What do we live for.

There's someone I've been in a relationship with for about 10 years.
He's in Kanto, and I'm in Shikoku.
We both love our work, and we love our family. I myself had a position at the company, and I was also worried about leaving my parents, so I somehow put off talking about marriage.

Meanwhile, I had a child two years ago, and I wonder if this is the timing. I was quick to notice the child, and I thought I'd report it after a little while, and my growth was confirmed, so I continued to work. While I was spending my time doing that, my junior had an accident, and I wasn't able to come to work for a while.

Due to that entanglement, I have become more mentally and physically busy than ever before, and my child's condition has become unstable. The hospital told me to take a few days off if possible and rest as much as possible, but since my juniors can't come to work, it will interfere with my work if I take a break. I also talked to him and was told that I would leave it up to me to decide what to do.

I hadn't reported it to the company yet, and I can't cause trouble to my other juniors. But it was something I was blessed with. After much thought, I got a job, and my child had an early miscarriage.

What was my decision? It seems that he had told his parents about his child, and when he thought about them, his sense of regret grew, and he didn't understand what was what. And last year, I took advantage of my holidays to visit 88 locations in Shikoku.

It is also said that early miscarriages are unavoidable. But it might have been helpful if I had taken my own. Neither he nor his family blame me. It made me go to the hospital alone, and it made me feel tough. Furthermore, they tell me that their desire to be together has become stronger.

I'm glad I was able to go around 88 places, touch various people and things, and spend a meaningful time. However, I am still at a loss as to whether my judgment was good at that time. We're both old, and we're worried about whether it's okay to continue our relationship. What are we going to live for now? I can't see the answer.

6 Zen Responses

Everything to live in the present

I think it was a tough decision and a lot of trouble.
Once again, thank you for your hard work.

No one knows whether that decision was right or wrong.

However, it is an unmistakable fact that Akami is living like this now, and it is correct.
Were water children raised?
Being offered a memorial service for that child and being able to live until that child
It may be the right thing for your child and for the life you've been given.

You can't change the past, but you can change what you mean by the past, right?

Akami-sama who is alive today is unmistakably a proper life
Rather than using that life for something that cannot be changed, use it for something that can be changed.

not in the past
The person who is around Akami right now
By looking at the world where Akami is now
You might be able to find out what to live for.

And that may be the reason for life.

Gassho

That child's death will help you live!

　Death, sooner or later, is the same death.
I don't know how many days Akami spent in her tummy,
No matter how short his life was, for that child, his whole life was right.

The question is how those left behind will accept the death of that child.
Right now, Akami is facing her life due to that child's death, isn't she?
That's important.
Whether death is a meaningful death or a useless death
It depends on whether those left behind will have a rich heart based on that death.
Being sad and worrying are heartwarming things.

If that child's death helps Akami live,
Even a short life in a tummy is a really, really precious life.
It is that child's wish for Akami to live a rich life.

Hmm, that changes the story a little bit,
Isn't it true that Akami says “I want to go to his place”?
That kind of atmosphere is conveyed from the sentences...
What if ↑ in response to this “yes!” If you think about it,
I think it would be better to take the plunge and go to his place.
Whichever you choose,
It makes sense for Akami to follow the path she chose herself.

Why don't you take marriage seriously?

Akami-sama, how is your physical condition now, including your mind?
Have you actually met and talked to him recently?

Even though the results were disappointing, the fact that you have conceived a child once
I think it was an opportunity to seriously think about “marriage”?

Even though it's a long distance, we've been in a relationship for 10 years, and they are adults who can understand each other in terms of age.
Even though you're struggling with remorse right now, it's also true that you had children.
I think that child would most like to have a strong bond between the two of them.

Your past judgments may have been wrong, but now you are alive.
There are also people who love each other and are close to each other.
Have serious discussions with him about getting married, talk with him and Akami's family,
I think you should decide what to do with your work and life situations.
Your child will also want the two of you to be together.
Don't waste the messages your child left (that existed on your own)!

What is the probability of being born as a person in this world

According to research by Professor Emeritus Murakami Kazuo of the University of Tsukuba
What is the probability of being born into this world as a human
“The same miracle as winning the 100 million yen lottery 1 million times in a row”
That's it.
How likely are you to meet him in this world?
I think you can see that it's a miracle now.
If you can feel that it is a miracle that you are in this world now, you will find the meaning of living naturally.
Don't run away from worrying about your own thoughts.
The more you run away, the more your worries will not go away, but they will get bigger and bigger.
They say, “The quality of life is determined by the quality of questions you ask yourself.”
If you keep asking yourself questions, you'll naturally find answers.

This is so that everything will disappear.

What do you live for?
This is so that you can stay calm even if you continue to lose your mind in your life.
To put it bluntly, this is because your last impression of your life makes you think “oh, I was happy” and “I was sure.” To do that, it's about learning about yourself and ❝ brightening ❞ your relationships.
It's life that continues right now, even if it's just because you've gone through 88 or more encounters, judgments, and thoughts after 88 days of going through 88 places, isn't it? That wasn't the end of it, though. There are mountains and valleys in life... and as a result, after that... right now. Things that don't go the way you want will continue. The flow of life continues even after you make decisions of “regret” and “regret.” Depending on how you live, you may also think “I'm glad I'm alive.”
If you live only to get married or raise children, that's not the case when it comes to whether people who can't have children or don't get married are worthless.
Whether it's for yourself, for others, or for the world, you don't know exactly what to do for yourself, your partner, and the world until that time comes.
Therefore, you will not be swayed by gains and losses in the future, and you must reveal yourself in order to live your best life.
To follow Buddhism is to follow the path of enlightenment and the best way to live.
To follow the path of enlightenment is to take a close look at your current state and not be fooled by your own thoughts of gain or loss. No matter how much you learn something that seems like Buddhism in the distance, it's nothing.
That's because I can't put my own place and do anything else like Buddhism.
There is no need to be chased by the fact that something has to be done, and everyone lives a full 24 hours that are given equally.
If it's normal, live a life full of mediocrity.
If it's normal, live a big ordinary life.
It's not boring. This is because even if something similar to you happens to me, I am happy to live a lot of mediocrity and great mediocrity right now.
Today is today, after you made the worst dead-end decision ever.
Judging what was good or bad about you will continue even after you reach today.
Please make a firm decision that will greet you with a smile at the end, and live a way of life where you think this is good.

Face “life” sincerely

Akami-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Miscarriage... it was really painful and sad.

This world is an auspicious world made up of relationships... there are many difficult things if relationships don't work out... that child may have lived for only a few days, but it is certainly an unmistakable fact that they appeared in this world as two children. Please think of it as making me notice something important. Of course, it may still be difficult, but eventually I was able to feel that way, and I was thankful for it, offered a memorial service, and was able to overcome it.

Of course, that awareness will be different from person to person, but I believe that each has a great deal to gain by sincerely facing “life.”

If the bond between the two has deepened even more since this time, it is truly thanks to that child. By all means, I hope you will take a positive view of your marriage, new life, and next pregnancy and delivery, and that you will have a good relationship as much as possible.

Even if you try to find the reason by searching through this and that in the past, there is nothing you can give a clear answer to, and even if you follow the flow of countless relationships, it's not something that can reliably capture the reality of something like this... It's difficult, but if you explain it in a Buddhist way, it's because in this world called “empty,” nothing exists as an entity.

Anyway, I hope you can look forward and move forward at least a little while without being bound by the past forever. As an experienced person, I have now spoken to Mr. Akami.

Also, if you don't mind, I hope you can watch the movie “Born” with someone you are in a relationship with. We will be participating in independent screenings nationwide, so be sure to check them out when they are held nearby.

http://www.umareru.jp/umareru/

I would be happy if my poor answer was an opportunity for you to notice something.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

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