About grief

Good evening.

It looks like you've been using this site,
I understand that you have already received a lot of advice.

Two full years have passed quickly since my mother's death three times passed.
I can only fathom how An-Kuma-san feels.
Probably because I think I would be in a similar state of mind if you were in your position.

The thing I admire about my parents is that if there is someone who is just a mother control,
They are people who can only be thought of like that, so you should leave them alone.
I think my mother, who was loved so much by my child, is happy.
And above all else, I think it's time to become a Buddha and hope for the happiness of my child.

I think you know the fact that your mother passed away
I think they're trying their best to accept it.
I understand that the speculative act of accepting is painful.
Whether it lasts 2 years or 3 years... I think it's different for each person.
I'm not asking you to stop thinking like that right now.
This is because I think that act itself is my child's love for the mother.

However, one day there must come a time when you can go from “accepting” to “accepting.”
It's painful to accept the facts,
Acceptance is painless.
It seems like I've said it many times,
Someday, there will always come a day when acceptance will come.
Please keep that in the corner of your heart.

The Buddha's mercy is no different; it does not accept the suffering of us ordinary people,
The Buddha is an entity that accepts our suffering.

You don't have to be nervous or sick.
When you're sad, you're sad.
You don't have to wipe it off...

Nice to meet you, I'm Ohashi. My mother passed away, and I'm so sorry.
I also served the 3rd anniversary of my mother's death last year. I was a mother and child, and I was a mother of everything. It took a lot of work. I was worried too. I was living alone after my father passed away, but dementia also came up, and I took him to his own
We lived together. At the end, he went to a geriatric hospital and died at the hospital. I couldn't give up on my mother's last day either. I arrived at the hospital 5 hours after taking my last breath, and when I took my last breath, I heard that they were out of breath, and I cried a lot inside the hospital without worrying about shame or external hearing. That made me feel refreshed. It's sad, but I was able to safely hold the wake and funeral. Even now, when I look at portraits, I still burst into tears. I almost burst into tears while writing this sentence. It's a parent and child. But around this time, my sorrow began to slide with my memories. I've come to think that the last thing I remember with my mother is a funeral.
When you're lonely, when you're sad, please shed tears in front of the Buddha. It's natural since they're human children.
Then put your hands together and make a memorial service. I'm sure they'll be delighted.
It's just about time for a sad memory, but please keep it in your heart as a memory of your mother.
I'm making that kind of effort, too.

It may be a misunderstood expression, but the greatest memorial service for a mother is not to live only with one's own feelings. It means that your mother lived in this world as a parent of a human child, raised a person named you to that point, and passed away from this world.
Your mother must have looked up to you as a mother's child.
Your mother, who gave you life, must have entrusted it to you as a living being.
That is religion.
That you live your life.
Also, spare no effort to improve relationships with others.
To direct a mother's love to others.
There must be a way of life desired in order to live in this world.
It's about facing your inner mother, purifying each other, and forgiving each other.
There is a term sensitive road traffic.
Please value not only just making offerings, but also talking so that your emotional exchange, conversation, and relationship with your mother will be the best.
If you don't live only by your own feelings, it means you won't fall into a self-mindset of “I think it was like this,” “it might be like this,” and “it might be like this.”
In Saitama, rice is scattered on graves. Rice is also used as a memorial service for the deceased, but it is also a symbolic act of making a memorial service and letting go of Shari (remains = desire to keep it close to the deceased). If you are guided by your mother's deep love and spread the love you have received from your mother to many people, you will give birth to a mother who will live forever in this world. The fact that Osho's missionary activities and strengthening activities for believers spread mercy and love also has that kind of meaning.

An Kuma-sama
I'm Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an, haven't been here in a while.

He said that he had been sick since he was young, and that it caused him a lot of trouble because of his worries.
However, no matter how healthy Ankuma was or how well she was living, I think her mother was still worried. That is the existence of parents, especially mothers.

There is a picture called “Shaka Nirvana (Shakane Hanzu).” It depicts a scene where Buddha passes away, and Buddha's mother is written in the sky. The mother is said to have died 7 days after giving birth to Buddha. They were probably in their 20s.

Then, 80 years later, when they attained enlightenment and their son, who was far older than him, passed away, they lamented and worried about it, and came down to deliver the elixir from the celestial world. Even the Buddha is worried about his mother.

I passed away alone, refused life-prolonging treatment, and couldn't say thank you at the end of the day. Regrets may be unbearable, but I think Ankuma's mother smiles in the Buddha's world saying, “Don't worry about that, stay well.”

It's about feelings of sadness.
How many years did you spend with your mother and An-kuma in this world? It's been decades, hasn't it? How can the grief of losing such a person be erased in a year or two?
I think you can take your time any number of years. Please take your time to accept it.