What should I do to protect my parents' house?

Nice to meet you, my name is Fujinami Renou.
I haven't answered your question in a long time.

I'm currently staying at a temple in Aichi Prefecture.
They also have two children about the same age as Hiro-san, a daughter and a son.

My parents' house is in the Kinki region.
My two old parents live there.
I don't have any siblings.
We'll have to do something about it sometime,
A real problem lies ahead.

About 2 degrees per month
I have work in the direction of my parents' house, so I stopped by my parents' house or stayed overnight,
I'm watching my parents.
When I came to a temple in Aichi prefecture, my only problem was the long distance.
Even so, I was able to get back to my parents' house in less than 2 hours.

Things aren't going well between my wife and my father,
Like being able to set up a new house close to my wife's parents' house.
If it's a distance of 40 km, it's relatively easy to get back and forth,
I'm rather envious (^_^).

Probably because of my wife's feelings and my parents,
They probably came here sandwiched between boards and asked no questions...
I understand your situation as if it were my own.

If it's within 40 km,
I think you'll be able to protect your parents' house well enough.
Is it difficult for Hiro-san to go back and forth as much as possible?

My parents' house will eventually become unmanned.
But I want to protect it as long as I live.
That's because the hometown I should go back to is there.
If you have 2 children, so that either one of them can inherit it it,
How about making arrangements now?
Even if you just inflate that kind of thought,
It makes me feel a little easier.
To your parents
Why don't you talk about your grandchildren as well.
For myself, for my two children,
I want those who leave the temple to inherit their parents' house.

For you in your 30s,
I think there's still more time to think slowly.
Please don't be too humble.
Things will come true... even for me who are close to the same position
That's what I think.

“The eldest son of the world is bound by his birthplace because he was born in the position of being the eldest son, is swayed by a wife who is in conflict with his parents by getting married, is estranged from his brothers and sisters, and since he is the eldest son even after the death of his parents... the feeling of suffering from bondage and spells sandwiched between them is like being burned by the fire of hell even if his parents, wife, or siblings don't understand it, and it's like being burned by hell.” (font (-_-;))

Two positive changes will occur when you come out.
① It can also be a stimulus for other siblings.
I think the siblings who just left were probably left up to their eldest son until now.
I also think that being able to show up sometimes makes you feel close to your parents' house, and as a result, your sense of filial piety will increase.
② Parents can return to being husband and wife.
There is also an aspect where the kid came out and it was helpful.
Before taking care of parents, first of all, parents aren't old enough to require that much nursing care.
Being the eldest son, I think he has a strong sense of shared responsibility, but you are still in your 30s, and your parents are still 63 years old. I don't think it's necessary to go that far.
With this, it also means that parents have finally finished raising their children.
When I heard from an elderly person, it seems that their son and his wife lived in a separate place, but they came back.
They said, “I intended to live quietly as a married couple in my old age, but I was busy taking care of my grandchildren and preparing meals for my sons... (-_-;).”
Oh, I see, I think this problem will go away when you and your parents are convinced that there are such ideas and benefits.
Oh, it's a bit off the road, but just for reference, “There's an Eldest Son.”
Men are not bound by their home, parents, or wife; they are just bound to themselves.
matome.naver.jp/odai/2135278531578909301‎

Nice to meet you, Hiro-san. My name is Okuwa. As for Hiro's question,
“What should I do when the destination house is unmanned? I wanted my parents to take care of it, so I don't want to sell it if possible, but in reality, what is the best thing to do? Please tell me”
That's fine, right?

There are various houses that I usually visit when visiting the moon. Among them, for example, there is a house where brother, sister, and brother gather on Saturdays and Sundays close to the anniversary of their parents' death, and I go there to recite sutras. Once a month, my grandchildren also gather and about 10 people pray every time, and they have a lively time.

Also, in the case of a house where siblings gathered for a while after their parents passed away, and siblings gathered only during the parents' memorial service, there are also cases where grandchildren became independent when they got a job, and they started living at their unmanned grandparents' house.

Both have protected the inner Buddha (Buddhist altar) of the family where their parents were left behind from generation to generation. Houses will eventually become dilapidated, and I think the day will come when they are renovated or demolished, but I think protecting the house and the Buddha will protect that house and your ancestors, so why not change the way you think about how to carefully inherit the hearts of your parents and ancestors that were cherished rather than the shape of a house?

This is Kaiunji Akiyama Genshin.
It's a really big problem, isn't it?
Everything that originally had the form of Butsumetsu can be destroyed. I'm coming from here, but before I knew it, Butsumetsu had bad luck.
If you ask about the current situation, I think there is still time.
It's slightly different from Buddhism, but what is the biggest difference between these three people, Oda Nobunaga, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, and Tokugawa Ieyasu? There are people who have been researched. Ieyasu always breaks up his house. (Family lineage and head of the family) I understood that and formed the Three Houses. Then, it was the seventh shogun, and it was actually interrupted, and Yoshimune, the eighth shogun, appeared from Kii. Also, if the three families aren't enough, Yoshimune furthermore exclaimed the three lords (the fifteenth shogun of the Hitotsubashi family from the Mito Domain) over these three families.
Currently, I am a concurrent chief priest with Myounji Temple in Iwaki City, Fukushima, but due to the nuclear power plant issue, my parents' house itself has disappeared, and my family is separated. One inch ahead is a dark lantern. As for the words of Senshi Seito, it is in this world that we don't know what will happen tomorrow. It's a big deal to think and worry in a hurry, but how about resetting it once and then? We're in a state where we can meet even if we're far away now. As we discuss it, the flow may change again.

Hirohiro-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Even though I'm exaggerating, I know whether it's important to protect the “home” or whether it's important to protect the “affinity of the family.”

It would certainly be nice if a “house” can be protected for a long time, but eventually it becomes dilapidated, difficult to live in, and the more years it is built, the more difficult it becomes, such as maintenance and renovation, and it is also not something that can be protected forever. It is something that may soon disappear even due to fires or natural disasters.

Things that have a shape will eventually break down, and they are “impermanent.” Rather than protecting such a form, I think it would be better to prioritize what should be protected here, the “bond” of invisible family friendship. After all, even if a “house” is broken, that's enough if you fix it, but a bond of affinity between families cannot be built unless they are living with each other.

Whether you live together or not, if your family breaks down, that becomes a problem. If people who live together have a higher risk of their family breaking up, there's nothing wrong with leaving your parents' house to live. Rather, it is correct.

However, originally, if what you want to protect is “family affection,” I think it would be good if you could take care of showing your face regularly to your parents and increasing contact with your grandchildren. The sad faces of parents due to some disappointment due to the fact that they are no longer able to protect the house are unavoidable; rather, if the family collapses, there are no parents or children, and I think it would be fine to do even a little filial piety while we can.

They live together poorly and it becomes a bit complicated, and in the unlikely event that they get divorced, etc., they may not even be able to notice...

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho