About funeral expenses I paid during my lifetime.

Most of the money you pay to a temple is an “offering.”
An offering is a donation that doesn't ask for anything in return.
If you pay as a donation, it's not a price you pay in exchange for a service.

If you are asked to return something you've donated once, I think the temple may have trouble managing it.
Also, there is a possibility that the fact that they asked for a funeral and then stopped is likely to be thought of as selfish convenience on the counselor's side.
Even though I asked, “I'll stop it after all.”
Even though I made a donation, “please return it after all.”
What if my grandson “returns” the donation that my grandmother put in the convenience store cash register donation box a few days later.
I can understand the circumstances, but after being aware that this is a pretty rude story,
Let's ask the temple to refund the money as if it were bad.
In the first place, that money probably belongs to your grandmother, not yours.
Didn't my grandmother want to ask for a favor at that temple?

　I don't know the details, but even if a funeral is held at a facility, I don't think what is necessary is a “venue fee.” You must need something to give to the monk. I think it would be appropriate for the monk who paid the offering to do the funeral.

Note that what you pay to the temple is an “offering,” and not in return for sutras. My grandmother paid it to the temple as an offering. The idea of a “refund” is not compatible with the spirit of giving.

First, let's check the chief priest in detail what kind of promises he made with his grandmother.
As a result, if that money is fully donated, I don't think requesting a refund is normal.
However, if it was an offering for the commandment name and the commandment was not given, a refund would be possible.
Also, if that money is alms and funeral expenses (coffin fees, funeral hall setup costs, cremation expenses, etc.), I think it is possible to refund the amount obtained by deducting funeral expenses from that amount.
Or, if it's an offering for the sake of the Kajime, and you weren't given the kyo name, I think you can get a refund for the kyo name.
If the chief priest is easy to break with, let that lawyer step in between.

I won't give it to either of them, so I'll speak from a neutral standpoint.
First of all, I think there is a difference between your sense of money “payment/PAY” and the old woman who passed away's “payment” and “payment to protect her religious heart.”
It's rude to say this, but since the deceased's money is the deceased's money, I think bereaved families should refrain from this kind of thing from now on.
It's not your money.
The old woman paid the grandmother's money as an offering to the temple of her own will.
I think the “Buddhist spirit” that old women had is completely different from the principle of convenience, convenience supremacy, and convenience that is often seen in modern people.
I don't think the protagonist is the deceased, not you.
I think there is something called dignity that is more important than money.
Today, the temple industry itself is misunderstood due to public news and rampant dispatch services and memorial services that discredit religious beliefs, etc., but in the first place, an offering is not a “memorial fee/funeral fee.” The name also varies depending on the temple, but temples spread the Buddhist spirit and work to dilute human selfishness and ego. Humans will inevitably collide with each other if we live from our own perspective.
Although it is a difference in senses and sensitivities, it is surprising... that grandchildren can return the money that the grandmother saved in order to be used by the temple during her lifetime to help with religious activities.
I would like to be able to hear the old woman's voice.
Even if I get it back through an attorney, it makes me wonder what it would be like as a person.
What the old woman even tried to do by paying one million yen to the temple was that you said, “It's my own. it's my own. It's ours.” Why don't you think that they are taking that heart away?
It means making an offering to a temple or making a donation, and it is also a reprimand for temples that have watched over their ancestors for many years, and it is also to spread a sense of religion to the world. It's not a funeral fee or a surname fee. I think modern people's sense of money called payment/PAY and the feeling of trying to refund donations paid as activity expenses in order to protect the spirit of cherishing something more important than money as a human being would be lamented if the old woman who passed away was alive.
Even if you don't take care of that temple due to the circumstances of your generation, I think you should respect the old woman's will and will as dignity.