About my son who died

I'm very sorry about this.
Furthermore, I apologize for your sister's loss of heart.

Well, it is said that the remains of your son are at hand,
First of all, please consult with the family temple at your older sister's parents' house.
I think that was the first one.

Thank you for your loss, Popo and your sister.
I'm guessing the two of you will never run out of sorrow.
I'm not going to talk about shape, but about feeling.

I think there are various memorial services, but that person's
Look back on your life, understand its feelings and thoughts,
I think one memorial service is to give them empathy and resonance.
What happened when you entered the facility?
And what kind of life did they live after that
What kind of feelings and ways of thinking were they?
If you capture that feeling, you will be freed from the regrets of this world
I think it's possible to attain Buddhism.
The older child, the facility that took care of you, the people involved, etc.
Why don't you ask a lot of people about that person?

　I understand how you feel that your beloved son has passed away. When you're sad, you don't want to do anything, but please be sure to hold a funeral to overcome your grief.
I think this question is based on popo's subjectivity, so I'm going to answer it. Since attaining Buddhism is just a Buddhist term, relatives and acquaintances say, “Have the Osho at the temple do the funeral.” It's just that it might happen because they say things like that, and now freedom of religion is guaranteed by the Constitution, so if you don't have a family temple, I think it's okay to have a funeral in the religion your older sister believes in. I think it's a good idea to talk to a so-called funeral director or talk to someone you can trust. Since it can be economical, it is also necessary to hold a funeral that is reasonable. Being a mourner will be really difficult, and I think the older sister who is alone will be depressed, so please support Popo well.
The older sister still has a reunion with her older son who has grown up, so please don't lose hope.

I read your question. Being ahead of your child is deeply sad.

I think it's important for older sisters to have relationships with temples, put their hands together, and encounter teachings in order to come to terms with their son's death in the future.

It is best to consult directly with the affiliated temple you have a relationship with and have them guide you in a good direction for the future and the remains.

Having them come and visit the temple and hear from now on will be the way for an older sister who is in the midst of sorrow and hesitation to be saved.

Gassho

Popo-sama
Nice to meet you, my name is Tetsuya Urakami.

My older sister's son passed away at a young age, and I know everyone is in the midst of grief. Among them, I think the older sister's grief is particularly deep.

There was a saying, “The dead body is now being kept under my sister,” but does that mean that the body or remains of the younger son is in the older sister's hands? Also, since there was “no kaima yet,” does that mean they haven't had a wake funeral? It seems like there are complicated circumstances.

It seems that you are worried about attaining Buddhism, but please don't worry. No matter how he dies, the Buddha will not abandon him. More than that, I'm worried about my sister right now.

I think the person who can snuggle up to you the most right now is Popo. One thing I want to ask is that I want you to make my older sister really sad. As a younger sister, it can be painful to watch my older sister feel sad. However, encouraging words such as “If you're so sad, you won't be able to think of anyone who died” will prevent you from being truly sad. I think facing grief head-on will lead to emotional recovery later on.

You don't need to hurry about the kaima or memorial service. Please carefully search for a good temple or a reliable monk, and then consult with us.

Popo-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

I know how much you are heartbroken about the second son of Popo's older sister... I sincerely pray for the souls of the second son.

I also know that funerals are important milestone ceremonies for people who have not been given any precepts or ordinances during their lifetime, and they will once again receive a definite Buddha relationship, and they will continue to walk firmly in Buddhism from now on. I believe in and adhere to Buddhism, and if you are a Buddhist and would like to receive guidance to enlightenment and nirvana according to the Buddha's teachings, it is likely that there are various circumstances, but I know that as much as possible, you will receive a formal funeral, or memorial service in a similar format, and even a memorial service and merit conversion later.

To that end, as Nakata and Mitsumi said, I think it would be a good idea to first consult with the family temple at your older sister's parents' house, and if your parents' house doesn't have a reliable connection with the family temple, it's far away and difficult, etc., so it's probably a good idea to consult with a temple you have a relationship with your relatives or close relatives.

Even so, if there are no names of temples to consult with, I know that it would be nice to consult with Daihorinji Temple and Taguchi Manabu, who has been kind and respected in Oita Prefecture.

If you are Master Taguchi Gakuhō, I'm sure you will be kind enough to listen to my story and give you accurate advice.

The address of Daihorin-ji Temple's website is listed below, so please refer to it, and if you would like to discuss it, I would appreciate it if you could contact us by phone beforehand.

http://daihourin.com/

I sincerely hope that the suffering hearts of not only the second son but also the older sister, Popo, will be healed by the good Buddha relationship in the future.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

Please think more about that...

For children born by choosing a father and mother, living apart is the saddest and saddest thing in the world.

I'm sure there was a reason why I couldn't help but do that. However, now that we are facing the death of our child, we must say that precisely because we want them to embrace their dignity.

I'm the director of a kindergarten preschool.
I'm very sorry.

Think back to your two children 20 years ago.

and
If you think “attaining Buddhahood = good condition,” don't think “I haven't attained Buddhism”...

The older sister worked to the bone, saving her life and protecting her child.
It didn't turn out the way I wanted, but it certainly did.

That's why I want them to attain Buddhism. It's a natural emotion.
Sadly, we humans are unable to make others attain Buddhahood. It is the Buddha's job to make them attain Buddhahood.

So, please just single-mindedly recite the Buddha's name. Please recite Nembutsu.
The deceased child is in the midst of that trembling voice.

No matter what time, place, or state of death, and no matter how many people grieve that person, there is only one job for Amida Nyorai. It's about making sentient beings (troubled people) be born (moved) into the Pure Land (safe state).

Find a place where it is easy for all bereaved families to recite Nembutsu as soon as possible.
Please wrap your child up with nembutsu.

I feel sorry for all the requests.

To popo-sama

I understand your sister's feelings.
About the older sister's son memorial service
First, is there a family temple?
This is the temple where my older sister's ancestors are sleeping.
Or are there any temples that have ties to it?
I hope you can go there and talk to the chief priest.

Please consider it. Gassho