My grandson will build a house on my grandmother's land.

Kumi-sama
My name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an, thank you for your support.

Originally, they were a close family, but they were jittery due to the construction issues at their second daughter's house, and they are having a hard time.

Let me sort it out a bit, and my grandmother is 94 years old and alive.
Are your parents healthy and living with your grandmother as a family of 3?
Kumi, the second daughter, and the third daughter each have families and are independent.

Then, the second daughter had a desire to build a house on her grandmother's land, as her grandmother had said before. However, my grandmother says she doesn't like her second daughter's husband, who is unreliable and cannot be adopted, and she doesn't like it until I die.
However, the second daughter, who likes fortune telling, tried to push things forward aggressively, and her parents supported her even if they put the house as collateral.

Looking at it this way, are the two people who oppose the construction of the second daughter's house, Grandma and Kumi? What about the third woman?

I've checked and asked a lot of questions, but that doesn't mean I want to receive answers one by one. Also, of course, I'm not in a position to judge.

However, I was wondering why the parents accepted and supported the second daughter's proposal, which was unreasonable from Kumi's point of view. In response to that, I was also curious about what the third woman thought.

As Kumi herself says, “I don't know what's what anymore,” I think there may also be information that hasn't been sorted out yet, and other people's thoughts that haven't been grasped.

Also, many issues (things my grandmother struggled with in the war, my second daughter's husband being silent, fortune telling... etc.) were written, but I think they should be viewed as individual issues so as to unravel tangled threads one by one without relating to each other.

After that, is it time to take a step back and have a calm mind and have a dialogue? It would be even better if we could meet and talk instead of email or phone.

Everyone has their own ideas, and it may be quite difficult to come up with an answer that satisfies everyone, but I try to make sure that everyone can get along as well as possible.

I read your question.
It's painful when I think about my grandmother's feelings.

However, once it has been decided to build a house and the parents are satisfied, I think it will be quite difficult to make changes. No matter how many sisters they are, this issue will get more and more complicated when you get in the way.
The collateral issue is also a matter of money, so I'm worried. Talking directly to your sister will only cause trouble, so it's fine with your parents, right? I think it's okay if it's confirmed once again. It's about my parents' house, isn't it
But as for my sister's house, now that it's decided, even if you get in the way, my position will only deteriorate, so I have no choice but to keep an eye on her.

My grandmother is probably the one I'm most worried about.
They're probably bothering you a lot, so please support them by asking them that it's okay. My parents and younger sister probably wouldn't be able to reach my grandmother's feelings right now.

I hope that someday, the whole family will be able to understand each other.

Kumi. I think my grandmother is a nice person. The answer to this question has already been given by the previous monk, but I would like to talk only about what I was interested in.
① Your grandmother may have treated everyone kindly, but she probably gave instructions casually. Your parents are particularly direct parents, so the feelings you had stored up until now that you didn't think well are coming out right now, aren't they? In particular, I think it was very hurt that the second daughter was denied the person she loved even if she had few marriage partners because she had good or bad personalities. “Why are you being stingy on my fiancee. I'm sorry. I'm in a good age, and now I can't change to anyone else.” But did you think that? I really don't think my second daughter's husband is a bad person. However, they may be quiet, quiet, and not good at asserting themselves. For the most part, wouldn't it be better to get rid of the concept of a friendly person being a really nice person soon? Those values are easy prey to bank transfer fraud. I think it would be better to observe people more closely. Otherwise, I think my sisters will always be parallel.
② I was curious about who would take care of Ooi Oi Grandma. Everything seems to happen to you, the eldest daughter. The same goes for parents. When I watch my second daughter's slightly aggressive behavior, it seems that things that are inconvenient to me will be passed on to the other sisters. I think the reason Kumi doesn't know what what is right now is because she is a person with pure and kind feelings. I think it's the most difficult position without abandoning that feeling, so I think it's better to listen to my grandmother, parents, second daughter, and third daughter about what to do in the future. I don't think the third woman is angry with the same feelings as you.
③ I recommend that Kumi add calm to purity and kindness and continue to treat your family in the future. When you're not satisfied with land inheritance or family register issues, I think it's a good idea to ask an expert in that field. I think various problems will continue to occur, but there are also things about your family, so if you don't treat them to the extent that you really don't get tired, when you have a problem with your family, “I don't care about that.” There are double and triple problems waiting for you on the day I mentioned it, so please be careful.

If it's true, objectively speaking, it's definitely a violation of grandma's human rights.
First, I recommend that you record or leave a video of your grandmother's true intentions and feelings as a “will” before your grandmother passes away. Hurry up, even today.
If the worst happens, play it at the funeral like Fujite◎ Bi's daytime drama, or send it home. It would have a curse effect, no joke.
It's fine. There's no harm to people who haven't done anything bad, and they only hit a psychological trap when they have bad intentions.
As answered below, this problem is a big problem if the younger sister and his wife have bad intentions, and the big problem of neglecting grandma. Your own problem is probably a conflict from your older sister's standpoint about whether it's okay to overlook her sister's injustices and inhuman acts.
Let's keep it simple. Although it is a verbal promise, personal property is personal property while we are alive.
If your parents are being pushed by the aggressiveness of your unhappy child and your cunning sister, who pretends to be ignorant, and no one can help you, then you should take it seriously and do everything you can.
First of all, the main character and owner of that house is probably the grandmother.
There's nothing you can do about it that only your younger sister and her couple can blatantly claim ❝ their own ❞. Construction must begin in February... is an excuse to get them to sign a contract quickly.
I think they just want to create a fait accompli that we will live in first.

Before being forced to sign a transfer agreement in an unknown and unforcible form, question your grandmother's true intentions, and if it's malicious fraud, have her break up the contract for your sister as well.
Even if it becomes slapstick, if it's a family relationship that can be broken by such a thing, it's OK to break it.
All we can do is acknowledge each other's faults from there. If you can't do it, the only thing that comes down is the Buddha's punishment called remorse while being broken.
First of all, we should go back to the origin of the clean slate before both my son-in-law and sister joined.
If I were in the same position, I think I would break up the contract right away, put grandma in the lead role in a form that everyone is satisfied with, and have an open family meeting with a third party other than the family in order to respect Grandma's intentions.
Prioritize continuing a false sisterly relationship with your sister, and if you feel the injustice there and close your eyes to that injustice, it means that some kind of smoldering heart will remain in you.

Inheritance (gift during her lifetime) is permitted in a house where the grandmother is alive and well. However, when you pass away, it becomes an inheritance, and many people involved in heirs will come out. Problems with cemeteries etc. are also inheritance. I think they're in a hurry to understand that. Legally, if you have a strong feeling that your grandmother inherits your body, you have to do a notarized certificate (will). However, considering the age of 92, it's pretty difficult. It's the pattern that siblings and relatives who have been on good terms until now have the most trouble with.
The above is just legal theory.
I think it would be best to proceed with the conversation with siblings, relatives, and a third party (lawyer, etc.).
If you think about it later.
There are many cases where I have also been involved in the inheritance of believers, so I would like to give secular advice.
Sorry for my view of reality.