Relationship with the Deputy Chief Priest

Temples are a world I really don't understand, and I think it's uneasy.

But it's fine.

This is a story I often hear.

I don't know the size of the temple, but currently, it's usually just the older brother, and I think they help with memorial services such as special funerals, etc., and help with memorial services at temples on Saturdays, Sundays, and several times a year.

I don't think you need to quit your job.

However, you may not have to help with memorial services at temples, Higan, Obon, etc.

There are probably only things you don't understand, but it's fine if you learn them gradually; nothing is that difficult, so it's fine.

My wife worked at a hospital, but she managed to do it.

Well, there's nothing to worry about, just get to know him better, fall in love with him, and have a wonderful relationship.

I'm rooting for you.

It's natural to be worried like that.

Does your boyfriend live in a temple? Eventually, the eldest son's family will manage the temple, so it would be very difficult for the second son's family to live together there. If you're getting married, I think you should ask your boyfriend to leave your temple house and live a newlywed life in your new home. If both of us were public servants, wouldn't we be able to live on that salary alone?

This kind of thing is not limited to temples, and whether they are other self-employed or office workers, living together is always fraught with problems, so please have firm feelings for your boyfriend first.

　Think of this as the current state of temples. If you don't work part-time, it's difficult to maintain a temple. I think this second son is also doing a side job based on that. Perhaps they are thinking about whether to take over the temple when the eldest son is in danger, go to a temple where there are no other successors, help with temple work, and focus on side jobs. From my point of view, the siblings look like close siblings cooperating with each other, so I think it's okay to marry your second son without worry. If that were the case, I think it would be like living away from the temple or two households. I'll borrow your help when the temple is busy, so I think it's a good idea to gradually learn about the structure of the temple.
What is one way to learn about temple work
・Remember the annual schedule and memorize the flow of events (Eitai Sutra, prayers, general meetings, etc.)
・Remember believers, disciples, and believers.
・But number 1 remembers where the temple objects are. If you fiddle around without permission, it will be treated suspiciously, so we recommend memorizing while cleaning and organizing. This is how I learned my job during my training at the head temple. At first glance, it seemed like a long road, and it was the shortest route.
If I get married, my current work hours may decrease, but I don't think it's necessary to stop. Unless my second son says he wants him to quit... If you try it and find it difficult to balance it, please ask again at that time.
I think it's okay to worry to some extent, but if it's better to stop it, do it. The origin of eagles behavior is “if you get lost, do it.” That's it. It doesn't apply to everything, but...
　

(^<^) No matter how far you go, the essence of a human being is the essence of that person in a state where titles and positions have been abandoned.
Everyone is misled by titles and clothing, but since they are the same person as a monk, I recommend that you forget that you are a monk and look at the essence and humanity of that person.
You'd rather not quit your job. Your money is what you earn yourself.
Besides, by the way, the position of the second son's wife is weak.
Speaking from a rhetorical point of view, the eldest son's wife and mother-in-law reign supreme in a position like a sensei, so from the point of view of Japan's ancient constitution, they are treated as “the second son's wife doesn't come out loud.” ←On the contrary, I think this is an age where we should think positively, and conversely, we don't have to dwell on the contrary. ('･ω･)
Incidentally, I'm also the second son, and the temple I'm in charge of is very close to the temple where I was born.
I work and live at my parents' temple, but I have a lot of anxiety about the future.
My mother doesn't allow my wife to approach my parents' temple, so I think it's better to think that there is such a small world.
From dating to marriage is about raising children in the future.
The financial strength of the marriage partner is important. Like my temple, it's a temple with no parishioners or graveyards, and if you're the second son, you can't help but take care of other temples. There is also such a reality.
Financially, I will put my wife (wife) and children into trouble in the future.
There are monks who are in a position to maintain even in temples where they can't eat.
It's about making it specific, clear, and clear to what extent they should and shouldn't be involved. While helping with the temple, a couple of two boys are living in an unstable state of mind that their eldest son and his wife, who should be succeeded, are living abroad and they may come back. From the standpoint of a bride, the key is whether she can live a better life than a busy temple.
I recommend that you listen to the stories of various people.