Is it a woman or a man?

The town I live in has been performing Awa dance since about 20 years ago as a town festival.
I'm retired now, but in the past I played taiko drums and taught dance to children who wanted to participate in festivals.
Among such children, there was a girl in the 5th grade of elementary school.
That child declared that he would “become a boy” just around the time he entered the festival and chose the path of living as a boy.
When I was in middle school and high school, I deliberately wore school runs with poor specifications, and I often walked around town with girls.
There was also a time when I had a big fight scratch on my face.
Now that kid is an adult, and he usually goes to work wearing jeans.
During this time, “What are you going to do (about sex)?” When I asked, “Now? They said, “Well, little by little,” she laughed.
We monks may not be able to solve problems like yours and this child's.
However, we can keep an eye on how we live every day as a human being.
It hasn't been answered, but I'm praying that your suffering will be healed even a little bit.

Tamasama
I'm Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.
Reading this sentence, I felt that this was at the root of the suffering described in the questions up until now.

I don't know the details, but I've heard the term “gender identity disorder.” I think it's unimaginable how hard and painful it is to live while always feeling a strong sense of incongruity.

There is a sutra called the “Five Kings Sutra”... “Human beings are not formed by the unity of the four. The big four are earth water fire winds. There is a part called “If you don't say one major, you won't get 101 diseases.”
Tama-san suffered from poor physical and mental characteristics, and was also unable to easily gain understanding of her surroundings, had repeated disgusting feelings, and also suffered from atopic dermatitis and depression.

I don't think Tama-san is responsible for any suffering. You've endured so much suffering until now. I would like to pay tribute to Tama-san's patience when I think that I would be able to endure it.

The story changes, but it seems that there are various methods such as changing the family register or surgery. It is said that the parents also know Tama-san's feelings to some extent, so is it difficult to proceed little by little? “If I could do that, I would have done it a long time ago!” Will they be scolded?

All I can do is try to make Tama-san feel at peace, and listen to her talk at Hasunoha's place. Please come back when it's hard.

Postscript of watching Thank You
I wrote “I don't know the details” in the main text, and I showed it as I said. I clearly assumed it was gender identity disorder and answered.
I'm sorry if I offended you, I'm sorry.

When people are unaware, they forget their age.
Maybe I'm sick, I'm getting older, and where I was born.
When people aren't overly aware of themselves, they don't even know who they are.
I've also forgotten that it's a man. I've also forgotten that I'm a woman.
That's fine.
You don't have to decide.
That's because my body is more than a way of dividing people by gender in the human world.
Classifying gender only for men and women is a small way of looking at it.
You should relate to people who have a larger world of views.
It would be nice to transcend gender, surpass age, forget your title, and forget everything at this time and become just a human being.
There will be salvation in that moment.
This is because you will no longer be bound by yourself. If you're not bound by yourself, you won't be bound by rules decided by people in the past.
Bottom line: go for yourself.

Tama-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

I wonder if it means that there is a strong sense of “physical self-loathing and incongruity”...

“Is it a woman, a man, or another creature?” ... Anyway, I don't think it's necessary to make hasty decisions based only on one's own judgment, or try to convince yourself by force one or the other.

If the problem is that there is an obstacle or adverse effect on life in the real world, I think it is necessary to seek understanding, support, and assistance from those around you so that it can be reduced as much as possible.

Depending on the degree of impairment or adverse effects, if the mental burden increases, it is conceivable that insomnia, eating disorder, or some kind of dependency due to stress may develop, or it may become a mental illness such as depression. Or, “I want to cut off my chest and slit my stomach. There are times when I think so. “However, if that thought eventually becomes too strong, it is possible that it may lead to self-harm or even suicide attempts, so I think it is necessary to carefully aim for good treatment.

For one thing, if it has already been done, it would be really superfluous, but after all, I think it would be good to be able to receive appropriate treatment, support, and assistance for good treatment by consulting with a medical, psychological, and health institution.

Perhaps in the process, suspicions of “gender identity disorder” may also come up... of course, if we say “disability,” a sense of disgust may occur somewhere, but originally, regardless of the presence or absence of a “disability” as defined unequivocally in modern society, we all uniformly suffer from ignorance (fundamental ignorance), worries, and bad work (in other words, disturbance/intellectual disability), in other words, “disability” in our daily lives · I know there may be hesitation and suffering.

This is a “disability,” and it is not uniformly determined that this is “not a disability,” and rather than that, I think it is important to resolve worries, doubts, and suffering by improving and growing in each case, and make adjustments so that we can spend a better and happier time.

I really think Buddhism can be a good prescription as an aid to that. I would definitely recommend that you take this opportunity to continue your studies.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho