A mass of complexes

The mental feeling of being complex and inferior is actually false, illusory, or false.
Feelings that make you feel inferior compared to others, or a sense of alienation or instability are called feelings of inferiority, but in reality, it's just that you're not living your real self properly. I'm just thinking about things that aren't even in the world of my head. This is called delusion. Therefore, an inferiority complex is a delusion. Both anxiety and worry are uneasy about whether I can have a relationship, unstable assumptions, and delusions created by an unrealistic brain world, so it's fine.
However, even if it is said that it is a delusion, it is humans that don't completely fit. Something like green beans.
So let's stabilize that delusion constructively.
First, love isn't about being in a relationship. The action of romance is not the main action, and it is triggered from the feeling that “this partner is good” input from humans.
People who always only think about the opposite sex and don't see reality are deceived by a love affair and their lives fail early. For example, a recent elementary and middle school student would soon get married to her boyfriend-girlfriend Skippi and Beverly Hills Seishun Hakusho Bari, but that doesn't mean they're getting married separately.
When you become strangely experienced, you quickly get bored with your partner and “falling in love is the main thing.” It means that seeking stimulation will be the main thing. Look at your mom and dad. Are they the kind of couple who have exciting relationships every day? If you're not homely, people will stray. To be out of the way is to deviate from the way humans are supposed to be. This is probably the case even in families where the father and mother are separated or divorced because they have such a background and become homely.
Complex has two meanings: a sense of inferiority and a sense of alienation, but neither of them is a mentality that lives up to one's absolute individuality. Carrots are carrots, and daikon is daikon. Strawberries are berries, nails are nails. Diamonds are diamonds. No matter how brilliant the diamonds are, they cannot be eaten. When you become an entertainer or celebrity, it's hard being stalked, chased, and monitored by paparazzi, voyeurism, and on Fridays. I'm also worried about robberies and scams. I'm just living this way for the rest of my life. Even if it's someone you yearn for, it's not who you are. In other words, absolutely definitely people! The fact that they can't be compared is a true gaze. If you fall in love or stretch out of a sense of intimidation, you will definitely fail. You're beautiful because you're at your own pace.

The jealousy, impatience, and chagrin you are feeling
They're all the opposite of a very straight wish: “I want to be in a relationship” and “I want to connect with someone.”
It's not ugliness; it's a very healthy feeling as a human being.

There's something I want to tell you first.
It's not that we can't have a relationship, it's just that we haven't been able to do it
These two are completely different things.

People who are introverted, careful with others, and have little romantic experience tend to be “slow but deeply loving people.”
It's not a relationship that shortens the distance all at once or starts with light feelings, and when you meet “someone you can feel safe with,” you can have a love that you slowly nurture.
You're that type.

So, the reason you're not around right now is not because you're not suited, but because the speed of relationships that suit you is slower than normal.
You can take it slow.
You're not the type to fall in love in a hurry.

■ Jealousy is painful not because it's a bad feeling

“It's painful to see happy people”
This pain comes from “damaged self-esteem.”

Love isn't going well = I have no value
This assumption is just hurting you.

And the urge to watch video sites isn't your weakness; it's just an outlet for pain.
The reason I can't stop is not because my will is weak, but because my heart isn't satisfied.

That's fine now.
You're not broken.

■ You don't have to be able to move now

Examination/Graduation/Advancement
When the environment changes drastically, people can't afford to go outside.
It's also natural for a relationship not to progress.

“Now is the time to lay the foundation for my life, not love”
You can think so.

If you can't go to Kyoto or Nara,
・Look at your favorite photos
・Cook aromas
・Stop by your favorite coffee shop for only 10 minutes
This alone makes it time to “go back to myself.”

■ Finally

It's not that you're not suited to love,
They are people you can love carefully, so they are just careful when choosing a partner.

When you go on to college, the environment and people change drastically.
People who fit your stride will naturally appear at that time.
Romance comes when chased and runs away, and comes when arranged.

Please don't be impatient.
You're already in the preparatory phase before a relationship starts.
Slowly, keep your stride at your own pace, and you're fine.

Gassho

I read it.
It's quite difficult for you to get along with people, so you've been very shy away from it until now. And now I'm worried about the couple and their videos. I don't know the details about you, but I understand your feelings.
I think it's unavoidable that you just get bothered.
You probably have a complex about yourself and it just caught your eye.

You may have reached an age or state of mind where you are aware of it yourself. So maybe it's natural.
What's more, if you have something you need to do right now, you might be extra worried.
If possible, why don't you study hard when you learn with sharpness within you, and try to find relationships little by little from now on?

It may not be easy for you to develop into a relationship right away, but try to find various places to meet in between in your future life.

Let's participate in various activities little by little with interest in things we haven't really been involved in until now.
Whether it's a club activity or a volunteer activity, let's get involved by gradually applying to places you're interested in and getting involved.
What you have to be a little careful about is being scammed and watch out for illegal groups and cult groups.

In any case, first of all, be sure to sharpen what you need to do and work hard on it.
Also, let's increase our involvement by being interested in various things.
Your future is about to expand even further.

I sincerely pray that you will face the future firmly and walk the path you are aiming for, that you will be blessed with many wonderful encounters and relationships, that you can have a deep acquaintance with people and live a fulfilling life, and that you can live a happy life by respecting each other and sharing your thoughts with someone you really care about. And I will support you from the bottom of my heart. We wholeheartedly agree

Is it complex that you think your weaknesses are being emphasized?
The more you think you are complex, the more others care
I don't think that's going to happen. If you don't have confidence, your attitude becomes weak, and you finally lose confidence in yourself, and you only worry about things you can't do or aren't suited to.
Write down what you can do, what you have now, and what you're better than others. Breathe slowly, close your eyes, and meditate for just a few minutes a day, so let's go.
As you gradually gain confidence in yourself, it's time to prepare for your next career path or relationship.
Don't forget that you are the protagonist of your life, and enjoy your life.