Absolutely unforgivable

Kon-san

You look so angry. Good evening.

Now, all of a sudden, the story gets bigger,
The reason why Buddhists have lived peacefully until now is because Buddhism is the religion they gave up.

Once upon a time, Buddha was the prince of a certain country.

However, even if my country was later destroyed, I did not take revenge.

There is such a word in Buddhism.

“Resentment is not fulfilled by resentment; resentment can only be fulfilled by acting in patience”

Let's say Kon-san continues to hold a grudge.

1 year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years...

Perhaps after a few years, your partner will even forget that they have a grudge against Kon-san.

But what if Kon-san still has a grudge...

Isn't that stupid?
It's as if Kon-san was left alone without permission due to a spell given to him by his opponent.

So let's say they take revenge.
Then, this time, my opponent has a grudge against Kon-san. And they might get revenge again.

Also, Kon-san has a grudge against her this time.

That infinite loop might go on for a long time.

So, these are the words I just said.

“Resentment is not fulfilled by resentment; resentment can only be fulfilled by acting in patience”

Shinobi means to endure and endure.

Now, if you can hold back, the infinite loop just now won't start.
Also, they won't continue to hold grudges.

Furthermore, if they become indifferent after that, Mr. Kong wins.

Therefore, when it comes to resentment, the first thing to do is to put up with it.

And if you become indifferent, Mr. Kong, you don't have that person in your world anymore.

Good morning, ○○-san.
I read the question.
Exactly, it's an “offense (false).”
This desire is necessary for living.
However, as “too much is too long” suggests, it shouldn't be too big like you. I'm going to get others involved too.
It is often said that worries should be “destroyed,” but the correct way is to “control” them.
(See Nakamura Hajime's “Heart Sutra Kongo Hannya Sutra” (Iwanami Bunko wide edition) p31)
Kobo Daishi says, “There is no extinction without life, and there is no life beyond extinction.”
(See Nakamura Hajime's “Heart Sutra Kongo Hannya Sutra” (Iwanami Bunko wide edition) p27)

What you need now is to let go.
Open your clenched fist slowly over and over again.
In this way, let go of your lies.
If you do that, you'll definitely be thankful that you were born into this world as a human being!!
I definitely want them to live as people.

Hello, Mr. Kong.

There are people you can't forgive. You're spending time fiddled with confusion and mommon, thinking, “I'll take revenge on that person or family.”

Is Kon so obsessed with “that person”?

Honestly, it would be fun. I think a lot about how to get revenge. I'm having a hard time thinking.
It's so much fun to worry about fuss and mommon.

But that fun is a waste of time.
You will definitely not be able to forgive your past self, saying “I want you to return the time I've been envious of.”

The more I think I can't forgive, the more I begin to think, “I thought this much was unforgivable, so if I didn't do something, it would be great.”
And they usually fail.
Whether you succeed or fail, you'll definitely regret “I want you to return the time I've been envious of.”

There are so many more fun things in the world.

Anger in Buddhism, how do you think about things and people you can never forgive...
It's fine. Let's leave what Mr. Kong is thinking about right now as a problem you don't need to worry about.

The last-minute comic “Mataro is Coming!!” by Fujiko Fujio A Do you know the revenge manga?
“Should we keep this envy going!” This is a sensible line.
The main character, Mataro-kun, is always bullied, but he always takes revenge at the end.
“Should we keep this envy going!” but “Can't you see this crest!” It's a gong where the villain is rattled and revenge begins. If you read it from the victim's point of view, I think the “samma-milo effect” makes you feel refreshed in two dimensions, so rather than actually taking revenge and getting arrested, let's solve it with money ♪ be sure to buy it on Amazon. “Should I leave this comic alone!” (; °°°)
However, in this comic, Mataro-kun, who is bullied every time, is also unlucky, but the bully side faces more misfortune every time. When it's bad, I'll turn your opponent into a “Buddha!” They even kill by mistake.
The content is an exciting revenge story that surprised even Chushingura, but since it's out in modern times, the first edition where the story or lines have not been removed costs 20,000 yen per book online. If you read it in childhood, the answers will be laid-back and there is a risk that the answers will be skipped, so be careful when reading. “Should I skip this long sentence!” (; '･ω･)
But what about after you've taken revenge for the grudge that was done in the real world? If you kill your opponent in the name of revenge, this time you will be scolded by your partner's parents and siblings, right? If you get killed, your family will suffer too.
In the end, the way you move the mentality of resentment will only become a negative chain that will continue to create “victims,” including you, going forward.
If you are complicit in creating a negative chain that creates the same sad victims as you, you will eventually become similar to your opponent. Therefore, in conclusion,
One is not to hurt someone you resent and make them a victim.
Another thing is that you don't become a ❝ victim ❞ from your opponent. ※Don't be victim-conscious.
“Should we keep our victim mentality from the bottom of our hearts!” 🙍 This is Buddhism.
Resentment doesn't clear up an opponent by winning or losing.
The true nature of that resentment is one's own reason, self-consciousness.
Discerning that the sense of victim you are creating is an illusion within yourself and becoming free from there is Buddhist revenge and healing.

