I'm leaving this world this week

You've carried yourself up to this point, and you've been able to live a hard life even though it's full of wounds. That's enough, the desire to rest is proof that you've taken life so seriously.

The question is “will suicide be repeated?” but from a Buddhist point of view, I think that even if you take your own life, the root cause of suffering will not be cut off, and relationships will continue after changing shape. However, what is important here is the movement of your mind, where you stopped saying “I don't want to cause trouble to others.” The kindness of caring for others while being in the midst of extreme suffering is proof that the same warm light as the “heart of the Buddha” still remains within you.

Your favorite grandmother probably doesn't want you to take her own life and come see her. Even in this world like a quagmire, there are probably desperate hopes from that world that you will complete your life.

Please don't set a deadline for “this week,” and stop taking that poison once and for all. There is always a place that can listen to your deep sorrow. Why don't you listen to someone's voice over the phone one last time? We don't want to lose your life.

If it's really hard, please make a phone call here
Telephone hotline (24-hour service, toll-free): 0120-279-338
Telephone of Life: 0570-783-556 (Navi Dial, every day from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.)
0120-783-556 (toll-free, daily from 16:00 to 21:00)

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I read it.
You're having a very difficult time right now and don't want to live anymore. You're thinking of taking your own life, aren't you? And you're worried about what will happen after that. I don't know the details about you, but I sincerely understand your painful feelings and anxiety.

You've probably had a very difficult time up until now, and I think it's very difficult to live. And you probably don't want to see any more bad things in this world, and you don't want to have any more painful feelings.
I don't know the details of your current condition, but I can tell you that you are very driven.
Please take your time and tell me about your feelings here as well. You're never alone. Here, too, we are connected to you. Also, you have connections with many people.

Please talk about your painful feelings to people you trust and family members. Let's get it out of your heart. I'm sure everyone in your family cares about you from the bottom of their heart, and they're probably worried.

Also, please relax your own mind and take a good rest. Please relax and heal your heart. Let's leave bad things alone for a while.

The Buddha, gods, and ancestors have also seen that they are suffering so much that you want to die. Please share your thoughts with the Buddha, gods, and ancestors. And please ask the Buddha, gods, and ancestors to save you.

The Buddha, gods, and ancestors will always gently watch over you, stay close to your heart, and save you.

I sincerely pray to Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can continue to live protected and protected in relationships with your loved ones, so that your heart becomes easier by sharing your painful feelings with many people, and that you can continue to live a healthy life while being supported and helped by many people.

I read your question. And the whole time, I've been thinking, “What is the point of you raising the question here?” I'm not shouting “hold me back.” However, I feel that there is a doubt about “is this really OK?”
I'm not saying “don't get lost.” But I want you to ask, “Is it OK for one person to decide that conclusion?”
You probably cherish your grandmother's memory. What would that grandmother say when she saw you now? What are you going to do?
I want you to imagine that at least once.
This is just a place for words. We don't even look at each other's faces. With that kind of relationship, “Let's change our minds!” I can't say that lightly. However, “can I draw conclusions alone?” I want you to ask.
If you can put your painful feelings out in words, then this hasunoha is a good place to express it. We want to listen carefully to that.

that's right... my mind and body are full of wounds.
You've run away from home, haven't you? You've struggled and walked through this life, haven't you?

You experienced a lot of happiness and suffering in love and at work. You mean you've met a lot of people.
Even so, I wonder if no one was there for you.

Drug addiction... have you done OD until now? it was painful, wasn't it? It's going to get tattered, isn't it? It makes my heart say I don't want to live anymore.
But when reality is difficult, medicine can make you forget a moment, right? That's why I thought about taking drugs.

The decision was made after worrying about a lot of things.
If you've been bothering your family, it's something you can't rely on anymore. I think I'm sorry for my existence itself.

There are still more days left this week.
I want to really love you.
Why don't you send me an email because it's fine for me personally?
Let's talk until the end.
I want to know that you really exist.