An old man I was on good terms with has passed away

It recently became known that an old man I met through work and was good friends with in private has passed away. He died at the age of 93.

I was a tour guide, and I became good friends with an old man who guided me on the tour, and even went out to eat in private.

My grandfather also liked me and said, “Let's meet once every 3 months,” and he took me to high-end restaurants over and over again that he wouldn't be able to enter on his own.

It felt like that, but since the beginning of 2012, there was an interval between contacts, and although there were several incoming calls to my cell phone, they were also busy with work, and there were times when I just forgot to call them back.

I also received New Year's cards from my grandfather, but I'm a travel industry worker, and since the year-end and New Year holidays are the busiest season of the year, I even skipped sending New Year's cards.

In 2013/5, I felt like I had to get in touch with my grandfather for some reason, so I answered New Year's cards too late (can't you say New Year's cards, sweat)

I took out the postcard and got a phone call from my grandfather. But something was really strange, so I thought it would be okay. (I checked my call history and it was 5/18/2013)

There was no contact after that, and I was worried, so I was busy, but I did my best this year and sent out New Year's cards so that they could be sent on New Year's Day, but there was no reply.
And just yesterday, my grandfather came up in my dream, so I thought maybe... when I looked up the obituary section of the newspaper company I worked for during my active duty days...

He passed away on 2013/5/24.

When this happens, it makes me think a lot. No matter how busy the season was, I think I was able to write about one New Year's card; even though I received a few incoming calls, I forgot to call them back, I think it would have been okay if I were a little more proactive in contacting them from here... etc. It's very rude, but I was old when we met, so I regret not taking action even though I knew it wouldn't be strange if I passed away at any time. It's too late now, but...

How should I feel from now on? Please give me some advice

4 Zen Responses

Let's think about what we can do

Chiho. Hello. I'm already with Tanjin-in Butler Yamaguchi.
I have a similar case.
○ When I called the person who took care of me for the first time in a long time, they passed away just a week ago.
〇A friend I hadn't talked to in a long time took his own life 2 hours later.
I was really worried when my friend died. I blamed myself like Chiho did. why! Couldn't you help them! You didn't notice it! So when I thought about what I could do, I thought I had no choice but to do a memorial service for them.
Currently, it's been about 30 years since my friend's accident, and I try to spend as much time as possible to pray at the grave for Obon, New Year, and the anniversary of his death. If you don't know about graves, why don't you think about someone you know or put your hands together in front of the main hall of a nearby temple!
I am sure that I will receive the blessings of the Buddha, and my feelings will gradually ease. Because I was like that!

Uncle Ashinaga's Will

Be helpful in some way to people you don't know.
It's about giving shape to the happiness you can provide.
The work in this world is useful to someone or something.
Please tell me about work and small happiness offers one by one.
That is the act of recompense. One line, one line at a time, a Senju Kannon line at a time.
At this timing, opportunities appear every day that make you think you can do this situation.
It's about doing that. It is also called Bosatsu Gō.
People in the world almost only provide benefits to their own homes, families, workplaces, and their own circles.
Like an old man with long legs, please support someone mentally and financially, not for yourself, not for your partner, and for even bigger happiness club activities.
This is because if more people have the same feelings as you, this world will become an even more wonderful world. Happiness can be created.

Living as a Buddha

Chihosama
My name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an, thank you for your support.

You were in a relationship like a friend with someone who was about 60 years apart in age. However, he passed away while he was busy. You're probably regretting that something more could have been done.

But that old man became friends with a young lady who was like his grandson, and I think he had a great time. Also, you were able to speak 6 days before you passed away, right? Even in relationships between parents and children, grandparents, and grandchildren, it is not always possible to stand up when they pass away; on the contrary, there are many cases where they haven't been in touch for months or years.
With that in mind, I think there was a definite relationship between my grandfather and Chiho.

And the old man became a Buddha and taught Chiho something important. I'm sure from now on, Chiho will be able to take care of meeting and contacting loved ones during important times.
When that led to good results, Chiho will remember his grandfather with gratitude. At that time, I think it's possible to say that the old man lives as a Buddha.

“Scattering Cherry Blossoms Remaining Cherry Blossoms Scattering Cherry Blossoms”

Chiho

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

The relationship with that old man is really strange, isn't it? Saying goodbye to someone you've been close to... it's really painful...

The pain of parting ways... this is one of the Eight Struggles, “Aibetsu Farewell.”

Regarding “Aibetsu Rebellion,” I have simply answered the following question as an approach to “Aibetsu Rebellion.”

Question “About the death of a friend”
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/91

Blown by impermanent winds, death comes to everyone at some point.

The cherry blossoms, which had bloomed beautifully until just a few days ago, were scattered all at once due to the spring storm yesterday and today...

When the cherry blossoms are scattered...

Ryokan Zenji... “Scattering Cherry Blossoms Remaining Cherry Blossoms Scattering Cherry Blossoms”

Shinran Shonin... “Will there be cherry blossoms in my heart tomorrow without the storm blowing in the middle of the night?”

It makes me think about the content of these two phrases.

If you compare a cherry blossom tree to this world, and cherry blossom petals to people, people have a relationship and spend time together, but every time an impermanent wind blows, they will scatter one by one, and eventually there will be no one left...

The character for ephemerality of human life... ephemeral is a person's dream... really this life happened or not... is like a dream, something like an illusion.

It's in such a situation, so it's a kimono that cherishes the once-in-a-lifetime relationship even more...

It seems that you have some regrets about your grandfather, but I hope you will firmly share your thoughts on the memorial service this time and pray for your souls. I'm sure that feeling will be conveyed to that old man, and it will be a good relationship and benefit the old man.

I think Chiho will also have various relationships with various people from now on. This world is a world made up of “good luck,” which “arises” due to “relationships.” I hope you can spend this life making good use of your “relationships.” Maybe this time around, I learned about that from my grandfather. If that is the case, thank you very much.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

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