Can't get out of pet loss
About a year ago, my beloved cat, whom I loved so much, crossed the rainbow bridge.
I was still young, but I had kidney disease.
I was also taking subcutaneous infusions at home, but since recovery was not expected, I consulted with my attending physician and made a decision to stop the infusion, which is a life-prolonging measure.
There were a lot of things that seemed dull, so I made a decision because I wanted to make it easier for them.
Since I stopped, I've been getting weaker and weaker.
Even on the morning of the day he passed away, he seemed very dull.
I was working for a short time, so I said, “Please wait” and went out.
It was cold when I got home.
Maybe when I left, I was on the verge of passing away.
Stiffness had begun a little bit after death, so I think they may have noticed that they would pass away if they were 5 more minutes late.
Why did they say “wait” at that time and left it behind?
I live my normal life normally.
It's not blocked, but it always reminds me of the day I passed away from time to time.
I was the one who made up my mind to stop life support measures, so why didn't I save my work until about the time I passed away?
When I hear stories from other owners that they died in their arms, I wonder how heartless I was.
At dawn, when they came to my sleeping side, I stroked them, but I was so sleepy that I fell asleep.
They said it would have been nice if they woke up and hugged them at that time too.
I wonder if my cat wasn't lonely, and they thought I was cold.
There must have been a lot more fun than that.
A lot of love has been poured out, and I've received a lot of love from pussies.
But no matter what, I remember it.
There are times when I think I'll welcome even a new protected cat, but at the same time, I feel responsible and still can't step in.