I'm sandwiched between my wife and parents

　Hello Take-san. The year is coming to an end, but due to time reasons, this problem will inevitably go beyond the year. In conclusion, I basically think I should adopt my wife's opinion in such a case. This is because a stranger in red crosses the threshold of one's own house. My husband is the only ally.
However, since we are in an environment rich enough to buy a house, it is better to set a goal of solving this problem until the consumption tax goes up. The daughter-in-law (uncle) problem becomes protracted when they get into a dispute. It also leaves dark shadows on children.
In the end, I think it's better to choose a method that is easy to do, or rather affordable.
Let me say this at this time, but often discuss this kind of question with your parents and wife. There is a person who says that, but I don't have any trouble with my husband who stands in between.
I've put it together like this.
① Isn't it good for discussions to be democratic? However, even if you look at the Diet, in the end, no matter what opinions they give, the ruling party wins. We don't need meetings or discussions like this. It is structured so that those with strong power, those with strong voice, and those with many allies win.
② It's impossible to take time between opinions. They both say that their opinions are correct, so those who express their opinions can say whatever they want. No compromise is possible.
③ So the only thing you should do is report it to your parents. “... as above, my husband and I did it this way. Thank you for your support.” That's good. My parents threaten me like I'm worried, but you should listen attentively. Parents have experienced a lot of rebellious periods of their children, so no matter what is said now, there is no particular problem...
④ Furthermore, as long as you pass your own opinions, you must also consider the risks of losing and struggling. If I lived at my parents' house, I asked my parents to raise the child and enjoyed my wedding anniversary without getting into the water, but since I left, it became difficult to ask for it, and extra expenses such as daycare centers were incurred.
⑤ Live together with your parents' house or build a house on a two-family house or site. Rent with the assumption that you will be separated, condominiums, or returning to your parents' house. There are 2 or more options, but if you write down your strengths and weaknesses in a notebook once, it's very convenient for communicating future policies and your own opinions, so why not try it out?
⑥ What I want you to think about the most is kids. There is no right answer to raising children. It's also conceivable that your life will be opened up by your grandmother, like Ama-chan, so I think it's better to stop imposing opinions. Don't forget that one day there will come a time when children will be told the same thing...

I understand the feeling very well. My wife's feelings too.

Not being able to live on the parents' side is a man's idea, isn't it? If that's the case, women have been unfaithful since they got married (^^;
Being able to live together on the parents' side is probably the most reassuring thing, though. I don't know if that is the happiest thing for the whole family.

However, it seems that a place about 1 hour from my parents' house is suitable for work. If it's 1 hour, I can easily go see my parents ◎ I think it's a blessed environment.
Rather than disliking your parents, your wife probably thinks it would be nice to have an environment where you can live without worrying about each other.

There are also financial matters, so it's a married couple's life, and the couple's opinions are paramount ◎
If parents are called parents, my wife won't be able to say anything. (I don't want to be a bad woman)
I think an environment suitable for raising children and working should be prioritized.
First, listen carefully to your wife's opinion. Then, you'll understand your feelings for your parents ◎

What is not well understood between Japanese couples and parents is the following ① to ③.
If you arrange this, print out 3 sheets, and hand them to them like nembutsu cards, the whole of Japan will be saved.
① My wife and wife raise children and are busy with housework every day, and since I got married alone without being understood by my husband, my husband is the only ally, and I am in a very isolated and difficult position where I have to live far from my parents' house.
② My husband and son have to support the house financially, and every day is a battlefield. It is a very difficult position where you have to have a good relationship between the two sides and have a good relationship with your mother-in-law.
③ My mother and mother-in-law have a lovely son who was born with a stomach ache, and they don't understand this until my wife gives birth to a child, and my physical decline only increases year by year, and I have anxiety about old age, so I want my child to stay close to me, but they are in a difficult position due to their relationship with my wife.

“Facilitate”
Set up a neutral moderator and let both sides express their opinions and proceed constructively with the meeting.
In this case, I don't really feel that my point is on you.
・I want my parents to stay with me.
・My wife wants to be independent.
Instead of suffering from being caught between the parents and the bride, I think it is best to have each other find WIN/WIN merits while listening to the arguments of both parties, and let each other understand which one has advantages over the long term.
The cardinal rule that should be instilled in the daughter-in-law is ①②③.
You don't fall for either of them, and you should stick to your neutrality and be a good presenter.
This is because you, as a husband and parent's child, are in a very difficult position where a woman who must manage a relationship between two women cannot understand.
It is said that if you adopt only your wife's opinions, your mother will resent you, and if you only adopt your mother's opinions, you won't be able to rely on them from your wife. Jidai is the wife of the Mazacon-positive faction. But if you don't understand it, you have to grow.
As a wife with children, my thoughts are more delicate than men and look ahead, so I'm not wrong.
Parents worry about their children, and the opinion that it is better to do this comes from many years of experience, so it's not wrong.
Everyone has their own right position.
It is your job as Tamori-san, who wasn't Mr. Tahara Soichiro, and the famous presenter and facilitator who wasn't.
Incidentally, my plan is to separate where my parents feel safe.

It's important to stand up for parents and wives, but it's also sad that children are swayed by them.

If it's for the kids, I can put up with it.
I can do anything for my grandchildren.

There are also various houses that have been built in separate houses in the precincts.
There are various types of families that come to our nursery school.

How old is your child now?
Will my wife specialize in raising children until elementary school?
Or do they leave it to work at a nursery school or the like?

Raising adults as “grandparents” and “parents” is a child born between us.
When a child is born, parents are in grade 0 and adults whose grandparents are in grade 0 become full parents and grandparents by getting involved with their children and grandchildren.
I've watched over and over again how having children and grandchildren gradually changes their self-centered thoughts into people who enjoy the hearts of those around them.

If a married couple works together, my recommendation is to live close to my parents.
If you're a full-time housewife, I think moving to a place close to my wife's parents' house is one of the options.

Being caught between a parent and his wife is painful, isn't it? There isn't a mistake that both parties are convinced of, this... is there? I think only Take-san is having a hard time because the two sides don't get along.

Wouldn't it be okay to declare surrender from time to time without feeling bothered because he's a man, because he's my husband, or because I'm the eldest son?
I don't know, what should I do? It's definitely not wrong to ask your parents or wife.

Furthermore, one inch ahead is darkness. If Take-san were suddenly taken away by aliens in a UFO one day (sorry ^^;), what would his wife do? In addition, there are various “tara” and “tara”. Why don't you ask both sides for their opinions while imagining such things? If it's hard to listen, you can ask “the monk told me to listen to your opinion.”

First of all, I would like to pray that Take-san herself and her children will be able to live well every day.