I'm worried that I've lent money to my boyfriend

Good morning, Gaako-san.
From the questions, I can tell you how anxious and unbearably anxious you are.
I'm saying something important here.
The world is full of “anxiety.”
That's why people look for peace of mind.
So where is peace of mind?
It's only in your heart.

I have friends and acquaintances around me who have been married three times and are living an enviably happy life.

Who do you think you should marry to be happy?
　　

That guy is a complete pimp.
In terms of fish, I'm a black shark type who uses a woman's motherhood to work and eat with a left tufted fan. Congrats.
Eventually, while you're off to work, they'll make other women contribute, so he's fine even if it's not you. In order for you to get your money back without breaking up with him, you have no choice but to write a three-volume set of “You Can Be a Pimp,” “Zero Eternity Savings,” and “The Man Called Gigolo” for men, and guess them.
Pimps are good at praising women, pouring love, reassuring them, and making them contribute.
Strings are strings because they don't make your opponent think you're deceiving them.
The victims of Pimp and Heron also don't want to think or affirm that they have been deceived, so even if I say this, it's a mechanism where you don't think your opponent is a pimp man.
Many women who pay tribute to pimp men are relied upon by their opponents, making them think that I have to protect them, and a large amount of caregiving energy is secreted. The laziness is part of the appeal.
Marriage is impossible. In the first place, men without money are not allowed to get married even overseas. This is because they are not qualified to raise children. There are only dramas about Aida no Nanda.
If you don't have money, kids feel poor, pimps don't work, and they literally feel awkward because they're just pimps.
Today's Japan would not be able to live without money. Clean things don't work.
Break up quickly and marry a man with money!! That's it. 🙍

Gaaako-sama
Nice to meet you, my name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.

My first impression after reading the question is that Gaako may have been deceived by him. Whoever reads it will think so. And no matter who reads it, they'll think you should break up with him for now.

First, I was in my mid-30s to 40s, got into debt from a friend, and then I borrowed money from her in order to pay it back (in the name that might be a lie)... Why don't you take a look at him with a slightly sober eye?

... But even when I hear such opinions, I don't honestly think “Yes, that's right.” It has a history up until now, it's not like they don't have love, and they lend money...

It's your life, isn't it?
They said they had a hard life after being deceived by a bad man.
Isn't that fine, even if you can't get married or have children?

... sorry, that was a lie.
Certainly, there may be women who do their best for sloppy men and feel a sense of happiness because of that.
But I don't want that to happen to you.

As Gaako said, I think money is important too.
But what is more important than that is mutual trust.
I think it is only when there is a sense of trust that the two of them can join forces and do it.
Even if you have money, if you don't have a sense of trust, the pain will only increase.

One more thing.
While I was having trouble with him, a classmate who might have a crush on Gaako showed up. Your heart is shaken by your feelings for that classmate. But he and his classmates should think about it as a separate issue. If you make a mess, I don't think you'll be able to make a good decision.

Gaako-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

“I think marriage requires love, but I also think money is important.” ... I really feel desperate...

I often hear the words “if you only have love, what money...” and “if you don't have money, if you only have love...”, the reality is that no matter what you do in actual life, you honestly can't do anything without anything that comes before you.

In short, it is important to maintain a balanced relationship in everything. Love alone is no good, and money alone is no good. In Buddhism, it is recommended to eliminate getting caught up in one side to the extreme, obsessing over it, and getting bogged down. This is called “Nakamichi,” and until now, it has been handled with the following questions.

http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/tag/中道

Debt and money loan issues also need balance relationships, in other words, determine the balance of income and expenditure, and those who lend must also return them.

This is just a guess based on reading a little bit of the content, but it seems like that boyfriend lacks a sense of balance in various ways. Naturally, of course, we won't lend any more money, but although the money you lent isn't a matter of amount, it may be a good idea to give up on half of it in order to avoid unnecessary trouble or personal danger in the future...

If you lend and borrow poorly, you may be hit by a ridiculous disaster even for a really small amount, so I believe that careful judgment will be required.

In order not to cause trouble a little further, it may be necessary to have various preventive lines set up through third parties.

Anyway, I know this is an opportunity for me to honestly face my honest feelings once again.

We have dealt with “happiness” in the following questions, so please refer to them for a moment.

http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/tag/幸せ

I wish you happiness.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho