I'd like to forgive you, though. How do you deal with conflict?

About having my son as a single parent.
Your son will eventually become your strong ally. Please believe it.
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About my feelings for my ex-husband.
The result is divorce.
Leave all the thoughts that are unnecessary for the happiness of your son and you here and now.
I'll take care of everything left.

To put it in a way that there is no question of right or wrong, it is “do you have abilities or not?”
I think what he did to you and your child was a bad thing.
But that was the limit of his ability.
In other words, there was no room in my head or mind, and I was tempted, and it only had that much capacity.
I don't hate him because he's a bad guy.
His mind only had that level of ability.
If you were a smarter person, you could have devised something to protect you and your children from your parents-in-law.
If I had more room in my heart, I should have laughed normally with my wife and wife while whistling no matter what my parents-in-law said to me.
If I had more financial strength, I should have given enough pocket money to my parents-in-law and be able to protect my wife and wife normally.
He must have wanted to do that too.
It's my own child with the person I fell in love with and married, so if it's something I can help, I'll help.
However, he was a man who didn't have that ability.
It wasn't a matter of motivation or guts, and I was overwhelmingly lacking in ability.
He lives a desperate struggle in his own way, but he's a poor idiot who couldn't make his wife and wife happy because he didn't have the ability.
If he cares for his children, get even a small amount of child support.
By receiving child support, children can feel that their bond with their father is connected even if their parents get divorced.

I can't help but worry about people.
The essence of the problem is that I don't like this being said in a bad way; it's painful.
It's when people say bad things about yourself and “feel like something is worn out,” but don't worry, nothing has actually decreased.
“That person must think of me like this”
“That person keeps attacking me”
“That person is belittling me, trying to make me missing, and belittling me”
[Maybe... (-_-;)...]
The uneasy feeling that it might be ↑ is the true source of that worry.
In other words, it's just a state where you can't see the truth between yourself and your partner.
“Right now,” is that person still making 100w bad speech from the speaker directed at you even now that they have opened their mouth wide? Are they still speaking ill of you today like on the town broadcast? No (^<^)
There is only one place where that sound is echoing.
Only within your head.
Certainly, even if your opponent says and acts like that, you are the one who activates the REPLAY function that has been repeated over and over again.
Let's notice that.
Once again, ask yourself a question.
“Is that bad talk still ringing out there as a real thing?” “no”
It's about looking at things correctly and freeing yourself from your own thoughts.
To see correctly is to determine [whether it is actually happening in real time right now, not in the head]. As a result, you will not succumb to bad words or emotional conflicts in the future.

Hachi-san

When it comes to marriage
“I was forced to live a difficult life together, with money demands from my parents-in-law and rants, so much so that I think about suicide every day,”

Even after a divorce
The fact that there is no father
I asked myself if it was good for my son,

Even against my ex-husband
Against myself that I don't want to be happy
I'm being hated by myself.

It was a really painful experience.

As long as I've read the sentence
What is Hachi's sincere personality
I think you're looking back on yourself calmly.

It's against my son
hypothetically,
“I thought it would be better for my son to have a father
I've put up with the difficult environment, and I'm making my son put up with it too.”
I think it would be better to say that alone.

Hachi is also for his son
They probably had no choice but to get divorced.
To people who ask if they are alone
I don't think many people are selfish.

Against my ex-husband
The fact that I can't think [I want you to be happy]
It is said that they hate themselves

Hachi-san
What is the feeling that I wanted my ex-husband to be happy
I probably thought about it because my ex-husband was kind and cared for.
If your responsibilities are changed or if you are cursed and denied
I think it's natural to stop thinking.

I think this is an unforgivable time.
Wouldn't it be better to forgive when you can?

The teaching words are as follows.

“A good heart's occurrence is also good for shukuzen (shukuzen). It's because of the evil act (ashikikoto) and the reason behind the evil act (bad luck).”

The desire to do a good act in modern language translation also arises from countless backgrounds and conditions that promote good, and countless backgrounds and conditions that go beyond thought make bad deeds come to mind.

“When it comes to being treated like a Buddha and being told to an afflicted ordinary man, our long-cherished wishes for other powers are treated as if we were in a daze, and it finally became ridiculous.”

The modern translation Buddha has been looking at us since ancient times and says, “Fool who is swayed by relationships,” so it is accepted that the Buddha's wishes are for us like this, and we can finally feel reliable.

What should I really do
(What does the Buddha wish for himself?)
Please think about it.

See Shinran Buddhism Center