Is it an affliction of arrogance

First of all, the characteristic of “conceit” (conceit) indicates a law where “only oneself is valuable and arrogant.”
For arrogance, it is essential to “evaluate and compare the abilities of yourself and others,” and simply “I'm amazing!” Out of arrogance, “That person is great. There are various types of arrogance, such as the humble arrogance of saying “I am anyway...” and the arrogant arrogance of “being on a level similar to me, isn't it?” for people far superior to myself.
In the case of this question, I don't think I would call it arrogance.

I can't say that I don't want to look good when dressing up. However, don't people around you feel better when you're sharp and stylish rather than looking sloppy? Buddhist monks don't dress up, but there are strict rules on how to dress and behave. Rather than showing off admiration, it is to keep believers from losing their faith in Buddhism.

Well, Kaka, it's not really desirable to worry about taking your kids out to play in order to entertain them.

To answer doctrinally, the “moment” of doing good can only be done with a good heart. However, before and after that “moment” is entangled, both in the case of good intentions and in the case of bad intentions are possible.
For example, when donating to someone. Before donating, I was worried, “I really don't want to do it, but there are other people in front...” and later regret “it was a waste.” If the response from the other party falls short of expectations, anger and depression will occur.
This kind of good is called “bad.” On the other hand, looking forward to it before doing it, and continuing to rejoice, saying “I'm glad I did it,” is called “Katsuyoshi.”

Bad goodness is a “wasteful good” that causes only subsequent bad things for a long time, even though they have done good.
Even if things don't go well as a result, I think it's important that Kaka's mind doesn't get cloudy and continues to be there, even if not appreciated by others.
Even if you get unexpectedly tired due to traffic jams or bad weather, “I'm glad I went after all! I recommend that you head to the next time cheerfully with the feeling that “I too have exercised.”

　Kaka, I understand what you mean, but I don't want you to put away the feeling that you want to please and make everyone happy with the word worry. I agree very much with your efforts. As a result, unfortunately, it may have leaned in a positive direction, but isn't there something we should reflect on here? Did you ask your kids where they wanted to go in the first place? Didn't you refuse what your child wanted to do because it was dangerous or because of adult circumstances? ... I think it's there if I think about it.
I think refining yourself in fashion is also good for gaining confidence in yourself. As a side note, I think it's even better if you enjoy fashion with someone close to you. If you think that looking at the other person's opinions instead of just imposing your own opinions is part of training, wouldn't that change your mood? If your feelings for your partner become stronger, your failures will decrease and your joy will increase. It's good to learn Buddhist precepts and worries, but the foundation of Buddhism is “don't hurt yourself or others.” It's in. Start by reviewing your own actions and be kind to people.
I fell in love with the song “Giver” by EXILE. Please listen to it once. “Oh, is that what it is?” I think so.

Annoyance is bothersome annoyance as the character suggests.
Oh, the act of blaming yourself wondering if this is an annoyance is probably more annoying (^<^)
What is bothering you the most is your sense of bullying yourself.
The reason you're disappointed when you fail is probably because your expectations and your own desires are too strong.
Rather than rejoicing without failure,
I think it would be better to be able to be OK even if you fail.
There is a Zen word called affliction, or bodhi.
Many Zen explanation books give incorrect explanations,
It means “the thought itself that came out in my heart is indistinguishable from affliction or bodhisattva in the first place.”
Humans are the ones who naturally come out no matter what kind of thoughts they have.
Thoughts that come up naturally come out as information along with relationships due to TV news experiences, and there is no crime. It becomes a problem because it links to something bad and develops it as the next thing. You should be able to pave a bright path by living a life without linking or unraveling the thoughts that came up automatically there and not bully yourself with your own feelings. Take care.

Kaka

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

Thank you very much for reading hasunoha, and it is very precious to see that you are also studying Buddhism in various ways.

Well, first of all, it's about being disappointed and regretful due to worry, but I think Amano's answer will be really helpful when it comes to the question of motives for good deeds.

Next, it is said that “I want to live peacefully and correctly,” and as you can see in the question below, we really want the “middle way” way of life called “eight shodo” (right opinion, right thinking, proper language, proper work, right life, right devotion, sincerity, correction) (http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/八正道).

Question “For mental health”
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/1002997509.html

The content of the “Eight Shodo” is extremely obvious at first glance, and you may think that it is pretty simple, but in fact, I know that it is very difficult to put it into practice after truly understanding the rationale behind this “right.”

This is especially because our understanding of what is truly “right” is often hindered by our own selfishness, complacency, discrimination, prejudice, obsession, etc.

Therefore, we believe that it is necessary to carefully handle exactly what criteria should be used to determine its “correctness.” As a basis for this, of course, it is hoped that “correct” standards will be clarified by mainly relying on Buddhist scriptures. In particular, I know that it is important to establish it through the three teachings of the Three Kei of Honshi Shu and Kei Kei Kai.

As one of the prescriptions I'm looking for this time, I think it would be good to not just read the contents of Hasunoha or Buddhism-related books, but also to be able to search for a teacher (teacher) who can actually confirm it, and be taught Buddhism under the guidance of that teacher, in order to deepen understanding of what is “right” and adjust actions.

I pray for good deeds.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho