About people who are obsessive and harass you

I've been doing the same thing over and over for years, and I'm worried, but even if I keep my distance from wandering around in front of my house after work (not in the neighborhood) and saying strange things in front of other people at work, when I'm alone, they stick out my tongue and make a fool of me, they take pictures without permission, they say they want me to be bitten, and they say I'm envious, even if I keep a distance from imitating people You will be harassed like that
I was also told that it was disgusting when the distance with other people became close and shortened
I think those people who are older than me and act like that are children

They took too much distance in the past and were ignored! There was a time when I was isolated at work because of the noise

I also regret that I took too much distance, but I haven't ignored it, etc., and if I talk to other people, it might be difficult, and I thought it might be bad, so I've endured bullying for over 5 years without telling anyone

Recently, people at work have been replaced, and I've been able to talk to people with a close sense of distance that I can talk to naturally, and I've finally become more comfortable recently, but those people (a few people) are so obsessed that I'm worried about what to do

My heart is already full just to say hello with a smile

Something really bad happened in the past, so even if the number of times is still small and you're better now, your heart is already rejecting it and it's difficult to forgive

If they were monks, I thought they would tell me how to respond to people like this, so I consulted with them

regards

4 Zen Responses

In a stalker

If you go that far, you'll probably be a stalker.
At least it would be harassment, so it is better to consult with your boss at work or the person in charge of human resources.
It's better to take a picture of them wandering around in front of the house for proof.
However, when it comes to work, I think we should keep calm and calm down when it comes to necessary conversations.
It's important to separate work from work.
Unreasonable complaints and monster customers come to any workplace.
This time it just so happened that there was a monster inside the workplace.
There is no choice but to give up saying, “There are people like this in every town.”

How to deal with someone you bully like a monk

In the sentences you wrote, I can feel a deep sense of loneliness, and even so, a strong desire to “work peacefully.”
First, I want to tell you, there's nothing wrong with you.

Being able to endure for over 5 years without telling anyone, that alone is nothing out of the ordinary. It's natural for the mind to get exhausted.

1. I don't want to change my partner
In Buddhism, it is explained that “the heart that tries to change others” itself causes suffering.
There are times when people throw their loneliness and anxiety on others.
That behavior is not an attack on you, but a sign of your opponent's immaturity.
That's why it's natural to feel “unforgivable.”
However, in order not to pour fuel on the fire of anger, “wisdom” to keep a distance between hearts is necessary.

2. Taking distance is not running away
Not getting involved is not “avoidance,” but rather an ascetic practice to protect one's own heart.
・Don't force yourself to smile
・Keep conversations to the bare minimum
・Chant in your heart, “This person is also suffering, isn't it?”
This attitude of looking (looking) quietly supports your heart.

3. Forgiving does not mean justifying the other person
“Forgiveness” in Buddhism does not mean affirming the other person's actions, but rather letting go of anger that binds one's heart.
You don't have to force yourself to “forgive” and just acknowledge that “it's still painful right now.”
It is this honesty that promotes mental recovery.

4. When it's painful to remember at night
Close your eyes quietly and focus on your breathing.
Along with my inhale, “I'm in a safe place right now”
Along with the exhalation, “this suffering will eventually pass away”
Adjust your breathing while chanting.
Shallow breathing disrupts the mind. The deeper you exhale, the quieter your mind will be.

5. What to do if you're a monk
When monks meet people like this, they both pray and keep their distance.
They don't try to change their opponent's darkness; they just watch quietly from a distance where there are no waves or wind.
That is the practice of “mercy.”

You've tried hard enough.
From now on, don't “put up with it,” but have the courage to protect your own peace.
It is not an escape; it is a “wise way of life” as described by the Buddha.

Gassho

Let's have a thorough discussion

I read it.
You've been subjected to such horrible things and harassed until now, and you've been putting up with it for a long time, haven't you? You're worried about what to do now, aren't you? I don't know the details about you or those people, but I really understand your painful feelings.
Since you have been repeatedly harassed by those people until now, I think it's okay to thoroughly discuss this with the company's personnel department or compliance department, and ask them to respond so that they respect your years of exhaustion and work hard to prevent harassment as an organization.
It may be trivial for those people, but it's really painful for those of you who are being treated and treated in such terrible ways.
Why don't you ask for an apology or improvement as soon as possible.
You are an important person, and creating a situation where you can work with peace of mind is for the people around you, and it will also benefit the company.
If they aren't people at work, I think it's okay to firmly call 110 and sue the police station for acts of harassment or stalking.
First of all, I sincerely pray that you will be able to live every day with peace of mind, and that you will be able to sincerely respect each other and do your work with compassion and fulfillment. And I will support you from the bottom of my heart.
Please don't put up with it alone and be firm and resolute in dealing with the people around you. Close to the Heart m (__) m

There is a way to escape in order to live. Yes, yes. (from “The Silver Spoons”)

Workplace relationships are difficult, aren't they

What is the pain of meeting someone who harbors a grudge or hatred
The Buddha said it's unavoidable

No matter how disgusting people are, if they just pass each other around town
If you don't think it's going to be a pain
I wonder if I shouldn't do it because it's my workplace

There are a lot of things in the world that don't go the way you want
Still, in order to live peacefully

Don't overdo it
There is an escape in order to live
You don't need to hold back

Everything in the world is constantly changing
From my position to my relationships to my own mind and body
I think it's good to live thinking it won't stay this way

← all dialogues ← previous next →