Notice

I pray that your father will have peace of mind and live a long time even though he is suffering from cancer. “People die even if they are cured of cancer.” You must know this properly.
I'm going to die too. I'll die one day. If possible, I want to die quietly and peacefully, but life is when that doesn't turn out the way I want. Things that don't go the way you want them to be are called suffering.
So there's no suffering if you don't try to make them do what you want them to.
If humans attract water from the Buddha River to this place, Gada Hikimizu.
If you don't go against the flow of the Buddha's river and follow suit, it's a way of living in accordance with the law.
Maybe your mother wants your father to be at ease and notice nature. You know your own body the most, so I think it's less shocking if you notice it naturally. There are things that are more important than announcements.
Please keep on talking. It's about having a conversation with no leftovers. If it's a parent and child, it's probably going to be a bit of a fight; it's about talking deep down. Many people are left with things they can't talk about even if they want to talk after death, and they are left with painful feelings even after death. It is said that those who were able to properly discuss filial piety and family love have no sense of loss even after passing away.
I hope my mom will read it too. Life is finite.
Imperfect dialogue and imperfect communication are difficult even between living people.
It's about discussing anything. There may be spiteful fights between men, but they should talk until they repent and forgive each other's quarrels during life. The sense of respect, respect, and filial piety that makes you feel grateful for your parents is not to prioritize yourself until you are sure of yourself.
Since everything can be seen that everything is finite, your hands should fit naturally on your father's back. I'm praying that you and your family will be able to clearly see what you and your family should do in your lifetime.

Hiro-sama
It's been a while, my name is Urakami from Nagomi-an.
How about after the previous consultation?

This time it's about Hiro's father.
Basically, I think notifications should be made to the person in question. Of course, you must carefully consider how to communicate, but regrets caused by not communicating will not be erased later.

Besides, no matter what the people around you say, I think the person himself will understand. Although you are old, there may be things you would like to do in the face of death. If you tell them “it's pneumonia, if things get better,” etc., it would be difficult for the person himself to face up to death, so you may be forced to convince yourself, “OK, let's do that.”

Either way, I think Dad, Mother, and Hiro will all be jittery. Also, the regret of not communicating it makes the mother and Hiro's grief even greater after that.

... that being said, there's no chance that you'll regret telling it.
When it comes to this kind of topic, my mom says, “I'm scared, so don't announce it!” I say it. If I get sick, I'm worried about what to do, but even so, I'm sure they will give the utmost consideration to the announcement.

Communicate while showing the attitude that they will snuggle up and support them.
And after the announcement, I keep listening to my father's thoughts.
I myself believe that is the best path.

It's a difficult problem, though. My college research was life and death theory. We are still working on it. My parents also announced it. Buddha's teachings are life, old age, illness, death. However, the truth is that you should learn how to live and die from death, illness, and old age. How do you spend your last hours, which are often discussed with your family. And the most important thing is death with dignity. It is the person's request. If the person himself has told you not to make announcements or hide things until now, you should let them know... the last hour will go by so fast. Wouldn't it be best not to regret it? Opinions are probably divided even among monks. It's such an important and important issue. Akiyama Genshin, chief priest of Kaiunji

Hiro-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

I'm really worried about your father.

Did your father not specify anything on informed consent when visiting a medical institution?

As a recent trend, there are cases where we confirm the person's intention regarding the notification, especially at the time of the first diagnosis, so I hope you can confirm that a little bit as well. If the father refuses to make an announcement, making an announcement may be contrary to the person's will, and I know that it is necessary to be careful about that.

If there is no specific clarification on the person's informed consent, recently, there have been many medical institutions introducing palliative care, and I know that by making an announcement, you may be able to meaningfully spend your life expectancy while receiving palliative care while respecting the person's intentions.

Of course, I think it would be better to decide on this announcement based on agreement between families as much as possible in order not to leave grudges later. Naturally, the intention of the mother, who has been with her for many years and is fully familiar with her father, cannot be ignored. Once again, I think it would be good to have enough discussions with the mother once again, and if necessary, discuss and make a decision with the doctor and other family members.

“Aibetsu Farewell,” which is the pain of having to break up with someone you love... I have honestly been treated a lot about this suffering even in my questions up until now.

Regarding the death that will eventually come, ask “I don't know how to treat my father with terminal cancer” (http://hasunoha.jp/questions/227), and until now, about death with dignity, the question “about death” (http://hasunoha.jp/questions/324) · question “every day of regret” ( http://hasunoha.jp/questions/172) ・Each question is dealt with in “Suffering at the End” (http://hasunoha.jp/questions/95), so I hope you can take a moment to refer to it if you like.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho