About my relationship with my daughter

I read it.
You're struggling with your relationship with your daughter, aren't you? I don't know the details of the relationship between you and your daughter, but I feel like I understand your feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
Your daughter was probably hurt by what you said, so maybe she can't forgive you easily, and maybe she can't switch her mind.
Nonetheless, they probably won't be able to leave the house, so I'll be able to listen to my daughter's feelings little by little from now on. And let's start communicating little by little.
There are many things between parents and children, and there are also misunderstandings, misunderstandings, and indulgence. Parents aren't perfect either.
I think there are situations where the daughter will naturally change if she acquires social skills as she grows up.
There aren't many things that change as easily as morning dramas.
Please take your time and watch over your child without being in a hurry.
I sincerely pray that you and everyone can continue to cherish each other from the bottom of their heart and deepen relationships while respecting and caring for each other, so that everyone can continue to get along well and help each other and share happiness from the bottom of their heart, and that your children can grow healthily while being involved with many people. And I wholeheartedly support you all. We wholeheartedly agree

　Hello. Overall, I feel that this is probably a process for children to become independent. From babies crying no matter what happens, to early childhood where they begin to express their own opinions, and childhood, where the number of steps increases due to various experiences, they say, “It's not my parents' property anymore. My parents aren't right either. It's the end of the process of “I'll take care of myself.”
“Parents don't hurt their children” is ideal, and I think efforts should be made to do so, but it is an idealistic theory until I get tired of it, and reality comes out in shambles. Raising children has two aspects: “what you wish for” and “actual action,” and I think that being aware of them is one part of raising a child, and “one part of being a parent.”
Why don't you think about it in such a big story?
“You're also working towards independence, aren't you? I agree and I support it. What kind of relationship should I have as a mother towards the shared purpose of independence?” It's like that. Instead of facing each other, they cooperate for the same goals.
You might say “you don't have to do anything” for now, but if so (without notice), there's no pocket money, no cooking, and no laundry. Visualizing things “I've done for you without saying it until now” is also a path to independence. You yourself must imagine “what an independent daughter can do, what will she do herself.”
Stop being swayed by kids. Think of it as a result of raising children because you're going to become a full-fledged woman.

Thank you very much for your consultation.

My daughter's attitude doesn't mean she's completely closed off, and I can feel that she's still looking for some kind of connection. For example, even though there is an option to leave home when going to college, I think there is a mentality that people don't want to completely break off the point of contact with their families when they want to go to college.

So, although the daughter seems to be keeping a distance in terms of attitude, in reality, she probably hasn't completely broken the connection with her family, so why don't you first value “respecting the other person's pace and feelings without trying too hard to repair the relationship”?
First of all, “Let's sort out the relationship between myself and my daughter.” If you were able to tell me about the events where the relationship with your daughter deteriorated, this is a great opportunity!
The fact that she conveyed it to me must have included in her daughter the expectation that she would change her relationship with Fu-san. So, by objectively analyzing Fukahori, who is close to her daughter's feelings, such as “what were the words and actions that hurt her,” “which part were there any hurtful words or actions,” and “were there any minor injuries,” and Fu-san's own feelings and thoughts when that event occurred, such as “where did you feel anger” and “I felt sad about my daughter's words and actions,” isn't it likely that they will be less likely to respond or be in the same situation?

The rest is to “respect my daughter's pace.”
It may be heartbreaking, but until your daughter is spontaneously involved, why don't you try to respond at the other person's pace instead of forcibly talking to them or cramming them up?
However, it's not that they don't communicate at all, and they don't need to be returned, so I think it is necessary to continue communicating in a form that is not burdensome, such as greetings, short messages, and letters.

I've said a lot, but it's hard to handle everything alone, so please consider getting help from a counselor or a third party.
It's important to take small actions to improve relationships little by little. Please don't be impatient and try to respond with an eye on the other person's feelings and your own growth.

I don't want to be interfered with, but I haven't thought about choosing to become independent from my parents yet. Conveniently, the indulgence for parents is also visible and hidden, isn't it?

I can say that I'm selfish now (if I were a parent, I wouldn't abandon them), but when I go out into society, I'm going to run into unreasonable things that don't go through.

I'm still a minor and child, so I think it would be nice if I could spend my time as I please under the protection of my parents. As a parent, let's say NO to requests you can't make, and give your daughter the ability to think. If you want to pass through your own thoughts or move people, let them learn that the understanding and cooperation of those around you (parents) and their daily attitudes influence it.