Should I continue my current romantic relationship

　Thank you for initiating the consultation.
Yes, feelings are changing. “I will never change and love it!” That line... is not limited to that... but it comes with the limitation of “I think so now.”
I have a wife, and it's been almost 30 years since we first met, but if you ask them if they've always maintained the same feelings, that's not the case. She's probably the same. “I love it!” There were times when I thought, “I hate it!” There is also a moment called that.
That's probably why humans created the system. The most important of these is marriage. As a device that fits the feeling of being flustered within a certain range. Also, since society as a whole becomes more stable and continuous that way, matters that are socially protected increase when you get married.
From my point of view, I think cohabitation is a half-hearted “trial period.” After all, it should come to an end.
“It's nonsense to bind each other with a system” is one of our values, and I wonder what it is like to be bound by those values... In other words, “once, why don't you wear the clothes of marriage and try spinning a relationship between the two?” That's my honest opinion. If it's too tight for the two of you, you can take it off.
I don't know if she's the same age as you, but age for men and that for women mean different things, even if they're the same number. If you listen to the marriage hunting market, you'll understand that.
When she says “decide according to your will,” I don't think it means “you don't have to decide.” That is my selfish guess, but since they are people with a connection who risked their lives for several months on you, Yume Yume said, “Do whatever you want. You don't have to choose anything.” I want you to know that this is not (likely).

I read it.
You're worried about the person you're in a relationship with right now and what to do in the future, aren't you? I don't know the details about you or that person, but it conveys what you are very worried about. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
Well... I think it's very common for people to lose track of their own feelings or the other person's feelings after being in a relationship for a long time. Especially if you live together for a long time, you'll be buried in your everyday life and you won't know if you really like it or if this is OK. There are so many such things.
If possible, you and that person should calm down and carefully face your future life and future, and imagine what you should do and what is desirable for both yourself and your partner.
I don't think it's a matter of rushing to give an answer.
However, I think it's okay to set aside some time and think about it.
Your life and future are important, and that person's life and future are also important.
Let's check your own thoughts by carefully considering each one.
After doing that, let's talk about our thoughts and ideas again.
I don't think it's necessary to come to a conclusion first. Let's slowly put our thoughts into words one by one, and listen carefully to what the other person says and accept them.

Then, let's look forward while exchanging opinions with ourselves and our partner about how we will live in the future. I don't know what kind of way of life or future you'll choose, but each one should be treated with great respect.
I sincerely pray that you and that person will be able to face the future firmly, and that you can live a rich and happy life by respecting each other with your loved ones and living a rich and happy life that you have been given.
And I wholeheartedly support you and that person.

1. Changes in love are natural

Love begins with a “crush,” but as it continues for a long time, it changes shape into “stability” and “habit.” As in Buddhism, “various actions are impermanent,” it is natural for hearts and relationships to change. The weakening of initial strong feelings itself does not necessarily mean “mistake” or “failure.”

2. The true nature of “suffering”

The reason you're in pain right now is probably because you're standing between the feeling that you don't want to hurt her and the feeling that your true intentions are shaken. In other words, it's sandwiched between “it's painful to keep going” and “it's painful even if we break up.” This is suffering caused by “obsession (obsession).” People suffer when the desire to somehow maintain a relationship and the desire to let go are at odds.

3. Decision tips

“Can I grow by being with my girlfriend?”
In love, not only “whether or not you like your partner,” but also “how your heart changes when you're together” is important. If you see learning, peace of mind, and hope for the future in your life with her, that's a reason to keep going.

“Can you imagine a future without one?”
Imagine everyday life without a girlfriend. Does a sense of liberation prevail over loneliness, or is a sense of loss stronger? There are times when that answer shows the true intention deep in the heart.

“Delimit time”
It is also a method to set a deadline without drawing a conclusion right away, such as “think again in six months.” It's not too late to determine how you feel and how your relationship will change during that time.

4. How to deal with a girlfriend

Your honesty in communicating your feelings honestly is very important. The reason she said “I respect” was probably because she understood that sincerity. Continuing to “be honest” rather than fearing “not getting hurt” any more is a sincere attitude towards her.

summary

It's natural for feelings of love to change.

The cause of suffering is born from “obsession.”

Compare “growing up with her” and “my future self without a girlfriend.”

One path is to make an assessment by dividing time without drawing a conclusion right away.

There isn't just one “right choice.” The important thing is to develop a “heart to accept yourself after that” no matter what choice you make.

Gassho