Marriage to a self-employed person

Thank you for your support.

I received a marriage proposal from the guy I've been in a relationship with for many years.
It's more of a form of consultation than an application.

He is self-employed by himself.
As a condition of marriage, they want them to quit my current job and run the business together.
A few years ago, he and his father started it, but his father passed away.
It's like being alone holding something big and full of anxiety.

First, I don't want to quit because I love the job I'm doing now.
Also, income from self-employment is unstable, so my idea is that people who have another income can feel mentally safe.
His work is in a developing stage, and it may or may not continue to get better.
Earnings at the moment are not very good.

My job can be switched to shorter working hours, so I can help him become self-employed.
I want them to be convinced by that.
I've been in a relationship with him for 6 years and I feel like I'm compatible.

As for him, he wouldn't be able to take it seriously if I had a separate job, so he still wants me to quit.
They are prepared to fall apart and they want to manage it together.
It is said that if you can't do that, it's better to break up.
However, we both have feelings that we want to be together, so now we are in a situation where we are persuading each other.

I'm now at an age where I want to get married and have children.
If the conditions don't seem to be met, isn't that the person of destiny?
It makes me sad to think about breaking up with my close boyfriend.
However, I'm very worried because I'm full of anxiety about taking all of his conditions, getting married, and living.

4 Zen Responses

As a general rule, I don't agree with marriage

I don't know what kind of work he does, how much risk there are, and what his intentions will be if he succeeds and gets back on track, so I'll give you a general theory.

Currently, apart from public servants, etc., it is an age where we don't know what will happen tomorrow, so it can be said that it is safer for married couples to have different jobs. So I think your idea is more realistic.

After talking a lot, I think it would be nice if the conversation progressed in the direction of getting married in the form that you continue with your current job.

You want to marry that guy, right?

What Mea says here makes perfect sense. Therefore, please persuade him by seriously telling him about this, “because I want to have a safe marriage.”

Can't we just think about it after we get married?

I think it's okay to think about changing jobs after getting married and watching his work situation up close.
Self-employed people are busy with work all day long, and there are also people in a situation where they don't even have a day off.
If the workplace is far from where you live, those who work together will have time as a couple.
After getting married, if the feeling of “I want to spend more time together” becomes stronger, or if you yourself become interested in his work, there is also a possibility that you will naturally want to change jobs.

Also, if his job is understaffed, will he need to hire an employee if you don't help him?
You may also need to balance your salary with the labor costs you pay to your employees.
From now on, due to the declining birthrate, every industry will be in an era of labor shortages.
In the case of small to medium businesses, if employment conditions are not improved, there is a possibility that employees will not come easily.

If you don't have enough hands, get employees

I think it would be a good idea to honestly express your feelings. If you just don't have enough work, why not hire another employee to help you. Even a part-time job is fine.
If you get married, your work is on track, and you think you should help out too, why don't you do it?
If you get married and have children, it won't be a place to work. It's probably where he can stand up. Please encourage him as a supporter of the shadow part and heart.

← all dialogues ← previous next →