My husband told me that if I'm not going to get divorced, I'll mediate

Your words ooze deep love, strength, and great exhaustion.
You've been able to face this far with all your heart. Supporting someone is also about offering your time, energy, and heart. And I think you generously offered all of that.

In response to the difficulties of her husband's adjustment disorder, I think that attitude of supporting “I will support you” is such sincerity and love that cannot be fully expressed in words. Also, I don't think your attitude of continuing to reflect, learn, and reflect even though he was hurt by his words is definitely not a lie in the phrase “I did everything I could.”

Even so, the voice blaming myself, “I think I can do a little more,” hasn't disappeared. It's proof that you really love people and have seriously cherished marriage. But I think loving and wearing myself down are different stories.

Even if it comes down to divorce mediation, it's not a “loss” or a “cold choice.”
I think that is a “responsible decision” necessary to protect your life and heart. Sometimes true kindness can only be expressed by “letting go of your hand.”

He is probably doing his best to face his own anxiety and limitations rather than appreciating and loving you right now. No matter how hard you try, when your partner doesn't respond to that effort, a “relationship between two people” cannot be made up of the effort of one person.

If you think “I've done everything” right now, isn't it okay to believe it? Even if they proceed to mediation, it is not a “fight,” but a form of “scathing.” Think of it as a necessary passing point to move on with confidence that you have “done what you can.”

And please don't forget, you are someone who can truly support others. A person I can love. But more than that, they are also “people who can be supported and loved.” Before your mind and body are destroyed, please say to yourself, “Thank you, thank you for your hard work, you did well.”

finally.
If you can look back on your marriage with a feeling of gratitude without blaming anyone or harboring hatred, you will surely have wonderful encounters and light of a fresh start in your future life. May your future gradually become calmer.

Please take care of yourself.

Aren't you in love with your own vision of romance?
Instead of him, you are being too serious and trying too hard, and you are struggling to achieve the ideal that marriage should be like this with a woman.
Isn't there anything that comes to mind?

Being emotional often puts a psychological burden on your partner.
Even if it's not violence, being grumpy is harassment, so that can also be said to be the cause of this incident.

He is more free when he is alone.
Therefore, if he gets divorced, he will be free, unbound, and freed at his own pace, whatever he likes.
It wasn't that you were tied down, and as a result of actually working and living together, I came to that kind of conclusion, so don't blame yourself because it's not your fault.

The best thing is not to get divorced by demanding something from each other.
If you can get divorced without incurring any money, it would be better for you to get divorced as soon as possible.
You don't have to think too hard in this day and age. They get divorced at a rate of 1 case every 2 minutes 53 seconds, and if it were my boyfriend or girlfriend, there would be even more.
Instead of getting divorced, all you have to do is start again with each other and put a stamp on it thinking that we should go on a path where we are both free.

God yo, Buddha yo, please forgive me.
I didn't know that.
no way.
(T_T) (-_-me) There are things you don't understand until you get married!
That's what it is.
('plate`) (T_T) How different is ideal from reality!
That's what it is.
(^-^) ✨ (; '.d`) Why didn't I notice it at that time! Oh my gosh!
That's what it is.

It's like each other.
Let's go back to the situation where you don't have to get married in the first place, or even have to, and set out to find someone who suits you.

Also, to that end, let's use this time as an opportunity to aim for Buddhist training that will grow the mind, enrich the mind, and make the mind flexible.
Otherwise, the next person shouldn't even say thank you for the meal.
Of course, your opponent should also be great, but there are times when you wait even when that's not the case.
That's why people need to make their own hearts TOUGH.
Buddhism is a path that makes the heart TOUGH.
We look forward to seeing you.

I have read the contents of your consultation. I'm glad you've supported your husband up to this point and worked so hard. Gallstone surgery has also been decided, so please take care of your body first. The body is honest. Your mind and body are screaming, “Enough is enough.”

I am being asked, “Did I do everything I could?” but as a monk, I say with confidence. You've done enough.
They say “waving our sleeves together is a lifelong relationship,” but they became a married couple, and the heart of mercy you poured out on him, and the pure feeling of “gratitude, not hate,” which you have now, will never go to waste. However, there are relationships that “connect,” and there are also relationships that “untie” for each other.

It's natural for your heart to be shaken by the words mediation and marriage expenses from him, but that doesn't mean you are at fault. There is no need to put yourself in a place of heart-wrenching dispute (mediation or trial) any more. There is also no need to respond to requests that place an unreasonable burden on you who have done your best in good faith.

Now that we have a sense of gratitude for him, isn't it a path that suits the Buddha's mercy if we embark on a new path with a “negotiated divorce” based on discussions rather than a quagmire dispute?
Please allow yourself to be happy already.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I see, things have changed slightly from before. I think you've done everything you need to do. I think it would be good for my husband (and for you) to get divorced anyway.
The formula for marriage expenses etc. has been decided, and I don't think the court will say an unreasonable amount, so don't worry.
While cherishing your memories with him, please live for your happiness from now on.
Hope your surgery goes well.
I hope you meet someone who understands your kindness.