Is marriage the cause of poor health?

My physical condition is better than before... but now I'm having a hard time with my husband. I felt that marriage was not the cause of poor health, but rather that accumulated dissatisfaction was depressing. After 8 years of hard work, I finally got just one bag at home... I certainly don't think I'm convinced of that. I can't even forgive him for telling a lie. Above all, kids don't like it.

However, if you stand on your husband's side, it may be said that if you have a newly built house, it's most economical to live there, and that doesn't mean that's not because you like scary faces. Isn't it a very natural reaction of children that they don't like parents coming to school? Furthermore, when night life is denied, it is a shocking event where men's confidence fluctuates from the ground up depending on the person.

Don't put up with it. It would be difficult if you put up with it and couldn't work. So, since they had a great relationship and became a married couple, why don't you first write on paper that you don't want to put up with it, and then talk to your husband once and for all. Please be spoiled by your kind husband and ask her to listen to Moe-san's requests.

Surprisingly, however, my husband may also be writing his dissatisfaction on paper around this time. I'm sure they've been putting up with it in the same way...

Moe-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

I was a little relieved to hear that my physical condition was better than before and that I was able to return to work.

In marital relationships, the balance of supporting, helping, and sharing is important. Therefore, if this balance does not seem to be well maintained, it will become difficult to continue the relationship. This loss of balance can be considered as a major cause of Moe-sama's dissatisfaction and stress. However, can it be said that only the husband is the cause... I think it is necessary to think about this a little more carefully.

There is the term “one water, four views” in one of the ideals of Buddhist thought. It is said that even one thing or thing appears as something completely different depending on who sees it, and as a famous poem that expresses this, there is “If you do a hand, the bird will take off, the koi will drop by, and Sarusawa's pond with tea.”

When I hit the pond in Sarusawa in Nara, the bird was surprised and took off, and the koi came by saying that they could get food, and the daughter in the teahouse carries tea because tea was desired... showing that even one act can be caught in a completely different way.

This is similar to “projection” in psychology, and it means that the way we look at things and things changes with each emotion and state of mind.

I think Moe-sama got married because of her husband's particularly kind feelings and good feelings. At that time, you could only see the good parts of your opponent, and you probably couldn't see the bad points, but when you start to notice the bad points this time, on the contrary, you can only see the bad parts, and it is conceivable that the good points are completely invisible. Therefore, it is thought that they have already denied everything, and even reached the feeling that they have no choice but to break up.

As a way to deal with it, I think it is also necessary to change yourself so that you can look at your partner with positive emotions and mentality that changes your way of thinking so that you can look at the other person with a positive emotion and mentality that changes your way of thinking so that you can make use of it in a negative way, look at the other person as much as possible, praise and develop those good points, and make use of them to benefit yourself.

I recommend that Moe-sama actively changes here, and by taking a good attitude and a spoiled attitude towards her husband, you can make your partner feel more at ease, make them more gentle, and have fun and at ease yourself.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

We've been married for six months. Even though you're still a newlywed, don't you want to look at their faces anymore?
I wonder if there is a major cause?
Somehow they got married, but did they get together just because of momentum?

Children are watching their parents a lot. The couple should have a thorough discussion before the mother's poor health affects the child. What are you dissatisfied with, and how do you feel? Debts are also important, aren't they? Also, don't be one-sided and listen to what your husband says.

He was a kind person who accepted you and your child, wasn't he?
Why did the kid suddenly start to hate it? ... Let's sort out our feelings and convey our current thoughts.

There are many forms of marriage, but if you don't trust your partner, they won't last. Is it okay to leave my feelings as it is? If you don't tell them properly, it's going to be tough ~ let's put it into words ◎

Moe-sama
I'm Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.

Last time we had a discussion about work. It is said that he went back to work after that.
But right now, you're suffering over your husband, aren't you?

A monk I respect says this when asked to give a speech at a wedding.
“Marriage is a good thing. This is because some lovers think “he (she) can understand me this much,” but as they live together, they realize “doesn't the husband (wife) understand themselves this much,” and the true nature of human beings comes into view. So marriage is a good thing.”

Maybe Moe-san and he are now entering the time to become a real couple. No matter what kind of couple or parent and child, it is impossible for them to always be happy. I think they will deepen their relationship while overcoming trials.

As mentioned in the speech above, people surprisingly don't understand others. So please calm down and take time to have a thorough discussion.

　Hello, Moe-san. It seemed like they were talking about me other than my husband's debts, and I was a little excited.
For now, I think my husband works too, so let's start by paying off the debt. After that, it's not too late to think about the future. (Is it too late?)
Women want perfection in everything in their partner. There is also a tendency to talk about my hardships as if they were amazing. Let's put these 2 points aside once and deal with my husband. Women are basically hard workers when it comes to themselves. But that makes me want the same things from others as I do. Somehow I get married to a man who has good things that I don't have. Are you hoping you'll learn it too? It makes me look forward to it. That was Moe-san's husband's kind heart. (Isn't that right?)
Moe-san is spoiled by her husband's kindness. That's why it's frustrating. I feel like what kids don't like is simply having a dull face. Children are pure, but not so simple. It takes time for both men and women to have a crush on a remarriage partner in six months, and it is difficult. At first the child rebels. If you have a kind husband, I'm sure your kids will understand. After that, Moe-san doesn't speak ill of her husband or complain in front of her children, and that is the only thing she treats her with a favorable attitude. Taking time is as difficult as buying a new home.
80% of my experiences are advice that is hardly helpful, but I'm praying that they will build a happy family.

There is no end to watching The Bad.
Because he's a man, he also has a role to play. Try searching for good places only 3 times every day.
As Master Kawaguchi also said, please try to see only the good side, positive side, effective side, useful side, good side ❝ ❞ that he is useful to you as much as possible.
And please acknowledge it properly.
That alone makes men even better husbands.
It's also important to “do this” appeal, get recognition, and praise yourself.
It is only when such things are done without being ashamed that they become a bright couple with no secrets.
It's a good idea to make some kind of Iifufu ordinance before Iifufu Day on November 22nd. (lol)
It's easy being alone as a woman.
But what does getting married mean
① It's also important to understand the opposite sex.
② It's also important to respond to what the opposite sex wants at least somewhat.
③ Since men are in the position of father, husband, and parent's child, and women are each provided with the positions of wife, mother, and parent's child, as options, it is also important to understand their own struggles and hardships.
④ Men praise women for how difficult housework is, women praise men for how difficult their work is, and acknowledging each other is a trick for satisfying the other person's desire for approval and making each other think “oh, I'm glad you stayed” and “I'm glad you got married.”

Conclusion The path of Iifufu and Iihufu is to spare no effort to make each other popular, needed, and happy from their partner.

“I also found out that I was in debt, and if I had known, I wouldn't have gotten married.”
“My husband brought one bag to the house he had a hard time buying”
And yet
“Somehow I got married”

Isn't there a problem around here?

To Moe-sama

In the sentence,
“Kids don't like their husbands coming to school events either.”
I don't like my mother, so it can't be helped...
You can't change a person's face. However, the contents can be changed.
There are even people who say that a person's face is a mirror that represents the inside and heart.
However, it is true that they are two people who got along and became a married couple.

How can I not get frustrated?
Should I ask them to stop looking scared?
if you don't even want to think about it
We must be willing to think about the following.

After all, as everyone says
Isn't it important that the two of us talk once?
Why don't you show off your feelings up until now. Gassho