Retirement, running away from home, being isolated... there is no going back.

In the midst of such suffering,
What did you put into words without running away
With that alone, Haru is now desperately trying to live.
First, I want you to gently embrace that fact.

What Haru-san needs now
It's not a “right move” or a “plan for the future.”
However, the “current feeling” that I am carrying alone and shivering on my back
It's about getting someone to gently support you.

You didn't destroy your family.
However, “my limit self at that time,” which was supposed to be the best I could
I just didn't make it in time.
Everyone has moments like that.

My sister's words are a reaction in the midst of anger and sadness.
Dad may be in the midst of worrying and thinking about how to return it.
But both of those feelings
It's not just about rejecting you.

Right now, Haru-san is so scared
I'm so lonely,
I don't think there's a right answer no matter what you do.
It's not because “you don't fit in with society,”
This is because “I had so much pain alone.”

Let's take a breath first.
It doesn't have to be deep, it's fine if it's small.
Just breathing to confirm “who I am alive now” is enough.

And a place where you can feel even a little safe...
Even a small corner of an internet cafe is fine,
Even a place with warm light is fine...
So, you can stay still until Haru's mind calms down.

What you wrote here
It's not like “I just want to distract myself.”

“I wanted someone to find this pain”
That feeling is a very natural and very important sign.

What I wrote here is neither an escape nor a nuisance.
Haru says “I don't want to finish it yet”
It's proof that I'm feeling it somewhere.

Right now, we're just going to spend this moment together.
You're not alone.

Please write and spell anything here.
A lot of people want to connect with you.

This is the person who answered during the previous consultation.
First of all, I feel like I want to scold you out loud like the title in place of my kind-hearted father.
Dad must be worried about you and is desperately searching for your whereabouts.
Please think of it as the only act of filial piety you can do right now, and go home right away.
By all means, please go back this far.
As a father with the same daughter, I burst into tears just thinking about how sad it would be if my daughter ran away from home and sent me an email asking her to break up with her.
I never thought you'd really try to run away from home.
Even so, it can be said that it was a harvest that you were able to be alone and know the harshness of society and the appreciation of families.
It's a pity that the university year has been decided, but it can't be helped.
But now you have free time until next April.
Use this precious grace period to break up with who you used to be and create a new you from scratch.
As a monk, I recommend practicing ascetic practices at a temple.
Like the main character in a novel I read a while ago, it would be a good idea to volunteer to live in a disaster-stricken area.
Any kind of work is fine, so try to sweat for someone else, not for yourself.
Of course, it won't be easy for those of you who have lived an lazy life until now, but once you think you've died, you have no choice but to do your best.
If you've made up your mind to run away from home, I'm sure you can do it.

PostScript
I've been worried the whole time.
Anyways, I'm glad.
Please feel free to contact us anytime in the future.

I read it.
You're in a lot of trouble right now, aren't you? I don't know the details about you or your family, but I can tell you that you are having a lot of trouble living now. I sincerely understand your painful feelings.

You are a very important person. You have the right to live every day in peace.

If you are in trouble, let's talk to them promptly. Please consult with the government office, police box, child counseling center, or legal affairs bureau near where you are now, talk about yourself and your feelings, and receive various advice and support.
You can consult by phone, email, LINE, or chat.
https://www.moj.go.jp/JINKEN/index_soudan.html
https://www.mhlw.go.jp/mamorouyokokoro/?sa_p=YSA&sa_cc=&sa_t=1763600509153&sa_ra=51
https://www.cfa.go.jp/children-inquiries
There are also various support organizations and organizations. There are many people who accept you and support you.
Please talk to your parents, family, friends, and teachers about things that are hard to say.
It is not possible to solve various problems right now, but first of all, I sincerely pray that you can live every day with peace of mind.
And I wholeheartedly support you.

Please let us know how you feel, and we look forward to welcoming you.

Thanks for posting.
As far as I've read my posts so far, I feel like a good dad, but I don't want to stay at home. It's best to throw away your pride and commitment and go home, but if you can't, why don't you stay at your grandparents' house?
Even if I were to look for a job, I wouldn't be able to find one without a place to live.
If that doesn't work either, try calling:
① NPO Children's Center Nukku
Telephone 0120-528-184
Reception hours are Monday to Friday from 10:30 to 17:00.
② NPO Kodomo no Sato
Telephone 06-6645-7778
③ Child trouble consultation at the government office
Telephone 0120-7285-25
④ In the event of a nighttime emergency
Telephone 189
Or go to the nearest police station.

I'm sure they'll give me some useful information.
Please take care of yourself so that you don't follow people you don't know at all, and don't become desperate and hurt or sell yourself.
As far as I've read, what you've done up until now isn't a particularly bad thing, and I think it's common when you're young. So I think there are many people in the world who sympathize with your actions so far. That's because you don't have to think that you're alone are crazy.