funeral

It's a matter of life, life, and death.

First of all, you say “I don't want to do my own funeral,” but don't you think of your life as your own property?

and “Are there any denominations that have doctrinal problems if you don't have a funeral?” However, I think they have the feeling that it's because there is a penalty if you don't offer condolences, what do you think?

First problem. Your life is not yours. It was given to you by your parents, and those parents also received it from their parents. What gives one life is two lives, and those two lives are 4, plus 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256... I have received a baton touch of life from a tremendous number of ancestors, in other words.

The phrase “taking care of your ancestors,” as it is often said, means taking care of me.

A condolence issue. There is no physical guarantee or assertion that they cannot be done, such as being reborn in the Pure Land or being reborn as a good person.

Condolence means providing a place to thank, say goodbye, and listen to Buddhism for all the people you have met when you die, that is, the relationships that have formed your existence.

For example, you wrote on this site, and a relationship with me was born. Apart from whether you like it or not, you who didn't write here and you who wrote are different people. There are countless things like that in your life, and what exists due to relationships that go beyond such expectations is who you are right now.

Recently, neologisms such as family funeral have become popular, but I think that is a foolish act that cuts off the countless relationships that make up a person's life, makes that person's life itself light and small, and makes one not understand the weight and preciousness of life.

When you pass away in the Pure Land, you yourself are firmly accepting and aware of the fact that you have been born and kept alive through such countless relationships, and the words of that awareness will become you who can chant Namu Amida Buddha and that Namu Amida Buddha.

I think the desire to be tested is good, but I hope you can think deeply about life and life once again. Our school says, “Life is living for you now.” Life is the subject.

Gassho

　The funeral was properly held for the wake. They did not bow down until 3 years after the body was returned, and of course the ashes could not be buried, but they worked properly for the first week of their death. The Guru's intention to donate his body is precious, but that doesn't mean you don't have to do a funeral.

I think the funeral is not about whether or not you want the person who died to attend, but whether the people left behind want to attend that person's funeral. My parents also said, “I don't need a funeral,” but regardless of whether that is true or not, I would like to have a proper funeral. Is it OK if The Guru doesn't attend her parents' funeral?

A funeral is fundamentally different from a farewell ceremony.
Also, I personally don't recommend the fact that the part-time job room/chief priest of Kakusan Yama/Jusaiji Temple, where monks who don't know which horse bones are dispatched cheaply on the internet do funerals only in shape.
Anyone can read the sutras of lip service.
Funerals aren't just about having people read the sutras.
It is important who to ask for a “mentor,” who is a mentor for life that you will continue to be involved with for the rest of your life.
A mentor is a mentor in life, and if you don't have ❝ power ❞❝ insight ❞ that can lead the hearts of the deceased and bereaved families to enlightenment, that mentor is actually not a mentor of life, even if you can play a cosplay mentor in a funeral position. If you sing the sutras that make your mouth feel bad, you'll pay the offering and never meet them again. Are you convinced? It's the cost of the costume, that is.
It's never been this lousy.
Those seeking it should also seek the quality of monks.
A mentor is simply a cosplay monk unless he is someone who has the power to responsibly lead the deceased and bereaved families to a quiet heart, showing a world of nirvana that transcends life and death, even at funerals. That is especially tough in Zen Buddhism.
Therefore, the mentors and monks that are worthy of trust and should be relied upon are honshi, and the Guru are the people you should request a funeral for, and that temple should be the family temple.
The farewell party is just a farewell, and there is no care after that.
After that, since there are no memorial services, Obon, or the equinox, the opportunity for relatives to officially gather in the future, and the feeling of respect for the deceased will be lost. It also makes it easier to run into dry relationships and money principles.
Holding a funeral and collecting alms means contributing to the maintenance and protection of the family temple.
That's why the spirit of donor, danna, and dana (= original meaning of charity) is there even if it's not a body donation.
Funeral details
① Repentance... We repent with each other over our quarrels during our lives and awaken to a clean heart.
② Devotional Buddhism Monk... Respect the three treasures of Buddha (teacher), Dharma (teaching/reality), and monk (peace gathering) who save suffering, and use them as a source of strength.
③ Judo Sanju Purification... Three Vows of a Buddhist Disciple: Decide on Nausea, Live in Good Law, and Benefit Sentient Beings
④ The Ten Commandments... Ten Commandments for Living as a Buddhist Disciple
⑤ Conferring a legal name and lineage... receiving a dharma name and lineage as proof of a Buddhist disciple
⑥ Guidance... Put the deceased and attendees into a state of nirvana that transcends life and death.
⑦ Sutra Reading
⑧ Transition... A vow to spread merit and profit (riyaku) to people and the world

Good morning, Mr. The Guru.
Humans, not limited to Japanese people, repeat rituals from birth until death.
What is a “ceremony”? When asked, I think there are various answers.
I think “the way to live as a person” is also a ceremony.
If you think about funeral rites from this point of view, this is an act that only humans can do.
In other words, I think a funeral is “proof of living as a person.”
Also, I think it is necessary to consider “funeral” and “body donation” separately.
I think “body donation” is a precious act for the development of medicine.
I think Buddhism is also a teaching for living as a person.

　I think the fact that such questions are being asked means that “the teachings of Buddhism” and “the significance of funerals and memorial services” are not sufficiently conveyed in the daily activities of our monks. As a member of the monks, I think I have to reflect on it a lot.
However, at the same time, there are times when I feel sorry. As nuclear families progress, it means that home education has been neglected. In the old days, the head of the family lined up all members of the family, put their hands on the kamidana, and offered joint prayers on Buddhist altars. How many people are doing that kind of home education with their own hands right now? What kind of home education did you receive? If you explain it in more detail, I think I can give a more appropriate answer. If you don't agree, please let me know.

Previously, I wrote the following article on my blog. I think it will lead to an answer to your “question,” so please take a look.
“When people lose someone they care about, they grieve and worry about the fate of those who have passed away. By receiving blood from the family temple, those who died became Buddha's disciples and left for the Buddha's world. “Please do not hesitate to attain Buddhism.” I often hear this line in TV dramas such as ghost stories, etc., but “don't become an evil spirit and curse yourself.” It is sometimes said in the sense of meaning, but I think there are many cases where the feelings of sincerely wishing for the happiness of the dead in the next life are expressed.
A funeral will be held to send the deceased. What forms the center of that funeral is a ceremony called reprimand. I was given a commandment name, and I received my blood lineage. Then they set out on a journey to attain Buddhism. Through Buddhist funerals, they pray for happiness in the next life for those who are about to die, and at the same time give great peace of mind to those left behind. I think this is the wonderful culture that Japanese Buddhism has. http://blogs.yahoo.co.jp/dorinji/9175850.html”

On 2012/3/11, during the first anniversary memorial service for those who died in the Great East Japan Earthquake, I spoke a little bit with the bereaved families and attendees. “What are annual memorial services held for?” I talked about what I think about that on a daily basis in my own way. This is also posted on the blog, so please refer to the following URL. http://blogs.yahoo.co.jp/dorinji/33981146.html

Hello, Mr. The Guru.

It was said that they wanted to know the meaning of funerals in each denomination, so I would like to talk about the meaning of funerals that my forefather taught me in the Otani school of the Shinshu sect.

First of all, when you wake up, you take the place of the person who died, and there is a meaning of working instead of the evening work that that person gave you every day.
Buddhists work in the morning and evening, and this is a custom from India where the Buddha came.
When we all get together and practice, the Buddha's talk is held in the afternoon.
Before I go to bed in the evening after listening to the story, I will gather with a few friends and repeat today's story to make sure I haven't forgotten today's story.
Then, after getting along with each other, they sleep peacefully.
When I wake up in the morning, I check with my friends again to make sure I haven't forgotten it while I'm sleeping.
Then they went out to alms with peace of mind, ate in the morning, and it seems that they heard the Buddha's story again in the afternoon.
From now on, it became a habit to work in the morning and evening and come into contact with Buddhism.
I work that evening on behalf of those who have died and have a wake.

Next is the funeral, and I heard that this is a ceremony where the person left behind says their final goodbye to the person who died.
In the Jodo Shinshu sect, it is said that when they die, Amida Nyorai will welcome them and they will be born in the Pure Land of Paradise, where they will practice their own ascetic practices and become a Buddha.
This is my last farewell before leaving for the Pure Land.

The memorial service after that is to listen to the deceased, who became a Buddha, and Amida Nyorai, who made their father and mother into Buddha.
Therefore, we will remember the deceased and confirm whether we are now living the life desired by the deceased.
In the Jodo Shinshu sect, everyone who dies becomes a Buddha, so there is no memorial service from here on, and they are led by the person who became the Buddha.

Also, as Master Wada said, “death,” including a funeral, cannot belong to that person personally.
In the same big sense as “death” as an individual, a funeral is about facing “that person's death” for everyone involved with that person.
Your mother passed away, and you said that if you don't have a funeral, your relatives and neighbors will complain, and that's the case.
After a thorough discussion, I would like you to think about your own death, the death of your parents, and the death of your partner.

The Guru

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Until now, we have also answered the following questions about funerals.
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/cat_323682.html

Among them, I have stated that if you think about the “meaning of having a funeral,” you should think of it as one of the important opportunities to participate (participate) in a Buddhist or legal relationship.

Actually, I just uploaded the following humble comments on related matters the other day, so I've excerpted a few humble opinions from there, so please take a look. Thank you for your support.

A supplement to my humble personal opinion on funerals and funerals
http://blog.goo.ne.jp/hidetoshi-k/e/644562be202e5ab9e6208d8f6b7d6b96

・We see funerals and funerals as an important and important opportunity to establish a Buddha relationship (relationship with the Buddha) and a law relationship (relationship with Buddhism).

・Purpose The differences in the laws, manners, rituals, etc. of funerals and funerals are different in each sect, and I think that differences in the methods and means for establishing Buddhist relationships and legal relationships that are recited are also due to differences in the Buddhist scriptures they each rely on, and I think that the basic purpose of establishing Buddhist relationships and law relationships (to eventually lead to enlightenment) is something that does not change without much difference.

・Regardless of life or death, or the presence or absence of a physical body, I believe that by nourishing the bodhisattva heart and compassion in each mental continuum and mental succession, it is necessary to concentrate on good deeds and accumulate merits without committing misdeeds. We see funerals and funerals just as an opportunity for a Buddhist or legal marriage for that purpose.

・Rather, I believe it is desirable to have the opportunity to establish Buddhist relationships and legal relationships over and over again in this life, if possible, and to have them continue to practice bodhicitta and compassion over and over again in this life.

・・

As a final note, I know that the act of donating a body is a good act as an offering, and it may be a merit.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho