Dating and marriage with a monk

I also joined the Buddhist sect from an ordinary family, so I was initially confused by the fact that “I can't go out, there are no holidays.”
If you marry a monk (especially the chief priest), you will certainly be subject to various restrictions.
I've been married for 7 years and have 2 children, and I rely on both parents to help my children on holidays with memorial services and to stay home when I go out.
Also, depending on the temple, parishioners often come to the temple, and it seems that there are temples where it is difficult to respond.
But on the other hand, I'm always close to my family, so I try to cooperate as much as possible in child-rearing and housework during normal times.
When you marry a monk, I think you'll be able to realize that they “always raise a family together” (*^_^*)

I don't know when the funeral will be held, so I can't go out,
If you are a person who does business on your own, such as having irregular holidays,
I think the conditions are similar.
However, depending on how you do it, something will work.

Also, I have to live with my parents, etc.
I think there may be problems that will come up,
You don't necessarily have to live together.
I have many friends and people who go there.
It makes me think that nothing is difficult, especially since I'm a monk.
Marry a monk! If that person is a good person rather than thinking
Wouldn't it be better to move on with the story?
All of my fellow boys got married normally and are living a normal life.

It's been 12 years since I got married to the temple.
What is the life of a bride at a temple like? I understand the feeling that makes you feel uneasy. Actually, there are a lot of differences depending on the size of the temple, denomination, region, presence or absence of cohabitation, and the amount of work done by the bride. If you do research on his mother's lifestyle, it may be easy to come up with an image.

We are a nuclear family, and my husband and wife work praying.
While being separated is easy, there are also disadvantages. Both parents' homes are far away, so I can't leave my children. It's also difficult to take a long trip with the whole family because I asked my parents to stay away.
It's easy to think that working and living together is difficult without private life, but there are surprisingly many advantages. You can do work and housework at the same time, and there's plenty of time for father and child to interact. Children watch their parents at work and how to be polite to customers up close.
Temples have many sudden schedule changes and there are no complete holidays, but they are good at finding free time and switching feelings of refreshment.
Above all, working at a temple is a very rewarding job that earns sincere appreciation.

No matter what kind of marriage it is, I think there will be confusion that “it was slightly different from what I had imagined.” Is it someone who can be on your side at times like that? Is this someone who can really break down and talk to me? Someone to think with? At the end of the day, what matters is not occupation, but humanity. Let's take a good look.

Temple couples spend twice or three times as much time together as couples who go to work.
It's so much fun to put work, childcare, and housework together, and discuss and share everything.

　◎ Precautions when marrying a monk
① Actually, there are many Mazakon and Fazakon monks. This means that my workplace is a temple and my home. A father is a teacher and pupil, for example. It's often rare to take a wife's side.
② So, although it doesn't come out on the surface, many temple wives are mentally ill.
③ Careless about money. Their values are slightly different from those of ordinary people. The son of the temple is, in a sense, the president's son. There are also places where money is spent out of touch. There is a marked difference between rich and poor between temples, and there are so many monks who do side jobs. I'm poor.
④ Form various circles (youth associations, chief priests associations, preacher associations, etc.), hold study sessions, and always hold social gatherings. So, the amount of money spent on it is ridiculous. Membership fees, participation fees, congratulations. Year-end party every week in December. It can't be helped because they place importance on relationships between temples.
⑤ 70% of wedding receptions are for monks. Over 100 people will celebrate. There is no shortage of congratulatory money. Similarly, the cost of a wedding is unreasonable. I was prepared to be complained and reduced the number of guests, the bride and groom, in half to around 80 people. Surprisingly, there were no complaints.
⑥ The wife does a lot of work at the inauguration ceremony and funeral of the chief priest. Most wives have seen nothing but tempers. Even when I'm in trouble, no one is too busy to help me. I really can't rely on my husband.
⑦ Participation in kimono, tea ceremony, flower arrangement, women's meetings between temple wives, and women's meetings for believers. Once children are born, PTA is the chief priest's job. Surprisingly, the chief priest of a temple often becomes PTA president. My mentor also served as PTA president for elementary school and middle school when my younger brother became older.
There's still more, but that's all for today.

I wonder if the point is that there will be a monk. An interesting and mysterious world of monks. Once you experience it, you'll be surprisingly addicted to it. But no matter where you get married, everyone has the same problems. However, there is a huge difference between doing it after knowing and not knowing. By the way, I've seen the above, so I'm trying to do the opposite as much as possible. I have to take good care of my wife. because a stranger in red got married. You're nervous, aren't you?
※This is just my research. No, you might see some monks who say it's different, but that's not bad. Think of it as a little bit of a bad boy. It's up to you whether you believe it or not.

I strongly agree with Mr. Hirano. Although it was dry, they thought about you properly and answered without covering it up. It's so amazing that I can't write more than that.
Gump, who joined the military in Forrest Gump's scene, asked the instructor, “Why did you join this team!?” “Hi! It's to obey the instructor!!” “Great answer! You're a genius!” There's a laughable scene called.
Those who can immediately follow the unspoken rules of the industry are geniuses.
Otera is also hopeful behind the scenes that such a bride will come.
Every industry has its bad and good sides.
The trick to life is to enjoy only that positive side.
This is because what is good and bad is only as bad as it is convenient for me.
Don't forget that temples are semi-public facilities.
The buildings etc. belong to a corporation, and there is no personal property.
Rather than the chief priest, the actual authority of a temple is the temple's former wife (mother in law) who has shadow power.
I'm bowing down in awe by calling the temple's wife Mr. 00 like Ooku, like Mr. Hoshuin or Mr. Tentoku-in. (-_-;) hehe
The most important thing for you to enter a temple is for you to respect and respect the ◎ ◎ temple.
“YES ○○-in-sama!” “Hi ♡ Mother-in-law Sama” This preparation is basic & everything.
“The younger generation prioritizes only their own values... and they only think about themselves...” If I had to say, I'm an amateur in human terms.
For example, I know brides who get married to farmers or self-employed families and don't listen to the teachings and sayings of their predecessors, and are said in a bad way.
This is probably the case in any industry, but it would be nice if the husband had the ability to completely take the wife's side and protect her due to the love triangle between the daughter-in-law's mother-in-law, but since the son of the temple has usually been tied to the temple since they were small, they often don't raise their heads up to their parents. If the previous chief priest is doing well, the job is only to assist the chief priest, and the deputy chief priest who is an official candidate will lose their motivation and go only to local activities and industry activities. In that sense, people who choose people who aren't active in the Osho industry will stay with them. On the other hand, if the husband is doing well and is fine when he is away, that's fine too.
The curator at the temple who took care of me said, “If you don't like it, you can do it.” In a nutshell, “can you like it?” I think that's all.

Fumi-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

It is said that they are worried about their relationship or marriage with a monk.. We already have a variety of helpful answers, but only a little bit since my humble life...

When it comes to dating or getting married to a monk, one is that there will be more opportunities to be given to a “Buddha relationship,” and it will also be a good opportunity to gain merits and a good cause while coming into contact with Buddhism, and I think it will be a wonderful thing indeed.

If possible, I hope that in addition to falling in love with your partner, you can also fall in love with the Buddha and Buddhism.

However, if you do get married, temples are still a special environment/form that has religious and public benefits, so I'm refraining from doing various things I should be careful about, as Oitetsu and Mr. Tange said. Studying Buddhism and principles, learning various manners, helping, assisting, and dealing with legal affairs, affairs, and events, balancing housework and childcare, dealing with visitors and consultations, daughter-in-law issues, etc...

The daughter-in-law problem in particular... actually, “you got married in a temple”... and... oops...

Well, anyway, you'll be in a position where you have to worry about the public eye, so you may have a little shortness of breath.

However, even if there are various difficulties, I know that it is okay if there is only “something” that can be overcome.

For example, the strength of a bond with the other person or feeling of love is fine, and even better, being able to feel gratitude and gratitude for being involved with the Buddha, and even better, it is even more wonderful when it leads to a situation where healing and salvation can be provided indirectly and directly to those who are lost and suffering through the Buddha.

If Fumi were to actually marry a monk, I think it would be a good idea to aim not only for our own happiness and happiness for our relatives and family members, but also for creating such a temple and family where happiness can be given to many people through Buddhism.

I sincerely pray for Fumi's happiness.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho