I'm tired of being useless

Thank you, Sakana, for taking the time to contact us.

As I read it, my heart was filled wondering how long you had been blaming yourself and suffering. Every day, the thoughts of “not being able to do it normally” and “cause trouble” overlap, and the place itself is shaken, isn't it?

I felt that only “I couldn't do it” about my mother and at work remained strong in my heart. But I don't think that calling out “let's do something” while not knowing what to do will go away in itself. When you don't feel useful, you can't believe the “thank you” people around you.

Everyone lives with a self they can't do what they want, and a self they can't get out of. I've heard that there is a big desire to continue to hold on to us without abandoning our weakness and clumsiness while our weakness and clumsiness have not disappeared. I don't think the days I can do my best or myself that I don't like are deviating from that trend.

Maybe “getting easier” doesn't mean getting brighter all at once. First, let's gently count only the “finished” of today's day. It's not something I couldn't do, I just take a breath and check the fact that I'm here. I wonder if such a small place can ease the weight of tomorrow a little bit.

If the current pain is so strong that you can't handle it alone, it's definitely not a weakness to borrow the help of specialists, such as doctors, support workers, and consultation desks. I think receiving support is an important step.

Please don't hold me alone, and come leave your words at any time.
May your steps continue to be quietly supported even in the days when you feel that you cannot live well. Along with Nembutsu.

A few months ago, I saw news that the number of jobs that even people with developmental disabilities can do using AI is increasing.
When you seem to forget something to do, leave a memo on your smartphone or send an email to yourself.
If you search on your smartphone about what to do when a family member is injured, AI will answer these days.
We are living in the Reiwa era, so let's enjoy the technology and culture of this era.
Even if it's sweets you can buy at convenience stores, it's probably a feast that even a lord would have never eaten in the Edo period.
We haven't abandoned this world yet.

I read it.
You think you can't do anything, and you don't like yourself because you're useless. Even so, there are people who care about you, and it makes it hard for me to live. I don't know the details about you, but it really conveys your painful feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I think there's a reason why things don't go the way you want and that you think you can't do the same as others. If possible, why don't you get an examination from a specialist and objectively get answers about your characteristics and way of thinking?
I think it's okay to get advice on how to think and deal with things that make you think things aren't going well.
Also, if you can change your way of thinking little by little after receiving advice, I think your own hardships in life will also change.
I think there are times when you feel much easier just by changing the way you look at things and think about things little by little.
I think it's fine if you don't like yourself; maybe it's okay to have that kind of self.
That's because each person changes their way of life and way of thinking from time to time.
I sincerely pray that you will be able to live peacefully in the future, and that you will be blessed with relationships with your loved ones and that you will be able to live a life taking care of each other.
And I will support you from the bottom of my heart.

I believe that religion in this world (but limited to the real thing) exists only so that any person can live a beautiful, clean, intelligent, normal, kind, loving, peaceful, and better life without sorrow or suffering. ✨
So, now that you've declared to your parents and friends, that's probably the case. You should come and seek that way of life with your parents. That's because Buddhism is exactly that kind of teaching.
There are terrible people in the world. That's why what about me. What about you.
If there are bad stores, there are also good stores. (The store is an analogy) But what about one's own heart and way of life is more about people.
It's okay if you think about the hard things in your life up until now. [Events that I feel disgusting like that just happened to happen individually at that time.] Life itself isn't bad, is it? No one is perfect in life, so I'm sure those bad things and people you don't like have just hit and scattered on you because that partner also had something they don't like. I'm going to learn that kind of thing too. People's circumstances are people's circumstances. You will be free from people and live your own life. Let's do something to keep running good stores, aiming for a better direction without dyeing our minds in the color of sin or evil. To do that, first, let's find someone who likes this way of life. Let's have the heart to seek people and stores who live such a splendid way of life.
Let's say everyone in the world was a bakery. There are bad bakeries too. There is also a great bakery. There are also bakeries that sell cheap ingredients but are expensive. But people are people. You are also a bakery, a member of a bakery, and a staff member.
Even if the people around you are all infected with the egotistical Baikinman, you must not infect your heart with bad pathogens. In order to make bread that everyone thinks is delicious, they live healthily, physically and mentally so that they are strong, rich, and satisfied.
Everyone is doing their best to live their lives. It's not really about anyone else.
Everyone is probably just living to protect themselves.
That's why, that's why.
I wonder if everyone has the same sense of self-preservation to protect themselves, so they can acquire better self-preservation skills. All you have to do is set it to the highest level of self-preservation in the world. This is Buddhism's Bodhi Heart, Daoism. Save yourself too. The power to save people.
Make your heart rich, high, bright, positive, peaceful, and seek strength, and seek a moisturizer for the body (teachings of the enlightened Buddha) that suits you. You will find a good life as promised.