Should I Talk to My Parents About Thinking About Death

Let's reassure your mother that “my life is fine because I'm thinking about it properly,” even if it's not a way to tell her that she has a sense of despair.

For you, it's probably more convincing to live the way you want rather than living for a long time.

Even if they don't want to worry about their parents, parents naturally worry about their children without permission. Living in conflict while feeling such kindness is also a form of happiness, isn't it?

Humans live in connection. Feelings are shaken because someone is there, but it can also be a source of support and hope.
This is how you feel about your mother and talk to Hasunoha too. I'm living with someone. I wonder if this way of life isn't bad either.

I read it.
You've been thinking about despair for a long time, and you're wondering whether or not to tell your mother about it. Even in conversations with my mother, words may have come up out of nowhere for a while. I don't know the details about you or your mother, but I really understand your feelings.
Well, I'm at a loss in deciding whether it's desirable to say it or not. Nonetheless, during the conversation, your thoughts may have somehow been conveyed to your mother. Even if I haven't told them directly, they may somehow understand them, or maybe they don't feel it at all. It's quite a difficult place...
For example, it might be a good idea to discuss your thoughts with someone you trust or counselor. I don't know what you think as a third party, but it might be a good idea to accept your feelings while receiving your opinions and advice.
Or maybe it's okay to have an individual consultation here as well. There are also monks that can be consulted online, so why not apply to the monk you would like to consult and examine through the secretariat.
Please discuss it with us, including your thoughts rather than what you have within yourself.
I sincerely pray that you will consult with a third party to accept your thoughts and make a decision, so that you can receive various advice and support and live through every day peacefully. We wholeheartedly agree

(From the Editorial Department. (Part of the post has been changed)

I've also read your past consultations.
And for some reason, I loved you, I didn't even know your face.
Actually, don't you feel that way about yourself?
Your mother will be worried, so don't tell her that you have a desire to die.
Rather than that, please take the reins to the idea of rare death that has always controlled your mind, and hold on tight to it.
Living as a human being is hard work.
The desire to die is something everyone feels to a greater or lesser extent.
As is the case with myself, I think many people chew on small joys and connect them to live every day.
Small joys sometimes expand to medium size, and sometimes grow even bigger and grow into happiness.
“Things are based on the heart, centered around the mind, and created by the heart.”
It's mediocre advice, but it all seems like it comes from the heart.
Another point is that when you were in college, you received the diagnosis described in your profile, but you can't see that at all from your sentences.
Regarding that diagnosis, there are many cases of misdiagnosis, and I also hear stories about how it should not have been cured, but it has been cured.
I'm not a psychiatrist, but if the name of the disease is a chain that binds your mind, I recommend a second diagnosis.

I think if you die by suicide in silence, there is a high possibility that the bereaved family will say, “Why didn't you say anything?”
Also, there are cases where the idea of rare death is a symptom of a mental health disorder such as “depression,” so when a phenomenon that may be poor health is occurring, I think it is natural to talk to family about it.
So for my part, I think it's better to talk to your family.
Based on that. Let's compare the merits and demerits in your own way.