The Chief Priest's Thoughts

My husband is a chief priest (Jodo sect).

My husband seems to have grown up without being blessed with a family, so we sympathized with the words I want to have a happy family and have been together for 5 years. While we were in a relationship, I felt twice as much love from my husband as anyone else. Incidentally, I didn't know my husband's occupation until we got engaged.

I was blessed with children, and every day became centered around raising children. Even so, even when a child was born for a happy family, they cherished the couple's time as much as possible, had lunch together, and was always fun and happy as if it were a date.

However, as the number of families grew, and as my children grew, I began to wonder if there were moms' meetings (parents' associations), etc., and my sense of gratitude to my husband and those around me were misaligned (I was told that kindergarten help should be left to someone else, and there was no need for my family).

While I understood my husband's irregular job description, child-rearing didn't go well, and I asked my husband to understand the pain of raising children, and the stress of misunderstanding the above thoughts also built up, and I began to put my husband on the back burner.

Marital quarrels also began, and the fight began with an argument, and my husband sometimes raised his hand to me.
One day, when such a thing continued for 2 months, my husband suddenly took the children from the daycare center without my permission, and communication was interrupted.

After 3 weeks of discommunication, my husband's lawyer suddenly mediated my divorce.

Was it the result of an initially happy family and thinking about young children?
For this reason, I'm reviewing myself, my husband, and my husband and wife, but my husband didn't have a best friend I could talk to. My husband's sister and general counsel were the only people I consulted with.

The monks give sermons. I always listen to sermons and restore my forgotten feelings. It reminds me of the feeling of being kind, the feeling of accepting the other person, and the feeling of being honest and reflecting. I thought my husband was like that too. Even though it's a job, I thought it was someone whose heart was twice as rich as anyone else's. They say there is an ascetic practice for that.
Is there no choice but to think that my husband wasn't a monk, he was just the chief priest?

I can't help but worry about the feelings of young children.

3 Zen Responses

The kids are worried, aren't they?

Thank you for your consultation.

What would happen if I told that lawyer that I wanted to talk to the kids?

What good reason is there a split between you and your child?

From then on, I didn't know the details leading up to that point,

What I felt was

My husband had an ideal family, and he was pushing towards it.

I wanted to live well with you.

However, when it comes to getting into a fight or being put on the back burner

I think they were twice as weak as humans.

It's because of a difficult past, and the opposite of ideal...

But the reality of marriage doesn't mean we can reach the ideal right away,
There are various detours, and it's something two people make, right?

Personally, I felt that the divorce mediation process was going too fast after a two-month fight

It felt like above.

Some people may not feel that it's too early.

Either way, it's painful to think about your feelings.

It's painful.

I was suddenly separated from my kids, and it's so painful.
Are you alone in the temple right now?
Did the chief priest leave the temple with his child?
From the content of your question, I don't really understand the cause of marital quarrels.
However, showing marital violence to children is child abuse (psychological abuse).
Even if it's just a marital fight, it's not strange for child counseling centers or police to intervene.
Does your husband take your child because he wants custody of the child?
Does that mean I want to get divorced but don't want to let go of my kids?
In the Jodo sect, we believe that everyone has worries.
Also, in the Jodo sect, modern people think it is easy to break crimes such as murder, stealing, lying, infidelity, and drinking alcohol.
In the days when the Buddha was around, there were many saints who were enlightened and succeeded in erasing their worries, but in modern society long after the Buddha passed away, there is also a way of thinking that Buddhists as a whole have leveled down.
In any case, think that even if you are a monk, you have worries such as greed, anger, laziness, and pride.
Everyone has greed, anger, laziness, and pride.
That's why I think it's important for couples to forgive and be kind to each other's worries, and at the same time encourage each other so as not to succumb to their worries.
It's not okay to do bad things because the world is in turmoil, but the Jodo sect believes that modern people (including monks) are prone to succumbing to worries and making mistakes.

Let's make the switch and deal with it.

Maybe it's better to think about it as a single man or husband, not because he's a monk or someone who lives at home.
However, it is so selfish to unilaterally take them out of the daycare center and then lose communication, and if you think about that child's feelings (heart), there is no justification anywhere.
He is acting very unfortunate.
After all, the last one is just a marital issue, so the couple must discuss and settle the matter. It was 2 months, but it was 2 months. It must have been painful to be troubled and saddened by various things, but since the consultation (declaration in a sense) was made in this way, let's deal with it calmly from here on.
You're a mother!
... I don't want to go to the chief priest for advice.

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