I lost my best friend and I can't get back on my feet

I sincerely pray for the souls of my best friend.
Gassho Nanmu Amida Buddha.
Now, I don't know if it's possible to completely “recover” after a sad event.
Unless memories can be erased, complete recovery may not be possible.
So it's OK for us to have old wounds.
However, if you connect separate episodes with different times and places into one story in your mind, sadness and depression may be amplified, so be careful.
It's normal to feel sad about yesterday's sad events, but it's better to dig up sad things 10 years ago from there and stop asking “why is my life like this.”
For those who think like that, the completely separate episodes are probably bundled into files in the same folder as an extension of the same story.
It is dangerous to connect separate episodes into the same group and label (conceptualize) “a collection of misfortunes in life,” “my life is nothing but misfortunes,” etc.
So, I don't mind if my best friend's case is completely sad and becomes an old injury, but let's just think of it as a separate event so as not to think about it by connecting it to other old wounds.

Thank you again, Hiro, for sharing your voice with Hasunoha. The words “the days are hard to live because I feel like there's a hole in my heart,” and that deep sense of loss and sadness are painfully conveyed. The last three days at the hospice were such a precious and irreplaceable time that I was able to express a lot of gratitude, and even my best friend's sleeping face felt adorable. Those memories will continue to shine as a warm light in Hiro's heart from now on.

Her relationship with her best friend's mother and the situation where her funeral and grave visits don't come true probably make Hiro's grief even deeper and more complicated. It's painful. Please don't accuse yourself of being a “bad person.” Just as my best friend said, “There's no way someone this caring is bad,” Hiro's deep sadness itself is proof of his deep love and compassion for his best friend, and their 35-year long bond.

I really appreciate the feeling that my mother needs Hiro and wants her to be well. Out of compassion for her mother, she is probably acting in a good-natured manner so as not to cause concern. But sometimes it's not a bad thing to throw up a weak voice or rely on someone else. You feel that “my heart is weak and I have nowhere to exhale.” That's why I think that your words to Hasunoha are an important step for Hiro to face his own heart and try to overcome this suffering somehow.

Buddhism teaches that “everything is suffering.” It means that life is full of things that don't turn out the way you want them to. Breaking up with someone you love is one of the greatest pains. However, through that suffering, we may be made aware of what is really important, such as “the preciousness of life” and “the thankfulness of a relationship.”

They talk about their memories, sometimes cry, and use the warm words and kindness they received from their best friends as food for their lives, and live every day with care today. Little by little, that accumulation will heal Hiro's own heart, and I think it will turn into the power to look forward. You don't need to be impatient. Please walk at your own pace and slowly. Also, when you get tired, please come to Hasunoha anytime. We're here for you.

I read it.
I read various things and thoughts between you and your friends. I feel that it is a very irreplaceable and important relationship that cannot be fully expressed in words. I don't know the details about you or your friends, but I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
Your friend's mother didn't treat you well, and I think it's very sad that you weren't able to attend the funeral.

I pray with all my heart to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors that that person will be at peace from the bottom of my heart. Shishin Gassho Nanmu Amida Buddha Namu Amidabutsu

Please pray from the bottom of my heart that you too will feel at ease.
That person will always be guided by the Buddha or God, and a close person or ancestor who went there earlier will kindly welcome you. Then, under the Buddha and God, they are saved from any hesitation or suffering with their ancestors, and they are sincerely relieved, and they attain Buddhism cleanly without any worries. And they will continue to watch over you and the people you have relationships with with peace of mind.
That person always sincerely appreciates you and cares about you.
The relationship between you and that person will continue forever from now on.

Please continue to take good care of that person and live your life firmly. And in between, please talk to that person sincerely while thinking back on that person, and I'm sure that person will kindly accept your thoughts.

I sincerely pray that you will continue to cherish your relationship with that person, that you will continue to walk through your life well from now on, and that you will be able to live through wonderful encounters and relationships from the bottom of your heart. We wholeheartedly agree

Also, when one day you complete the ten-life you have been given, the Buddha or God will always guide you, and that person will gently welcome you along with your ancestors, and sincerely pray to Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you are happy to be reunited with that person and feel at peace from the bottom of your heart. Shishin Gassho Nanmu Amida Buddha