Aiming for justice

I'm indebted to you.
There were times when my feelings were fuzzy, so I would appreciate it if you could tell me something.

I'm currently 8 months pregnant.
When I was sitting on the train home from work, the old woman next to me scolded me, saying, “There's a pregnant woman standing up, so get away.”
I also placed my bag on my lap so that I could see the maternity mark I got from the government office, but maybe the old woman didn't know the maternity mark, couldn't see it from the side, or didn't I look like a pregnant woman because my stomach didn't stick out much in the first place.
It's only 1 station until the nearest station, and it's a hassle to say it back, so I handed it over for now, but it was creepy because they were staring at me the whole time.

Even after that, the old woman did good things! I remember that they seemed full of sense of justice, and even when the days changed, my feelings somehow didn't clear up.

What is justice?

As an aside, I was thankful that another sister handed it to me in the elevator after getting off the train.

4 Zen Responses

Thank you for your question.
Justice is difficult to define because everyone is different.
The old woman probably said that out of ignorance because she didn't know you were pregnant.
At such times, it's a good idea to calmly explain that you are also pregnant.
Also, if the old woman doesn't even listen to it, she says to the pregnant woman who gave up her seat, “I'm pregnant too, but I'm getting off at the next station, so please sit down. How many months is it now?” It would be nice to talk about things like that so that old woman can hear it too.
Ideally, someone who isn't a priority seat will give up their seat to the pregnant woman before that old woman talks about it.
Even so, knowing the other person's circumstances is very important in human relationships, isn't it?

It's complacent, isn't it?

　Hello. Even though you are pregnant yourself, that treatment is annoying, isn't it?
As you probably think, justice is complacency.
That's also when you think, “This is natural, I'm right, isn't it?”
“What is justice?” Please know that not limited to the question, everything can also be directed at oneself, and in that sense, they are equal.
Also, I don't know if “another older sister” decided “I will act in a just way” and handed it over. They probably did it without a label like that.
I hope you and your baby stay healthy.

There is also justice to protect hungry children

Caring for pregnant women is also caring for babies.
You may have been judged that “if I persevere, there won't be any waves,” but if you think about babies, there are situations where it is necessary to insist on what you should insist on (not arguing).
It can also be said that “justice” is something they want to protect.
The old woman wanted to protect pregnant women.
The worry of pride and the anguish of anger are also involved, which is a bit confusing, but there is a possibility that there was no malice at the beginning of the statement.
Maybe even the old woman thought about it for a while and made up her mind (gathered up her courage) to speak up.
This time, it's not a fight against justice, and maybe there's a lack of communication.
There is also “justice,” where you want to protect pregnant women and babies, and “justice,” where you want to protect laws, religious rules, and regional conventions, but when justice and justice are in conflict, dialogue and peaceful negotiation may be important first.

Maybe I unknowingly protected my baby and myself?

Yuzu-san

Good morning.
The fact that Hayato Chiri's grandmother misunderstood me and was frustrated and confused
I'm guessing.
It made me feel bad.

I have a question.
Yuzu-san is in the past
Do you have any memories of “being treated so unreasonably or absurd that you couldn't say it back”?

I used to have a habit of “hardening” and “freezing” when confronted with arguments.

Do you know what the polyvegal theory is?
It explains how our nervous system responds to stress and danger.

① Sympathetic Nervous System:
This is a system that activates when we feel in danger.
My heart is pounding, my breathing is getting faster, my muscles
I'm nervous.
This system helps us decide whether we “fight” or “run away.”

② Dorsal vagus nerve:
This is our extreme
It is a system that activates when faced with stress or trauma.
When this system is activated, we have a “freezing” response.
They can also be seen on savanna animals.

③ Ventral vagus nerve:
This system helps us connect with others, regulate our emotions, and calm down.

* Traumatized people may have excessive activation of the “dorsal vagus nerve,” and they may show a “freezing” response to everyday stress.

When you're exposed to situations or stimuli that remind you of your trauma, your body may feel like you're re-experiencing past trauma.

By receiving psychotherapy, etc., it is possible to improve the sensitivity of the dorsal vagus nerve.
I'm pregnant, and self-care such as breathing exercises, meditation, and simple yoga in consultation with a doctor or midwife enhances relaxation effects and helps reduce the freezing reaction.
Of course, it is also useful for childbirth.

To the old woman
“No, I'm pregnant too!!” Even though I tried to say it back, I couldn't do it,
What I didn't do is probably a reaction where I unknowingly protected my baby and myself in an attempt to avoid trouble.
Of course, this theory isn't everything, but I hope you find it helpful.

It's getting colder, so please be careful about colds etc.

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