I'm afraid my current girlfriend won't like me, so I push myself to death. I thought they might dislike me if I said this, and I couldn't say what I wanted to say, and I felt like I was in tatters.
I want to be prepared to be disliked, but what should I do?
I was able to clearly state what I wanted to say because I was convinced that my partner would not leave in my relationships up until now.
Thank you for your support.
Yo-chan, having trouble with love is proof that you're young. That's good. You're getting older normally, aren't you? What's more, bookstore boys are popular now. You've probably had more romantic experiences than eagles.
As long as you look at her as a woman, your worries won't run out. I don't know what kind of personality she is, so I can't go into much detail, but I'll just say the opinions of eagles who have been in contact with various people for reference.
① She's probably pretty aggressive and says a lot of things to you. So you might not be able to show yourself. However, men that women don't like “don't listen to me,” “don't have a sense of cleanliness,” and “look at other women.” The point is that men who don't care are disliked. Yo-chan seems to be careful about that, so I think that's fine. When women meet men, they are supposed to be careful about everything from makeup, clothing, and body odor, so you have to evaluate that. In the end, it becomes something women and men don't understand.
② You're not alone in not being able to say what you want to say. I don't think everyone was able to say it somewhere. No one can say 80% of what they want to say. “Think of others as your mirror.” There was a time when I was told that. Recently, I've finally understood what that means.
③ I think my current worries will change with each passing year. Eagles were like that too. I'm worried right now. They'll probably forget it or change their shape next year. Time may resolve things, so don't be impatient to come up with the answers.
Finally, when I was a student in my 20s, I was ignored a lot by women, and I hardly ever talked about it, but now I've finished my training, and now women talk to me. You might be interested in eagles, but... There are times when people don't like me even if I say a little bit of disgust or humor at that time, but there are also women in relationships that don't change. Something is hard for women to grab. What kind of things do women like about men?
I know you're worried about her. It must be painful. I don't know the details, but it's also painful to be worried about not being able to express my own opinions. The Buddha (Mihotoke) Suffering is the beginning of a human being. Being born into this world is painful. I'm explaining that there will always be breakups with people you love, such as life, old age, illness, death, love separation, etc. I also broke up with my girlfriend a long time ago. However, my senior told me that if we hadn't parted ways, we wouldn't meet.
Not wanting to be disliked or liked by women they like is a natural feeling that everyone has. I don't think you can throw it away and be prepared to be disliked.
So, I think it would be good to have feelings of “I don't want to hate you” and “I want to like you” that go beyond that. Let's make Yo-chan fall in love with her to the fullest. If you really, really like it, you'll want her to be happy rather than your own.
I was able to read the romance as it is now, as if my own happiness was superior to my partner's.
If I were a woman, it would be hard to watch Tattered Men. Aren't you prepared to make your partner happy instead of being disliked?
That problem itself is already a technical problem of killing women, isn't it?
If you tell her that as it is, I think her reaction will tell you what you should do in the future.
If she heard it and heard that you put up with your own good koto until you pushed yourself to death, how about the opposite?
Wouldn't it be uneasy if you had something to hide?
I wonder why they don't reveal my true self, and I think being forced to do it for myself is rather heavy.
If you think about it simply, even if you wear a cat, your rags will eventually come out.
You can be yourself as you are without being pretentious or lying, and if you are accepted, that is safe and stress-free even when you look at it for a long time, isn't it?
You probably love her quite a bit, but no matter how much you love her, she's her, and you.
A way of dealing with someone that binds you and makes you feel stressed probably means that you are overdoing it somewhere or telling a lie. I think your problem is that it has become painful after being painted over with lies. Wouldn't it be nice to be spoiled by not putting parentheses on it, not overdoing it, and wanting people to accept places that are pathetic even though there are limits?
Communication between men and women means gradually accepting the differences between men and women, isn't it?
Yo-chan
This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.
I really understand how you don't want to be disliked.
However, I know that if people don't like you for a few things, it will be very difficult to do well in the future.
It's even more so if it's a serious relationship with marriage in mind.
If that is the case, I think it would still be necessary to show yourself to your opponent without misrepresenting yourself without trying to force yourself to death.
If we want to continue to walk with her as a life partner in the future, it is important to have mutual consideration, support, help, and share.
Sometimes we acknowledge each other's shortcomings, and I think it will be necessary for the other party to make up for each other's lacking parts and weaknesses.
Not only do they have differences between men and women, but they also have different powers, ways of thinking, personalities, and values. Of course, the environment I grew up in is also different. A slight discrepancy is unavoidable... ah... this is “celery” by SMAP...
“I'll try my best, try as hard as I can, even if I say something a little bit, I simply love you” (lyrics/composer Masayoshi Yamazaki)
Right. You simply love it, don't you?
That's why being left must be even scarier..
However, in order for the two to continue to do well, towards a mutually positive relationship where they can grow with each other, it is not good if Yo-chan can grow with each other and grow with each other by exposing what she wants to say, including her shortcomings, so that her partner accepts it, and when she is told to be bad and fix it, she doesn't neglect her efforts to honestly fix things, and can also say that equally bad things are bad with their partner. I wonder if it is.
Anyway, I would be happy if you could keep in mind even a little bit of a balanced relationship of caring, supporting, helping each other, and supporting each other in addition to your future relationships. I wish you happiness.
Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho