After all I want to go to my son

Maya and Mama

I think that's probably why such feelings of pain, sadness, loneliness, pain, etc. continue. Everyone will experience that kind of suffering before their children. It's not your fault.
So don't hold onto that feeling alone,
I recommend that you talk to someone.

Counselors who specialize in listening and grief care
Accident Survivors Association, monks, etc.
Please express your feelings to someone.
Recently, if you look it up on the internet, various things will come up, so please look for it.
That's also until you meet someone or place you like, not in one place or alone
I recommend that you talk to a few people about your painful feelings.

Even if you are not immediately free from suffering, changes will occur when you come into contact with a warm atmosphere, enveloping feeling, and kindness, so please talk to someone.

Your son will surely feel wrapped in kindness and peace as a result.

Regret

The death of my beloved son,
I would like to express my deepest condolences.
sense of loss,
loneliness,
sorrow,
I would like to express my sympathy.
Up until now, it's been a mess
You've been able to work so hard
isn't there one?
The thread of such a tense heart
Like it was cut
I felt it.

Unfortunately,
At my son's place
I can't go.
This is because the dimensions and feelings are different.
My son
Due to the accident, in the lifespan,
They have passed away.
You are
I'm full of pessimism right now,
Against my son
I want to open up! To a mass of obsession called
I think it's getting better.
My current state of mind
That's wrong.
To a fool,
With who you are now,
I don't think we'll meet.
Whether it's alive or not
whether dead or not,
That has nothing to do with it.
This is my current state of mind.
Conversely, my son's position
Please think about it.
What is a son
I think so.
mom,
That's enough!
they're alive, aren't they?
I'm thinking about something!
it's solid.
It's still time to meet.
Mom
I'm doing well!
If you had that kind of face,
this is a problem.
About me
If you do what you think,
Eat something delicious
I'm doing well.
If you do a memorial service,
To God and Buddha
Why don't you ask for it?

As you said,
I felt it.
There's still more to come.
Also for my son
For yourself, too
Visit shrines and temples
I recommend it.
I don't need a donation,
You don't even need to buy money.
Make time for yourself
Together with my son's spirit
Please take a look around.

I don't know right now,
Something seems to change.
If you understand something,
Isn't there one?

Your comeback
Together with my son
I pray.

Hello. My name is Kameyama Junshi.

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your son and that every day is difficult.

The thoughts “why did my son die” and “why do I have to feel so lonely” are probably thoughts that everyone has had if they have experienced the sudden death of a loved one. However, the answers to these questions, whatever they may be, will not only convince me. That's because I don't want to acknowledge my current situation.

My son's death is just around the corner as an irreplaceable fact. If that is the case, “How does my late son want me to live now, left behind in this way?” Why don't you ask yourself this question?

Some of my favorite poems are:

“A person leaves, but that person's smile doesn't leave
When a person leaves, that person's words don't go away
When a person leaves, that person's warmth doesn't go away
“Even if people leave, they come back into the palm of worship” (by Nakanishi Tomomi Kazujo)

Your son's smile, words, and warmth will always be in your memory. And by putting your hands together, your son can come back into your heart. Even if you don't go see him, your son will come to see you. And my son taught you various things, such as the impermanence of this world and the importance of life, through his own death. If you learn anything from your son's death, it will lead to not wasting your son's death. Then, if you cherish what you have taught me through your son's death, you will always feel that your son is coming to see you. And isn't that the way your son wants you to live?

I read it.
I read that you feel very sad after losing your precious son. Yes, your son was an irreplaceable source of life for you. I don't think it's unreasonable for you to want to go to your son's place. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

My son has already been guided by the Buddha, has been gently welcomed by his father, close people, and ancestors, and is probably at peace with the Buddha with everyone, saved from all suffering and anxiety, and is at peace with his heart.
And I'm sure they have attained Buddhism with all of you in a pure heart and in perfect harmony.

Your son is always watching over you kindly. And they are always close to you and snuggle up to you.

Your sorrow will never end. Please put your hands together with your son and convey that thought from the bottom of your heart. Your son accepts all of your thoughts without leaving anything to be desired. And they will continue to be close to your heart, support, and encourage you.

You can continue to live while being snuggled up to your son. Your life will continue to be with your son.

Someday, when you reach the end of your life, your son will always welcome you with everyone close to you, and you will feel at peace with your son from the bottom of your heart under the Buddha.

I sincerely pray for your son, father, and ancestors that you will continue to live peacefully and richly with everyone while being watched over by your son.

Also, even when you have reached the end of your life, the Buddha will always guide you, and I will ask the Buddha so that you can be gently welcomed by your sons and be born and loved by everyone and the Buddha. Namu Amida Buddha Namu Amidabutsu

Also, if you like your feelings, please let me know.