　Kon-san, for the time being, it is forbidden to hold grudges in Buddhism according to the Ten Commandments. Please check it out later.
I've made the right argument up to this point, and the feeling is that if humans are alive, everyone will have that feeling. In “Grudge House Honpo,” “Hell Girl,” and the drama “Alice's Thorn,” etc., there will be a revenge drama where people who have done terrible things make readers feel exhilarated. “Hanzawa Naoki” was also his father's revenge drama after all. After watching them, do you think you'll do it yourself? Apparently, Japan has a tendency to glorify revenge.
There are a lot of people who want revenge on eagles, too. I really want to kill the person who bullied me. I don't know how many times I thought that. But one day, when I was told that bullies had a high suicide rate after becoming adults, my mind settled down quite a bit. I wonder if there are more people who bully rather than people who are bullied for their true weakness. Looking back on myself, it's a statement not typical of a monk, but I feel that I was able to endure minor setbacks, probably thanks to being bullied when I was a kid. I think I was able to somehow overcome what everyone thought was hard and painful. I don't appreciate the person who bullied them, but I sympathize with them.
A word from me: “People suffering from bullying don't commit suicide no matter what happens. There is no one more glorious than you guys.”
Conclusion: Stop taking revenge. There's no going back to what you've done, but think of it as being hit by a waterfall, and you've gained confidence that you can endure any hardship in the future. If you live in a positive way, that is revenge against that person. Well, take it easy and be patient.

Kon-sama
Nice to meet you, my name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an.

When I saw the title “Absolutely Unforgivable,” I was surprised by that strong feeling. Exactly how much pain did you feel? I also have a feeling that one or two of anger or resentment... three or four... no, if I pick my heart over and over again, any number will come out.

But it's such a grudge that I think “I don't care about (your own) life, so I think directly, I'll take revenge on my family someday.” You must have had a really hard time.

I used to think that people who are monks or Buddhists should not have feelings of anger. However, at one point, I had the opportunity to listen to the puja of His Holiness the Dalai Lama of Tibetan Buddhism.

Surprisingly, the pope said, “There is anger that even Buddhists can have.” That anger was “when the other person is acting in a way that harms them, it is OK to have anger against that action.”

It's hard to understand, so in the parable, a small child approaches a hot stove and doesn't touch it right now. At that time, “it's dangerous!” They make a loud voice and hit and push that child away.

That anger is anger that springs from mercy to keep that child from getting burned, so they say it's okay to have it. They say we should have anger against wrong “actions.”
Simply put, I think it's a word with the same meaning as the proverb “hate sin and don't hate people.”

I am deeply troubled, angry, jealous, and resentful. But I also want to have a heart like the pope's words.
Mr. Kong. If you don't mind, why don't we walk that path together?

Kon-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Even anger, particularly intense anger, is called “shinni” (shinni) in Buddhist terms, and it is one of the three poisons of particularly affliction, and it is hoped that it will be dealt with firmly in the same way as greed (devouring) and complaint (foolishness, ignorance, ignorance).

Question “I can't forgive my relatives or the people who deceived me to take my money”
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/1002972089.html

From “Words of Inspiration: Udanavarga” (translated by Nakamura Hajime), Iwanami Bunko, Chapter 14, “Hatred”...

“Actually, in this world, if you repay your grudge with grudge, your grudge will never go away at last. By enduring it, resentment takes hold. This is an eternal truth.”

“A grudge will never subside depending on the grudge. The state of resentment will be calmed by the absence of grudge. It is acknowledged that appearing one after another as a result of resentment is unhelpful. Therefore, people who know sayings don't make grudges.”

“... In Buddhism, hate and resentment are afflictions, and acts controlled by such bad feelings eventually only bring bad results, so of course they must be reprimanded. In order to eliminate hatred and resentment, it is important to endure (patience haramitsu) and treat them by showing compassion.

Actually, in Buddhism, there are places where people think that they can proceed with ascetic practices only when there are things and things that make them suffer, and conversely, they are required to go beyond feelings of hatred and resentment by feeling grateful for such things and things, for example, by directing mercy even to enemies that harm oneself. ・・”

Rather than “revenge” due to anger, I would like to recommend “good fortune training” by working and encouraging good deeds through mercy.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho