I was told to break up due to debt but I don't want to break up

Due to his family troubles, he ended up with a debt of 5 million
I can't afford it, so it's a waste of my time, so let's break up for each other
I was told to be happy with someone new. I didn't feel like we were divided because it wasn't a debt he made out of gambling or anything. However, I also understood that he couldn't afford it, so I wanted to meet him less frequently and contact him less often than before, change my style, and go out with him.
Even so, I was told that the relationship was not what I wanted, and that my idea was wrong.
I want to share difficult times with people I love. I wonder if it's no good
Wouldn't his lack of leeway or a thoughtful relationship be forgiven
I don't want many of them, but is that bad
I'm also prepared to pay off my debts together, but I also feel like doing that would be a burden on him

4 Zen Responses

A decision I had a lot of trouble thinking about. your feelings may not be accepted by him

5 million is expensive, isn't it? Also, family trouble weighed heavily as a burden on him, and it's so sad that they have to break up because of that.

Right now, I think your kindness is hurting him. Even if you meet him less often, his head is probably full of debt, and he may even feel miserable about your kindness.

Your thoughts and feelings aren't wrong. However, if you think that the decision was made after worrying about him thinking about breaking up, he may not be able to accept your words right now.

If you still like him, why don't you tell him “I'm waiting”? If you're prepared for that, he might contact you when he can afford it.
This way of parting ways is so sad, isn't it?

This is the time for “Shinobi” to watch quietly. Let's go away and wait.

Nice to meet you. It's called the monk's hearing method.
I saw your consultation. When a loved one is in trouble, the desire to walk together is truly precious. In Buddhism, it is called “love separation (love separation),” and it is explained that the pain of being separated from a loved one is one of the greatest afflictions for humans.

Currently, he is in a “state of self-blame” where he is burdened not only with his own life but also with “family work (work)” and has no room in his heart. When he says “let's break up,” it's not because he doesn't like you anymore, but it's also the opposite of his own mercy (deep compassion) that he doesn't want to involve you in his own misfortune any more.

What you need now is the following perspective.

① Let go of “I want to help” once
The offer to pay back the debt together can now be felt by him as a new debt called “indebtedness,” and it could become a “burden” that takes away his freedom of mind.

② The act of “waiting”
Your suggestion to reduce contact and stay close even if you change your style is definitely not wrong. However, now is the time for “Shinobi” to quietly watch over him until he can forgive himself.

③ It's a freestanding light (tomoshibi)
When you don't depend on him and shine and wait for your own life, it becomes a light that heals his loneliness as a result.

Instead of forcibly persuading them, they said, “I don't want to be your burden; I want to be your place to return to. Why don't you try conveying quiet love without attachment, saying, “I'm ready for that and I'm waiting for you.”

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Talk to public authorities and experts to deal with it

I read it.
He got into debt and decided to break up so as not to cause trouble to you. You don't think you want to break up, do you? I don't know the details about you or him, but I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I think he's so driven in right now that he's exhausted both mentally and physically. So I want him to have even a little time to rest and recover little by little.
It would be necessary for him to consult with an expert if possible and to think carefully about future responses.
If possible, refer them to experts or consultation desks at public institutions and ask them to respond.
https://www.fsa.go.jp/soudan/
https://www.houterasu.or.jp/
https://www.kokusen.go.jp/map/
https://www.fsa.go.jp/policy/kashikin/lfb_madoguchi_250101.pdf
Please discuss how to respond to the debt as soon as possible, make a plan, and process it. And let's keep watching so that he can live every day with even a little peace of mind.
I sincerely pray that he will be able to receive support and respond from many people so that he can live every day with peace of mind, and that he can live a safe and healthy life with you.

As an excuse to break up

Maybe he just broke up with you in the first place and wants to find a new lover.
The debt may have been just the right time for him.
Whatever the reason, he wants to break up with you.
Love is like that.
No matter how much you like them, if your partner wants to break up, you have no choice but to give up.
It sounds cold, but I think that's reality.
Also, surprisingly, there is a possibility that he already has a new lover.
That's because it's possible if you're a lover (a relationship that doesn't even think about marriage) who just plays casually even if they have debts.

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