hasunoha

Visit your marriage partner's grave

It's been a little over a year since we got married. I visited my husband's grave at my parents' house three times in the past year, such as the end of the year, Obon, and Ohigan. My parents-in-law also seem to take it for granted that I go visit my husband's grave.

However, my husband never came to visit my parents' grave. We took it for granted that we would go to each other, but that wasn't the case with my husband and parents-in-law.
I've already married and become a member of the ○○ (husband's surname) family, so it's natural for me to come.
The graveyard visit at the △△ (my maiden name) family is an event for the △△ family, so I think it's a bit different for ○○ to go there. I was told...

I couldn't say that to my real mother, so my husband and I went to visit graves properly, so I went there alone.
It's not just this, but isn't it too unequal?? Don't you think my husband's idea is strange? I can't help it because I'm a wife, because I'm a wife. I'm tired of listening to it...

4 Zen Responses

I'm not talking about unfair

I never get tired of hearing it, but that's what a bride is.
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On the other hand, it is outrageous to throw a visit to the grave at the wife's parents' house as an “event at the parents' house.”
If you feel like making a memorial service, you will naturally be tempted to walk away.
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Every month, I go to my wife's parents' house for her ancestors. I have a feeling that my ancestors spun so many lives so far, and thanks to that, I was able to meet my wife.
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I know that the ancestral memorial service at my wife's parents' house shows my wife's dignity.

Speaking of which, something similar happened at my house.

Good evening.
Just because you got married doesn't mean you own a house, does it?
The sense of incongruity doesn't go away even if one-sided conventions or things are brought up, right?

Speaking of which, a long time ago, there was something similar at my house.
I visited my wife's grave at my parents' house, but there was a time when I was dissatisfied that my maternal grandmother didn't go with me to visit her grave.
But recently, my wife also visited the Buddhist altar at my parents' house, but I haven't been to the grave in a while

I'm not going because it's obvious,
Because people who don't know the wife “take care” of things that your husband takes for granted,
Visiting graves at home is possible.

It's not good to use it here at Hasunoha, and I'm thankful for that.
I appreciate that it's an obvious antonym.

If you think that it works only when the human mind passes through, not just the rules of the premise,
Why don't you ask about the obvious route, but the route you're thankful for.
For instance,
I want to make it a point that I don't know my wife myself go visit graves at my parents' house with my husband.
Wouldn't it be great if you also took care of the things I care about?
and so on.

A relationship where they became a married couple due to some kind of relationship.
I pray that we can walk close to each other so that graves don't get as far away as our house.

Being asked to refuse is something that gets caught

Certainly, if the husband I'm married to says there's no need to go all the way to visit the grave in the bride's village, I also feel like it's not necessary.
However, if you visit graves when you go to your parents' house together, there's no harm in following them and praying together.
There's no reason why you have to be proactive, and there's probably no reason to refuse to the extent that you are asked to refuse.
Daring to say no to that would be tempting, isn't it?
For example, isn't your husband hesitant to go to your parents' house together rather than visiting the grave itself?
Also, if you are someone who is afraid of the dead or spirits, isn't there a possibility that you feel that the graves of your relatives are fine, but the graves of people who aren't related by blood are disgusting?
Well, there's no need to force them to go.
It's enough if you pray.

The Last Samurai Mage Thought

Excuse me from Sayama, an unexplored region of Japan's living fossil Saitama.
Then, my name is Kakunoshin Tange, the last samurai from Saitama Inakabe Village.
An acquaintance got married to this Sayama farmhouse from Edo (Tokyo), and when they were doing farm work in an extremely stylish, high-collar style, my mother-in-law said, “That's not suitable for farm work! Shimamu!” There is a horrible story where they received strict attention and were given 20,000 yen and ordered to buy cute clothes at Fashonsenta “Shimamura,” which the locals love.
The people of Saitama have a sense of inland ethnicity that is deeply rooted in the subconscious, so I'm afraid. (Pontka)
If you're about to put out trash the day before in Edo, it's eight minutes from the village. In Saitama, there is a vague sense of daring to put it out the day before. The fact that the locals were able to take out their trash from the day before because of this is also a good part of the Saitama countryside culture.
There must be a mysterious culture and system that has been handed down since ancient times in the place of marriage, Osaka.
However, there are some cool and positive aspects of the yome system.
In the Yome system, the assets in the house on the danna side will eventually become yours no matter what you do.
There is also a positive aspect of women being protected by the yome system.
Now, you might think of it as the Last Samurai culture like huge stone money, senbakoki, and chonmage. The first thing to do is look at the good side and feel the benefits.
We find value where we are blessed.
I also think that “getting married from a married wife” is already old in this day and age.
If you have any questions about that system, it's fine to speak up and insist on it. But without fighting.
Because they are also the Last Samurai.
They thought it was an ethnic group that had inherited the idea of illusory (futile).
There's a better way.
Mague (the house's unique idea) seems to be bent from the beginning, but there is no need to bend it any further from that shape.
When it bends, it becomes uneven, and the navel also bends. Magenosutairu is different depending on the house. We will determine how to put that magic in order to look good and make you happy.
Being able to relax yourself so that Alji's magenta, whistles, and belly buttons don't bend is also a woman's ability. Buddha is perfect in any culture. At Furekiburu Mage, where you can give free rein.
Try giving up the feeling that you want to give up to your opponent first, and that feeling of trying to stand up for something.