hasunoha

My brother and his brother's friend are too insane and I'm in trouble

Previously, I discussed that my mother was opposed to getting a job and that I was in trouble.
My high school brother and his friend are so insane this time around, so I wanted to borrow some wisdom.
First of all, I have a younger brother who is going to be a high school student, and I always invite my friends to my house, but even when my family always eats at around 7 o'clock, they don't go home, and on top of that, they make a lot of noise, which is annoying.
Also, I decided to stay without permission and made noise until midnight, but I have a mental illness and it's very stressful when others are immersed in a safe house or something.
What's more, don't hesitate at all; even my younger brother is in the way of my older sister's reference books! Look so much better! They say something like that.
Can't you look or study as you like even at home?
I know it's not just my house, but the house I live in is like a hangout and it makes me wonder if I won't go to other friends' houses to play any longer.
When I was in elementary and middle school, I invited them to my house to play with my friends, and conversely, I went to my friend's house to play, but I went home at 5 o'clock.
Don't you feel like you're in someone else's house?
Also, I brought sweets to my friends who always went out to play and thanked them, but that wasn't there either.
I shouldn't interfere with my younger brother's friendship, but it's really annoying, so if you have any advice, etc., I'd like to hear from you

4 Zen Responses

Changing the way you perceive yourself is a shortcut to being freed from suffering.

I understand that it is very painful to have a mental disorder and that your home, which is supposed to be a place of peace, is noisy.

But let's change our perspective a bit now. For those high school students, this is a time where time with friends is more enjoyable than anything else, and they tend to lack consideration for their surroundings. Rather than “malice,” it is “immaturity” due to youth. You yourself currently have no time to spare, and you may be in a hypersensitive state where sounds and words you would normally hear feel like sharp thorns. The more you blame your opponent for being “insane,” and the more you try to correct it, the flames of anger burn your own heart.

Other people don't move the way they want them to. Buddhism explains that changing the way you perceive yourself rather than trying to change others is a shortcut to being freed from suffering. As a realistic response, it's a good idea to ask your mother to tell you the minimum rules, such as “be quiet at night.” However, what is more important than that is to have “tolerance” to accept “well, I'm fine” in order to protect your own heart.

“The noise is also proof that my younger brother is alive,” and when you have a margin of mind to take a step back and look at it, strangely enough, the noise also changes to a simple background sound. Please take care of your heart first.

worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Let's be firm in calling attention

I read it.
I see, that's pretty insane. I think it's only right for you to get angry. I don't think it's forgivable that it's fine because it's my younger brother's friend. I accept your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I don't know what the relationship between you and your younger brother is, but I think it's okay to tell your younger brother exactly how you feel. It's probably necessary for everyone in the family to follow basic rules, such as making sure to return home when it's time to eat, and it's not unusual for your younger brother and friends to make noise in order for you to study. My brother and friend are high school students, so that's not something they can be forgiven. Let's ask your parents to pay attention to that point too.
Conversely, I think it is very important to call attention firmly in order for people to cultivate such lifestyle habits and common sense.
I sincerely pray that your younger brother and friends will be careful and not cause trouble to you and your family, so that you and everyone can respect and be considerate of each other and live a healthy life every day.
And I wholeheartedly support you and everyone.

Dealing with younger brothers

You're offended by your younger siblings' words and actions, aren't you? You probably think it's a problem.
What should I do? Would it be good if your feelings were healed? Or should the younger brothers change their behavior?
The original purpose of Buddhism is to relieve suffering (remove pain and give comfort).
Breathe slowly and focus your feelings on the breath you inhale and exhale.
If you continue for a while, you will feel better.
Keep doing this for a few days.
If you feel that your feelings are getting easier, try telling your younger brother that you want them to do this method too.
When I did this method a few times with my younger brother, I felt better,
I think you'll know what to do.

You should consider your private space and your family.

I really don't like that either. It's certainly insane, isn't it? Are your friends' family members or your parents not paying attention?

The house is where the family lives. Since it is a private space, such as meal time and rest time, consideration should be given to the family living there.

If no one teaches you, you will become an adult without paying attention to your partner or your surroundings.

That's disgusting, isn't it? It's not time to bother someone else's house, is it? I don't want them to come, and I want them to come back soon.

You must pay proper attention to this kind of thing first. Isn't it a parent's job? What is your mother's reaction?

If your friend doesn't have a place at home, I'd like you to rely on public consultations instead of getting into trouble at your friend's house.

“It's not just your home. I want them to stop inviting people at night or allowing them to stay overnight. I can't take a good rest. Let's tell my brother, “That was insane.” It's something parents teach their children, though.