About my current husband's past

(-_-;) I'm very sorry because it's someone else's affair, but when I heard the story, I couldn't believe it. That said, you don't have to doubt it either.
In the first place, it would be better to think that people who have broken social rules for over 10 years have no real remorse.
She's a narcissist who gets pleasure from being needed by women here and there.
That's probably self-love, even if love is love. Please be aware that both you and other women are so talkative and have an aura of arrogance that will deceive you.
People themselves, who have had an affair, are still not people worth believing.
As long as I'm not an idiot, I quickly pull myself away from crime. A person who has had an affair for 10 years or more is a sure criminal. It's probably human nature where you don't feel sorry or anything even if you hurt your partner's family one day. After all, people who insult infidelity are people who don't have that kind of blood, regardless of gender.
I think your instincts are right.
Even so, the fact that they have an obsession means they're probably very attractive men... but... eventually, they're both grandparents. Let's choose someone who is more homely now.
I'll check my phone right away at night. Once proof comes out, let's leave evidence so that we can have a smooth divorce at a later date without getting emotional on the spot ♡
Or, you can honestly say “I'm sorry, I can't believe it after all,” and if you look at his reaction, you'll know if it's a lie.
If you don't seem to reflect on your past at all at that time, or if your reaction is in a way that makes you feel discouraged, then that level of humanity is human. Adulterous people are the type that can only think about themselves, so it would be better to think about old age and break up anyway.
It's hard to live in the midst of unbelief, doubt, jealousy, and instability.
Trying to own him in the first place would be better if he graduated first.
Why did I remarry? Financial aspects of raising children? from my loneliness? from future anxiety? Is there any need to go that far and continue to be married to this person?
Conclusion: Cut out the farewell story once, watch his reaction, determine, and see through if there is a lie.
Even if the existence of a woman is discovered, they accept that “you've always been like that, so I'm not surprised,” and they break up quietly without conflict.

　Rui, what are you doing in a good year? Aren't you feeling like a student? I'm already in my 30s, so can't you tell the difference between good and bad things and whether men are good or bad? This has been the case since we first met, and I think I want him to change, but no matter what we do now, it won't be that easy to change. Imposing a mental burden on such things is a waste of physical strength. It would be nice if you were going to be in a relationship for the rest of your life, but since they got married, that's probably their intention... Isn't it harder being a kid than that? Speaking of age 19, it's time to decide on future career paths, and speaking of age 9, it's time to reach puberty. There are also children who would look like women if they were girls. Considering your burden, I don't think my current husband is really good at home, but what about?
If you're in your 30s, the income aspect is also important when choosing a man, but I think people who value living ability and family and are aware of common sense are good. But I wonder if women fall in love with men who have an affair like this. I don't know how much bitterness I've been licking until now. When I was a student, no matter how I looked at it, even though he was a man who cheated, he was good at speaking, and is there an appeal that attracts women? I've only been taken by women I like by men like that. I felt like it was fine for a woman to be a man like that. Are men better at speaking well than being serious or polite? Ladies, please tell me.

Ruisama
Nice to meet you, my name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an, thank you for your support.

You are suffering because you are distrustful of your remarriage partner's actions up until now. When I focus on myself and think about it, I think how hard and difficult my days are going to be, and I feel that my heart is also pierced. They often talked to me about that painful feeling. First of all, I would like you to accept your feelings firmly.

What I want to say on top of that is that my husband chose Rui. I don't even want to confront my affair partner directly with that husband, break up with them, and be together.
I think Rui and her have made up their mind that they want to be together, including their two children.

That said, I also think it's difficult to completely get rid of your husband's infidelity or the feeling of not being able to settle down in one place. I'm only 1 year old, but there are times when my husband is younger, and I think it would be easy if I had enough feelings to think that the number of children has increased by 1, but is that an impossible consultation?

I'm trying so that Rui can live as peacefully as possible, with the feeling that I'm half believing and half letting her swim.

Rui-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

When it comes to cheating and infidelity, of course, they are considered bad deeds (bad acts) in Buddhism, so they must be strongly admonished. I am dealing with this in the following question.

Question “To a friend who is worried about their spouse's affair...”
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/1002964052.html

“... In Buddhism, it is important to sincerely repent and repent by being ashamed even if you have committed a bad act. By not making the same mistakes again and striving for good deeds (keeping the precepts and acts of altruism and mercy as acts to actively benefit others), it is hoped that bad deeds up until now and in the future will be destroyed. The question is how much tolerance we should be...”

Of course, infidelity and cheating are generally recognized as bad acts and contrary to morality, ethics, dignity, and chastity.

Also, legally, a violation of the duty of chastity as a basic obligation between a married couple also falls under the act of infidelity due to divorce (Civil Code, Section 770 (1) (1)).

Also, in the past, the presence or absence of a physical relationship is the most contentious issue with this act of infidelity, but in the judgment issued by the Osaka District Court in March, a compensation order (payment of 440,000 yen) was issued even when there was no physical relationship. Of course, the other side is appealing against the judgment, so the judgment in the higher instance is also pending. In the future, attention will be paid to whether this “platonic affair” will also be recognized as an act of infidelity.

Now, as for Rui's husband this time around... if they still have a physical relationship, this is an obvious act of infidelity, and it is a reason for divorce reasons and claims for damages due to mental distress. In this case, appropriate action should be taken.

Even if there is no physical relationship, if the “platonic infidelity” act described above still continues, there is a possibility that it will be recognized as an act of infidelity earlier.

For the time being, I think it would be better for you to know a little bit about the above for the future.

I sincerely pray that your husband's infidelity will not take place in the future.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho