About having children

Ruri-sama
Nice to meet you.
They say they want to walk the Buddha's path and the path of Buddhism.
Whether you have children there or not, you won't lose that path.
If you don't want kids, that's fine.

If your partner wants kids, it may be quite natural to think about breaking up.
The reason that suffering was born is that I feel lonely due to my life up until now, that is, the comparison between the time I spent with him and now.
The only truth is that time is now. Know that what you can't see, the existence of the past or future, belongs to the world of imagination in your head.

Worries don't need to be thrown away either. When I tried to throw it away, I became obsessed and strangled. If you think about it, just like that. Don't grab it and let go.

There is neither good nor evil attached to things and thoughts. There shouldn't have been any problems at the beginning of the encounter. Since thoughts are added to it, it becomes a source of distress. If you don't have any problems from the beginning, you can let go from the beginning ^_^

It's lonely to break up, but it's a feeling that will disappear if you keep an eye on the life in front of you. Comparing with the past and with people can only lead to negative results.

It's great to be aware that life is hard.
Suffering is basically painful.
Encounters are painful, and breaking up is also painful.
Perhaps it is life where suffering (pain) clings to it while changing its shape and intensity.

If you're alive, your suffering won't go away; it's just that the shape changes.
There are things that are at least somewhat painful for everyone, even for Buddha.

In his later years, Buddha continued his evangelism even though he suffered from back pain.
There are difficult things in life for me too.
But maybe the pain now is much better than the Buddha's lower back pain.
The Buddha also gives us the courage to live.

　 Certainly, Buddhism explains that this world is “difficult.” “Suffering” in Buddhism does not mean “painful,” “painful,” or “makes you feel bad,” and is originally used to mean “not going the way you want.”

Birth, old age, illness, death, encounters and breakups, other people's feelings, money, and assets don't all go the way you want them to. It's “suffering.”

Also, Buddhism's stance is not to accept that “suffering” as it is, but to search for the cause of that feeling, control it, and try to make it as easy as possible. If you say, “Life is hard. Understood. It's reassuring.” If you feel like that, there's still a long way to go in terms of Buddhism.

By the way, what caused you to feel that “living is painful”?
If you can remember the cause and adjust your feelings, you may feel like “I want my own children after all.”
Even so, I came to the conclusion that “I don't want to have children of my own,” and if you can't win your boyfriend's heart because of that, I think you have no choice but to think that “suffering = not going the way you want.”

If helpful, here too.
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/5216

It is true that living is painful.

The Buddha said that there are eight kinds of suffering.
This is called suffering.
life, old age, illness, death,
Love separates from love, hate, bitterness,
Unbearable hardship, great hardship,
These are the eight pains.

However, the Buddha's teachings are still at their first stage here. I'm still in the middle of teaching.
Actually, we have reached the fourth stage.
I'll give you a brief introduction.

The next teaching is called collection.
The teaching is that there is a cause for these suffering.

Also, the next teaching can be called extinction,
The teaching is that these afflictions can be destroyed.

The final teaching is called the way out,
The teaching is that there is a way to destroy this suffering.
This method was called the practice of the Eightfold Path.
The Eightfold Path is a method that can be understood not only by us monks, but also by the general public, and it is something we should strive for every day.
The content and practice of the Eight Shodo are difficult, but little by little, these elements are included in easy-to-understand Buddhist books such as those in bookstores and books written by monks, etc., so be sure to read various things.
Read it, and if the suffering is reduced, I think you should think about having children as well.
I'm still young, so I'll have to draw conclusions a little later. Why don't you tell your husband to think about it a little more too?