I can't let go of my past guilt when I was in the water business

You have to do a lot of things in order to live, don't you think?
I don't think the water business is bad at all.
It may be taken lightly by some people, but let's relax.
There are probably cases where this is the only way for women to live alone. I think that was probably the case.
Apart from the new husband, please talk to your kids when they grow up. That is the way to live.
Please take pride in the life you have walked. There is nothing noble about the job.
Concerns about stalking behavior were also written from customers at the time, but there may be cases where it is unavoidable, but if it is beyond the scope of patience, let's talk to the police.
It's also a good idea to run to the temple as an opportunity to be consulted here. They should be able to consult with you. There are probably bad temples, but if you search for them, you'll find them.
Either way, don't drag on the past; separate it from what you can say with confidence.
Repent what you're not satisfied with in front of the Buddha and feel refreshed. On top of that, let's take a new step.
And please make an effort so that you can continue to enjoy the happiness you have just grasped for a long time.

The flower with the Buddha on it is a lotus flower.
Why lotus flowers?
That's because lotus flowers bloom from dirty mud.
Moreover, when it blooms, it doesn't have that mud on it.
It's shiny.

Tsumiki also spent time in the mud.
And they gave birth to a baby that shines like a lotus flower.
That baby also taught Tsumiki something important. How thankful!

But it's going to be tough for babies from now on.
I'm shiny now, but in order to grow, I have to spend time in the mud of the world...!
But don't worry, there is Tsumiki who grew up being rubbed a lot in the mud.
Isn't it possible to help babies by teaching them the important things they've learned so far so they don't struggle in the mud!

So you won't suffer from guilt.
Parents and children can still make beautiful lotus flowers bloom together (^o^)

Tsumiki-sama

I took a look at your concerns.
Well, as you said, I also understand the feeling of denying oneself.
It looks like you've been reflecting for 12 minutes; you can't completely break the past, but nothing changes even if you look back.

The baby's eyes were really white, and I felt the same thing when I saw those eyes.
Even though they were so pure and clean when they were born, I really wondered when they had become so dirty. This question reminded me once again that it was not just me, but that all people living in this world, politicians and criminals, should have been born equally clean and pure white. Thank you very much.

You can't be saved if you're bound by the past when you were in the water business, so as you've noticed, please spend every moment in the here and now. Learn from the past and apply it to the future. This is the only one.
Please pour true love and mercy into the things you can do your best right now, your lovely children, your husband, and your immediate family if you are well. In the future, I think we will be saved by not lying to ourselves.
It is said that it is written to invent the heart, and it is said that “starting heart” or “Hatsu Bodaishin” continues with “ascetic practice,” “nirvana,” and “bodhi.” From now on, it's ascetic practice, so please practice good deeds.
It is not a strict practice that everyone imagines; it is an ascetic practice that gives comfort and security not only to oneself, but to others. In other words, please build a kind, warm, and peaceful family where you can always feel safe without lies.

I don't know if this will be helpful, but I'm sorry for the long answer. Gassho

First of all, the job called the water business you used to do... it's an occupation called the hospitality business where there is demand from men, and now that money has been generated.

Since there are various occupations, society is turning gears well.
The water business also has a role in the water business.

They were doing their best by improving their body and mind like a pestle.
Wouldn't it be nice if they had a little more confidence in the job they had?

I presume that you yourself have thought about and been worried about the lies you have told until now, the sense of guilt due to the fact that you have hurt people, etc., and suffering due to various mental pains until now.

As you say, I can't change the days that have passed. There is no choice but to look forward.
But aren't you already starting to look forward with a vow that you want to be honest with people and that you want to be kind to people?
You have a husband and children to love and protect.
Let's just walk forward (^-^)

I'm sending you two Zen words.
One is “leg care, shouko”
Not only do you look back on the past, but what you can do now while looking ahead is to pour a lot of love with all your might on your husband and even your children. This is more important than anything else.
Raising children in particular is a precious time full of things that can only be done now.
I want them to have a firm focus on children and enjoy raising children even though it may be difficult.

For two, “Red Heart Katase Shinhenpen”
You say that when a child was born cloudy, unstained, and innocent, I wonder when I became dirty, but it is true that this “red heart” means,
As we became adults, the innocent heart that everyone had when they were born was forgotten before I knew it,
They tell lies and hurt people, and they pollute their hearts more and more.
Once again, I would like you to look back at your heart and live your everyday life from now on with the words “a piece of red heart” of “doing your best to others.”
These two words are put into action, and you should gradually peel away the dirt that stuck in your heart, and the sense of guilt you have felt until now!
Please do your best to raise children!