I will commit suicide on New Year's.

Thank you for writing.
It's not a bad thing to end your life when you're satisfied with your life, but I don't think it's necessarily a good thing either.
A long time ago, Buddha attained enlightenment through ascetic practices and was satisfied with his life. I felt like I could just disappear from this world.
However, my conscience in my heart said, “Why don't you convey that enlightenment to others? Even if everyone doesn't understand it, there must be people who can understand it at least a little bit,” she begged for proselytism. The Buddha accepted it and set out on a missionary journey.
I think there are people in the world who need your help.
With the intention of being reborn next year, how about starting to walk for those around you who need help?
Just like Buddha.

I read it.
You feel a sense of relief that when you commit suicide, you are relieved that your life will end and that the pain you have lived until now will end. You don't think it's bad to be satisfied with your life and die without permission. You think your life was a good life and a happy one. There are probably various reasons why you think that way, and I accept your feelings.
I think there are times when people think so, and there are times when they give up on living.
I think you're free to think that too.
However, I think that thoughts that are different from those thoughts also exist in your heart.
That's all, so why don't you take your time and face yourself?
You have the life and time you've been given. There may be long and short, but please take a look at the life, time, life, and various relationships and things you have been given.
I sincerely pray that you will live through your irreplaceable time, life, and life with care.

In the Jodo sect, it is explained that anyone who calls themselves Namu Amida Buddha (Namu Amidabutsu) and Nembutsu can pass away in the Pure Land of Paradise after their death.
This is because it is a story that appears in the sutras, and a Buddha called Amida Buddha swears that he will always welcome us to the Pure Land of Paradise.
I don't know when each person will die, but Namu Amida Buddha,
Namu Amidabu Namu Amidabu
Namu Amidabu Namu Amidabu
Let's call it nembutsu (and) and hope for a happy ending of life (being reborn as a Bodhisattva of the Pure Land of Paradise in the next life).
Amitabha Buddha is a Buddha who doesn't abandon any kind of wicked or foolish person.
Note, reciting nembutsu continuously is a rhythmic exercise for the brain, and it seems that brain rhythm exercises have the effect of regulating the function of serotonin nerves, so there is a possibility that it is useful for mental and physical health, so I recommend nembutsu in that sense as well.
Singing and jogging are also recommended.

　Good evening. I don't mean to ask questions, but the fact that they answered “I couldn't think of it” led to the realization that “I overdid it in my life.”
Yes, “I can't think of it, I don't understand, I can't think” is a very difficult phrase to say. Maybe it's because of school education or something.
However, with this question and answer, you were able to express the true state of “I couldn't think of it at all at that time.” I think this is a very good thing. And I'm probably guessing that it's not “I don't want to be anything,” but “I don't want to do my best without my own satisfaction.” The way you write it looks like “hard work = pain,” but not all hard work is painful, is it? And it doesn't seem like you're happy with your life, right? It's not senility.
I took the trouble to answer “I don't know,” and now that I have a self that can do that, I think I've acquired one “way of life without overdoing it.”
Please reply if you like.

I can't say I understand how you feel
in the circumstances you are in
I felt it was no wonder that I wanted to die.

It was really difficult.