Is it OK to live like this?

Does that mean it?
There is something called a way to take responsibility.
Dying is nothing but evasion of responsibility. It's about being a coward.
Fortunately, you noticed that one step ahead.
Please think carefully about how to take responsibility in your own way.

I didn't understand the true meaning of the question, so I reread it about 3 times. I couldn't see what was bothering me.
Masu was able to raise her child well. I think I was able to finish a big job as a mother. Next is work, but as you age, it becomes difficult to find a job. Wouldn't it be better to take the time to search for it without being impatient? You've been able to work hard until now, so that's fine. Please rest your bones. No one is blaming you. Also, something fun. Why don't you try finding a hobby too? When a load falls off our shoulders, we think about extra things we haven't even thought about until now.
I understand your son's concerns; we play pachinko too. It's not enough to get into debt, but that doesn't change the fact that you can't stop. There will always come a time when you notice it. As a piece of advice, let them make a pachinko balance. How much did you spend and how much money did you make? You'll notice it soon. Until then, well, I may not be able to stop, but I have no choice but to watch. However, playing pachinko isn't a bad thing. It is good if you enjoy it within the limits of your income. Let's keep an eye on it.
On the other hand, I'm worried about your anxiety. I'm not overthinking it. If you think too much, please stop and contact us again. We are always happy to discuss it with you.

If children are away from home, they should be adults to some extent.
Then, my son's pachinko habit is his own responsibility.
It's not something for parents to worry about.
But even so, I was worried and uneasy, and the fact that I failed to raise my children is something I haven't been able to leave my children at all? I even think so.

They have similar personalities, because they are parents who raised them.
I was born into this world because Kumirin exists, and since she raised me, I was able to grow until I was able to leave home.
Praise your heart when you've done a good job! (I want you to take it as your child's voice)

Kumirin's denial of life is the same as denying her children.
If Kumirin passes away, your children will be unhappy, and please don't measure your child's happiness with Kumirin's monosaki.

And living isn't about being lazy.
If you repent that much, you can change your way of life.
Kumirin-san's lively life is above all else “future child-rearing.”

“Life isn't determined by how long you keep breathing. It's about how many heart-wrenching moments there are.”

Please live well.

To Kumirin-san

When I stay at home, I only think about uneasy things. You can forget about it first, even part time, so try working.

The results of raising children are not convenient for parents. If you raise them safely until the age of 20, that's the character for you. After that, it's up to you. You don't need to worry too much about it.

Life can be hard, but fun things always come. It's Mito Komon's song “If Life Is Easy, There Will Be Pain.” By the way, Kumirin realized, “This shouldn't be the case,” so it's fine now. From now on, please take on more and more challenges for your own life. You're sure to find a life that suits you. Gassho