What does it mean to love yourself

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The pain of being betrayed by someone or a sense of loss when you are hurt by someone you believe in
It's so deep that words can't express it. In the midst of that pain, it's no wonder I want to blame myself even more when they say “I drew this reality.”

But I want you to remember it. Suffering didn't come “because you were to blame.”

In Buddhism, there is a way of thinking called “luck (luck).” This is the teaching that “all events are caused by overlapping relationships (factors).” In other words, what is happening to you now is not the responsibility of “one person,” but is a “result of a relationship” where people, time and place, their thoughts and pasts are intricately overlapped.

Therefore, there is no need to be able to push everything into yourself, “because you are bad” or “because you were drawn to it.” And of course, there's no need to force yourself to be positive.

Hating people is also
There are times when you regret the past
Blaming yourself is also
It's a natural movement of the mind.

In Buddhism, these are also taken as “afflictions.” However, worries are not “things to be erased,” and they are something we face, notice, and let go little by little.

For example,
“Let's just spend a relaxing time today while holding our sorrow”
“Don't blame yourself for being hateful, just notice that feeling”
Instead of fighting “emotion itself” in that way, gently snuggle up to yourself who has those feelings.

Isn't that what “loving yourself” means?

There are times when words of self-enlightenment stick to my heart,
Conversely, there are times when it puts pressure on you.

That's why, if you're feeling “tired of those words” right now,
That, too, is a sincere response from your heart.

Don't rely on words, just take a deep breath.
Even if there are days when you can't do anything, don't blame yourself.
If tears come out, don't stop them and let them shed.

Like that, while forgiving myself little by little,
The day will come when we can walk towards tomorrow again.

No matter what you feel, you can leave it as it is.
The pain, regret, and weakness within you
Everything is a part of you,
That's why you're living properly.

I'm rooting for you.

I read it.
While you have recently been betrayed by others and are having a hard time, when you read a self-enlightenment book, you read that “all the reality that is happening now is something I have drawn to,” and you tried to change your way of thinking.
If you had feelings of sadness or hate there, you would be unhappy and you would be ashamed, and the more you tried to force yourself to be positive, the more it became more and more painful for you.
So I think that loving myself means being close to the emotions of that time, such as being painful, hateful, sad, or leaving regrets, etc., and I don't think it's necessary to unnecessarily develop myself. I think it's very precious for you to feel that way yourself.

Well, loving yourself, valuing yourself, and accepting yourself as you are probably not imposing that you have to do this or think this way, as you said. Also, it's probably not about killing the emotions that spring up in one's heart.

Valuing and loving yourself probably means dealing with various things with an honest feeling in your daily life, feeling many things, and expressing feelings that spring up from within your heart.

If you are sad, tears will naturally overflow; if you are happy and happy, smiles will naturally overflow. If it's hard, you won't like it, and if it's difficult, you'll want to ask someone for help.

These things are natural, and they are very necessary for me to live.

You will have to stop hurting others or saying or acting in a way that violates the law, but if not, your bonds with others will increase by honestly expressing your own thoughts and feelings and communicating them to other companies. While connecting with others, you will also be able to empathize with each other, be compassionate and help each other.

And just as you love and cherish yourself, you know that others also love and value yourself, and they sincerely respect each other, cherish and love each other, which is probably nine.

I sincerely pray that you will continue to love, love and cherish yourself with an honest feeling, and that you will be able to live your life while sharing your happiness with sincere compassion for each other.
And I will support you from the bottom of my heart.

I have read your consultation. Amidst the suffering of being betrayed by others, when you come into contact with words of self-enlightenment, you become impatient, saying “if you have to look forward” and “think positively,” and in turn, your heart becomes painful. This is a very natural reaction.

From the standpoint of Buddhism, and the Shingon sect in particular, it is an important practice to honestly stay close to one's heart, saying “if it's painful, it's painful,” and “if you hate it, hate it.” Master Kukai left behind the phrase “instant attainment of Buddhism,” which means “now, this body, the way this mind is, becomes a place of ascetic practice.” Even if you don't force yourself to change your mind to a “good heart,” your suffering itself becomes the entrance to Buddhism.

The “law of attraction” explained in the self-enlightenment book shows that “the state of mind creates action and leads to results” as a one-sided truth. However, in Buddhism, it is called “cause and effect,” and it is explained that it matures over a long period of time. That's why, rather than a short-sighted understanding that “if you have sadness or hatred, you immediately become unhappy,” they acknowledge that “such a mind is also a natural human function,” and we learn from it.

If you are asked what “loving yourself” is, it is not “trying to hurry to become your ideal self,” but “embracing the heart that is here and now without denying it.” Tears of sorrow are also a drop of compassion, and regret and hatred are proof that people are living desperately.

There is a saying in the sutras, “affliction is bodhi (a lie of anger)”. It is a teaching that getting rid of anguish (suffering and anger) is not the only form of ascetic practice, and that looking at it honestly leads directly to wisdom (bodhi). Instead of forcibly holding them down, I'll acknowledge that “I have this kind of heart right now.” That is the first step.

Please don't blame yourself and spend your days little by little with the feeling of handing over even your suffering heart to the Buddha. You don't need to be impatient.

Gassho

Loving yourself doesn't mean raising your self-esteem and making an effort to love yourself.

Even if people just exist, if something happens around them, it will have an effect.
If you are a calm person, you can keep quiet about that event.
It seems that there was a time when a Showa Zen monk who attained enlightenment (Master Inoue Yoshiyuki) investigated what happened to brain waves during zazen meditation at the University of Tokyo.
They tried making noises and providing stimulation during zazen, and it seems that although there was a reaction, it was only the reaction of the ancestor, and there was no response to the scene immediately after that.
If you are an ordinary person, the waves of your heart will probably continue to stand for a while after hearing a noise or feeling stimulation.

No matter where you carry this body and mind, it just catches what is happening there. Even if it's called a catch, it makes it transparent. In a way that passes with people
Even if you hit it, that pain doesn't last a lifetime.

Only the heart continues to chase after.

It's also in the question, but the person betrayed me.
I wonder if they betrayed you. Is it because I betrayed you?

Maybe that person simply did what they thought due to their own self-preservation choices. That person isn't you, so maybe that person just did what that person did.
Right now, that person is just making tricky and unpredictable moves on his field today.
You may be bound by the perception that you have been betrayed, but if you look at it as a third party from 300 meters away, it's just an exchange.
That's over, and your eyes are looking at these letters, these 0△□. You are you, and today's unpredictable and tricky NEO, Fresh, NEW, limited live has begun.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime meeting.
Zazen also nurtures an eye that looks at the truth of oneself, frees oneself from the captivity of one's own thoughts, and reveals the true self and the truth of this world.
why?
This is because if you limit it to people who drive cars, everyone doesn't have the opportunity to learn how to drive well on their own, even if they go to a driving school. Zazen and Buddhism are also training schools for that purpose.
You are the driver and driver of your heart.
Let's also develop ourselves for safe driving in your life.