Is my father aware that he died

Nice to meet you.
My father died of cancer in mid-April 2020.
They said they had a lump on their neck around the end of January, and I had a bad dream about my father at that timing, so I was worried, but go get sick, it ended to a degree, and it got worse in the middle of March and I was immediately hospitalized.
But it's too late and there isn't long to go. I was told to be prepared, and I was in despair.
It was 1 month since my father was hospitalized, and he lost weight because he couldn't eat, his blood pressure dropped, and he just passed away. I was called from the hospital early in the morning, and when I went to the hospital with my mother, she had already taken her last breath.
I regretted why I wasn't forced to take him to the hospital at that time. My father's hands were warm right after he passed away, and I couldn't stop crying because I remembered holding hands and laughing that he was surprisingly full of strength when I went to visit him.

After finishing the funeral, etc., and when I was talking to my inspired mother, she said that she didn't feel any sign or anything of her father, and that she wasn't aware that he had died.
Certainly, my blood pressure dropped, and my consciousness was far away, and I died as it was, so I was worried that maybe my soul was still wandering around the hospital. Is there such thing as not being aware of one's own death? My father often talked about souls and hearts during his lifetime about where people go when they die.
Even if you understand such things, is it something you don't understand when you pass away?
Also, my father was hospitalized because he couldn't eat the pudding I had been looking forward to buying before he was hospitalized. Can you eat the alcohol, cigarettes, sweets you like, and the pudding you've been wanting to eat after offering them? I wonder if they take a good rest when they pass away and enjoy pudding, cigarettes, and alcohol that they couldn't eat due to illness?
My father was freed from the pain of his illness, and is he resting well now without suffering?
Sorry for blaming the question.
Thank you for your answers.

4 Zen Responses

I have been freed from all my struggles and suffering.

Nice to meet you, good morning.

Death isn't scary, and it's not the end. It's about embarking on a new story. Psychics who have died... go inside families and people they loved during their lives and spend their lives together. They are crying together, being close to their memories, etc., and empathizing... and they are now spending time stepping out into a new story when they are all right.

Father has been freed from all of his struggles, suffering, pain... and has returned to his original form. Even if we can't see the shape or shape... we spend time together. Right now, when each one is about to lose sight of their individuality... if they show up, it becomes even more confusing... so Dad doesn't show up. No one is holding a grudge or hating. On the contrary, it is wrong to say sorry for making you sad... It's not painful or painful anymore! Because I'm fine... I want you to slowly regain the smile you loved without blaming me, and spend every day as usual without losing sight of myself.

Thank you so much for offering me my favorite foods! I'm eating it deliciously! It is also said. Slowly, without being impatient, one by one... I was entrusted with fulfilling what my father wanted while stopping one step at a time. My most important wish is to gradually regain my smile and be able to spend this moment in my own way, which is neither the past nor the future. Even if you walk through each story, the moment you pray, they will appear by your side and respond with a smile. The Buddhist altar is the same as the phone call between Konogishi and Higan. Even if you don't have a Buddhist altar... you can connect by praying. They left me with great awareness, etc. You can spend your time slowly and carefully, without limits, and one day you will reach the equinox. Until then, my father will take the lead and guide me. When you reach the equinox, please hug them up, open the album engraved in your heart together, and share your memories. Looking forward to that, the father also sets out for a new story. Pure prayers and wishes always reach across time and space.

Please come here whenever you feel uneasy.

Sincerely to Dad... Nanmu Daishi Hensho Kongo

Gassho prayer

Don't worry, the Buddha has been attained.

When dad was alive
Where do people go when they die
It seems that they often talked about souls and hearts
I also understand yourself.

Guided by the Buddha
They went to the Pure Land to attain Buddhism.

I just haven't noticed it.

I've read your question.
the passing of your father,
I would like to express my deepest condolences.

The existence of your father
I can't feel it.
As you said,
My feelings are so strong,
I don't think it will come to fruition.
They are nearby.

To that extent,
Your father is a loved one
I think that was it.

A memorial service is a form of hospitality.
Things that dad loved
Please make an offering.

First,
Big Prin.
Offer a large pudding
later, everyone,
Please take it.

alcohol,
Please also offer beer.
Cigarettes are bad for your health, so
It's better if you refrain
I thought that would be OK.

Good-natured and cheerful,
What is a bit vague
It was there,
A father who was loved by everyone
Even in the Pure Land of Paradise
Loved by everyone.

Don't worry!

Everyone who was left on the contrary
I'm worried.
Right now, due to the effects of COVID-19,
It's a situation where no action can be taken,
Please, Mother
Please support me.

A request from my father.

Please be happy!
Please have a fulfilling life.

I wish you all the best.

The deceased was convinced when they saw the bereaved family perform a memorial service

Nice to meet you, Yosahiri. I read your question.

Yosahiri's father passed away within a short period of time after he became concerned about a lump in his neck. Also, I'm worried that my father doesn't know that he passed away.

My feeling is that there are a certain number of people who have died who can't understand their own death for a while. However, it seems that the deceased were convinced when they saw the bereaved families gathered wearing mourning clothes and holding vigils, funerals, memorial services, etc.

When everyone faces death, they say, “I don't want to die!” It's what I think. After that, if the person dies soon after becoming aware of it, they may not be able to understand death.

When they don't understand their own death, it seems that they finally accept their own death when they see the bereaved have a place to remember the deceased and make a memorial service.

So, please convince Yosahiri by holding a memorial service for her father.

May you have a rich time with Buddhist wisdom

Gassho

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