'll keep my distance. ^_^

If you know that Mizuko exists, please do a memorial service.
However, it's probably not going to be just one troupe.
After all, so much time has passed...

“Mizuko curses”... as long as you do a proper memorial service, you won't be cursed.
However, even if you don't do any memorial service just because you have passed away, it's not that convenient to attain Buddhism, etc.
A memorial service is always necessary.

Now, I wonder if the relationship between Mizuko's point and that of the question asked this time is weak...
As Tange Kakugen says
① I'm not addicted to victim consciousness
② Don't blame anyone
③ Keep your distance
I was definitely encouraged by these 3 points to hold a memorial service for Mizuko, which was discovered this time,
Also, I know that if you can receive counseling yourself, things can be improved little by little.

Yukiko

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

There is always a cause for the results of things and things in this world of phenomena.

It's called the “theory of causality,” and we can also deduce the cause by logical thinking such as deduction and induction methods to some extent. Once the cause is known, I think it is possible to change future results by solving and dealing with the cause. This time, blaming the cause on a supernatural or mystical “curse” is a kind of escape from reality, and I hope you can think that it will not be solved at all.

Epilepsy is a “cranial nerve disease” (congenital/acquired), and alcoholism is a “mental illness,” and appropriate medical prescriptions for improvement are required.

The father's behavior during childhood seems to be infant abuse/DV... and since Yukiko actually has deep “heartbreak” and “trauma” due to its effects, and its adverse effects can still be considered, it may be necessary to receive psychological counseling once...

Happiness and unhappiness are made up of our relative comparative value judgments; for example, from the perspective of those who have not been married, they may not be happy even if they are married; if viewed from the perspective of those who are not blessed with children, they may be happy just having children, and people with a long life expectancy may say that they are happy even if they just live a healthy life. Happiness and misfortune cannot be determined unequivocally.

In Buddhism, in this world dominated by suffering, suffering, and suffering, at the end of the day, it is “all suffering,” and we are required to walk the path of “true happiness = enlightenment” without being bound by the Eight Laws (gain, loss, praise, blame, honor, slander, ease, suffering) in the world.

http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/一切皆苦

Along with accepting the reality of this “suffering,” the question is how we should work to move towards a good place. First of all, as a reality right in front of you, I know that along with prescriptions and support for appropriate improvements for yourself, your father, brother, and husband, along with doing your best to raise children as much as possible, if you can afford it, you can also make an effort for Mizuko's memorial service and good deeds to bring good results.

I sincerely pray for good deeds.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

My brother's epilepsy is congenital.
My father's drinking is a problem, isn't he?
It's verbal violence.
Also, mothers who force it on their daughters are also a problem.
I wonder if they grew up in such a difficult environment
Nor is it possible to grow healthily.
If you don't remember well, it can't be helped.
I think you need counseling yourself, too.
You also need to reconsider your relationship with your parents.
Are you going to treat your father's alcoholic health?
I don't think I'll be treated honestly.
Also, I think it's better to keep a distance from your relationship with your mother.
It's also a good idea to talk to the government.
Talk to someone you trust.

You've been forced to put up with it again in a difficult environment, haven't you?
I think my mom was full too. I guess I've spoiled you too much. It must have been hard for you as a kid.

From now on, let's take care of ourselves while keeping a distance from our father.
Spend time with your husband and kids slowly ♬ It's okay! You're happy (*^_^*)

It's Mizuko... It's not called Mizuko in the Jodo Shinshu sect. No matter what kind of life it is, even a life that wasn't born into this world, it is a precious Buddha that connects to who I am today. There's no need to think of it as a curse. It's a life you know now, but let's accept that the Buddha has been created to watch over and support you from now on. And I think putting our hands together would be a way to respond to that life, the Buddha.

To Yukiko

You've had a lot of experiences, and you must have had a hard time.
However, I would like you to review them one by one.
The meaning of that event.

And about my parents, my father, and my mother.

each one probably has a different feeling
It may happen.
Please follow that feeling. Gassho

By the way, if Mizuko-san's memorial service is well done
I don't think that's the case.